No "Trying" - Victim Language

Education & Training with Corcoran Consulting & Coaching

One of the most common forms of victim language is the word "try." Whenever people say "I'll try," they are apologizing for failure in advance.  They are telegraphing their belief that they are going to fail in whatever it is they are saying they will try to do.  And you intuitively know that these words are signals for upcoming failure.


If you went to a lawyer and you asked him to defend you in a lawsuit, and he examined your case and replied by saying, "Well, I'll sure try," how would you feel?


If you went to a doctor with a life-threatening condition and you said to the doctor, "I sure hope you can help me," and the doctor said, "Well, I'll try," it would be time for you to get a second opinion.

The words "I'll try" mean "I'm going to fail at this, and I want you to know in advance so that you can't come back to me later and say that I didn't give you any warning.  If you do come back I can remind you that I only said that I would try."


Make the decision, right now, to eliminate victim language from you conversation.  Speak with definiteness and conviction instead.  Say "I will" or "I won't." 


- Brian Tracy


Make A Commitment:  I will eliminate victim language starting with the word "try"! 

Deadline: ______________________


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Irene Tron
Valparaiso, IN

Great point!   I will try to take that word out of my vocabulary.

Have a great day.

Mar 10, 2010 06:50 AM #1
"The Lovely Wife" (Broker Bryantnulls Wife) The One And Only TLW.
President-Tutas Towne Realty, Inc. - Kissimmee, FL


I can't never will :)


Mar 10, 2010 06:53 AM #2
Robert T. Boyer
FHA Loan, VA Loan, Jumbo Loan,FHA Loans,VA Loans,Jumbo Loans - La Jolla, CA
San Diego Real Estate & Mortgage Loans, Ph.D. | VA Home Loan

If we are killing the word "try", can we find something to replace "practice".

S/He is practicing medicine, law, etc.  I don't want to go under the knife until the surgeon's got it down.  Don't practice on me!

Mar 10, 2010 07:12 AM #3
David Holden
Broker/Owner RE/MAX Preferred

Thanks Bob! Well stated and excellent advice.

Mar 10, 2010 10:15 PM #4
Bob Corcoran
Corcoran Consulting & Coaching - Swansea, IL

Great commitment Irene!  Robert, I'm sorry but I must disagree with you on eliminating "practice".  We need to practice our scripts and among other things.  There are a lot of successful people that would not be where they are today if it weren't for practice.  It's my pleasure David!

Mar 11, 2010 06:35 AM #5
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