Tiger Woods' Holiday Poem
‘Twas the night of Thanksgiving
and out of the house
Tiger Woods, he came flying
Chased by his spouse.
She wielded a 9 iron
And wasn't too merry
‘cause a bimbo's phone #
she found on his blackberry.
He had been cheating
On poor little Elin,
and as each day went by
Another whore came out squeallin'
He'd been on Holly, on Jamie
On Rachel, on Corey,
On Joslyn, Kaleeka
TMZ had the story.
From the top of the world
To above the fold
Tiger's ever more sordid
Tale it was told.
With hostesses, waitresses
He had lots of sex,
And when he wasn't hosin' ‘em
He sent ‘em hot texts.
He crashed his Caddie
But didn't call On-Star
He played "spank me Daddy'
With a skanky old porn star
He's been naughty
With Santa, he hasn't a chance,
‘cept a big lump of coal
to match the lump in his pants.
But despite all his crying
And begging and pleadin'
His wife went right out
And bought a new house in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim
As she packed up the escalade
‘If you're gonna get laid,
Then, I'm gonna get paid!"
Now, she's not pouting
In fact, she's of good cheer
Her Pre-nup made Christmas
Come early this year!
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker
Isn't it amazing how little attention this Tiger incident is getting? Must be other news nudging him out huh?
Dec 29, 2009 12:42 AM
Eagle Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC
North Myrtle Beach Coastal Carolinas
Thanks for the smile this morning. Sad he hurt so many people. Too bad their are kids involved but great Elin gets 'paid' very well for her time.
Dec 29, 2009 12:46 AM
Prudential Ambassador - Omaha, NE
Prudential, Real Estate, Omaha, NE
What Tiger did is not funny at all but this poem is pretty funny! Thanks for the laugh. Though, I can't help but feel so bad for the rest of his family.
Dec 29, 2009 12:52 AM
Real Estate Consultant - Lakeland, FL
Thanks for the laugh. Might as well enjoy laughing at him as he will soon disappear from the headlines as the nest so called star falls from grace.
Dec 29, 2009 02:23 AM
The Monaghan Group - Glendale, AZ
CRS, GRI, EPro Associate Broker
Thanks for the laugh but its a damming indication of where this country has gone that a case of marital problems graces the front pages of the papers for over a month.
Dec 31, 2009 01:43 AM
Comments(5)