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HAVE SOME FUN!! Halloween Jokes

By Laurie Logan

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty, Inc., Broker Associate

October 18, 2008 04:51 PM

How do you fix a broken Jack-o-Lantern?

With a pumpkin patch!

What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
Hello, hello, hello.

What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?

A boo-loney sandwich.

What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end.

Jolee's Boutique Themed Ornate Stickers - Scary Halloween

What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?

A wash-and-werewolf.

What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost?
Fasten your sheet belt.

What is a witch with poison ivy called?

An itchy witchy.

What does a goblin shop for?
                         Grosseries.

How can you tell when windows are scared?
                                 They get shudders.

What do you call serious rocks?
                                 Grave stones.

Why did the witch stand up in front of the audience?
                           She had to give a screech.

What's a goblin's favorite flavor?
                               Lemon n' Slime.

Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on his coffin break.

How do ghosts fly from one place to another?

By scareplane.

How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?

By witchful thinking.

What's a ghoul's favorite breakfast cereal?
Rice Creepies.

Why did the witch's mail rattle?

                              It was a chain letter.

Why did the vampire's lunch give her heartburn?

                            It was a stake sandwich.

What instrument does a skeleton play?
                                    A trombone.

Why was the zombie so grumpy?
                          She woke up too early in the mourning.

What directions did the ghost give the goblin?
                           "Make a fright turn at the corner."
What is a witch's favorite subject?
                                  Spelling.

What do birds give out on Halloween?
                                     Tweets.

What's a vampire's favorite feast?
                                 Fangsgiving Day dinner.

What do little trees say on Halloween?
                                     Twig or treat.

What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
                                      Ghostcards.

Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
                                   She had bat breath.

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
                            It had no guts...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
                            With scare spray...How do monsters tell their future?
                     They read their horrorscope...

What did Dracula say when he kissed his vampire girlfriend?
                                 Ouch...



What is a vampires favorite mode of transportation?
                                    A blood vessel.

What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog?
                         I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.

What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
                                        A blood hound.

Why are black cats such good singers?
                           They're very mewsical.

What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
                              Hallowieners

Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
                                           His ghoul friend.

Where do vampires live?
                           In the Vampire State Building.

                       Who are some of the werewolves cousins?
                              The whatwolves and the whenwolves.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
                                       A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
                   No, they eat the fingers separately...

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
          Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
                               Booberries...

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Steve Loynd

Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH

800-926-5653, White Mountains NH

Laurie, I Have a dirty one for you, What do you call it when you cut out a pumpkin too early - A pre-mature a-jack O'Lantern. Steve

Oct 20, 2008 11:46 AM

Joseph D. Federico

MVP Realty - Naples, FL

Southwest Florida Homes with Joe Federico

Laurie-Great list, Thanks for the many laughs.

Joe

Oct 20, 2008 12:21 PM

Laurie Logan

Keller Williams Realty, Inc., Broker Associate - Madison, WI

South Central WI Real Estate

*JL - thanks, have a great party!

*Russel - you know what they say: some is good, more is better, and TOO MUCH is JUST RIGHT!!

*Jon - so glad you stopped by!

*Steve - cute...

*Joseph - we can never have too many laughs... Thanks All, Laurie

Oct 20, 2008 02:00 PM

Mark Duncan

Olympia, WA

Thanks for the laughs. I especially liked the pumpkin patch!

Oct 20, 2008 02:17 PM

*Mark - thanks so much! I love Halloween! Laurie

Oct 21, 2008 12:24 AM

Laura Watts

Positive Properties, LLC - Laurinburg, NC

Laurie-Thanks for the laughs tonight. I have been feeling a little under the weather-so they came at the right time for me. Thanks for sharing.

Oct 22, 2008 11:19 AM

*Laura - thanks! my daughter and I have been battling colds, also - hope you feel better! Laurie

Oct 22, 2008 11:40 AM

Ann Dail

Baton Rouge Area Homes, Louisiana, USA, 225-761-0551 - Baton Rouge, LA

Broker/Realtor,CRS, ePRO, SRS, B.A.Chem

A great collection for the season. I identify with the Papa Ghost to 'Baby Ghost - Sheet Belts. I have 2 and 3 year old grandsons.

Oct 22, 2008 11:41 AM

*Ann - glad you like it! my daughter used to wriggle out of her seat belt, drove me nuts!

Oct 22, 2008 11:53 AM

Greg Gorman

John R Wood Properties - Naples, FL

Naples Florida Real Estate

Thanks Laurie for the afternoon comedy...I needed a few chuckles.

Oct 23, 2008 09:47 AM

Cheryl Powell - The Powell Team

Southern Homes of The Carolinas - The Powell Team - Harrisburg, NC

Concord,Harrisburg & Charlotte NC Area Real Estate

Hi Laurie, those were cute... kind of reminded me of the joke book I had when I was in elementary school. I just loved that book!

Oct 23, 2008 10:14 AM

*Greg - glad you liked them. Hope today is good! Thanks!

*Cheryl - my daughter and I went through them together. Thanks!

Oct 24, 2008 02:25 AM

William Feela

WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN

Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

These were fun...I printd these for my granddaughter, she will love them!

Oct 24, 2008 02:26 AM

*William - I am glad you liked them. I hope you and your granddaughter have a Great Halloween!

Oct 24, 2008 03:15 AM

Harley Ramsey

Keller Williams - Chatsworth, CA

Chatsworth, CA Real Estate

Hi Laurie...those are cute! Here's one more:

What do you get when you take the circumference of your jack-o-latern and divide it by its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

Cheers, Harley ....glad you liked it!! ;)

Oct 24, 2008 02:08 PM

That's great Laurie... sounds like you had a nice time doing this together. My daughters are all grown up now, 20 and 22 years old.

Oct 24, 2008 03:07 PM

*Harley - that is a great one, please edit the comment to put the joke in boldtype!

*Cheryl - we did, thank you for checking them out.

Oct 24, 2008 05:53 PM

David Saks

Memphis, TN

Broker / Industry Analyst

Why did the vampire become a real estate agent ?

It was in his blood.

Oct 24, 2008 07:29 PM

Michele Hess

Simply Staged Inc. - Rockford, IL

Home Stager Rockford - Simply Staged Inc

Thanks for the cute Halloween jokes Laurie - I will be sure to share some with my daughter!

Oct 24, 2008 10:59 PM

*David - Good One! if you get the chance, edit and put it in boldtype!

*Michele - Ihope your daughter likes them, mine did!

Oct 25, 2008 04:09 AM

HAVE SOME FUN!! Halloween Jokes

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