When a client says "yes" but means "no"

Vicki!!! What an AWESOME tale! I have never had a client like that...but I have seen "that guy" online. LOL!

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing that!

Hi Steven!

Not to be crude, BUT we always have to remember that, that man has to sleep with that woman tonight. He doesn't like ticking her off and sleeping on the couch. So it is not his intention to send mixed signals to the agent. He just doesn't like to make problems for himself. That's why we need to pay very close attention to the body language and other signals.

Same is true for some women, especially ones who are a bit afraid to say what they are really thinking in front of their husband. You have to watch the faces and not merely listen to the words that are coming out.

Claudette,

I do agree that they need good counsel, always.  I recently had a couple whose list of wants was pushing the price up by $600,000 for one or two of the things on the list. I made sure they saw the lower priced one without those two things. Not because I wasn't listening, but because I wanted them to see and study both choices. 

They did pick the one that cost $600,000 more, but I was confident they made an "informed" decision.

I don't have to tell people what to do. I just have to be sure that they have considered all the factors.

Tim,

Often couples don't have a lot of time to talk to each other about the whys. Sometimes I can see the why, but causing them to verbalize it for me, also clues in the spouse.

Sometimes I even have to point out to them that a house they fell in love with at an Open House or New Construction that they went to without me, doesn't satisfy the main reasons they were moving in the first place. Reminds me of a man whose head is turned by a pretty girl who is mean, mean, mean. :)

Sometimes they fall in love with a kitchen and I say, GREAT! Now let's go find a kitchen like this in the place you really want to live! :)

Dawn,

That is one of the reasons I do my own staging for occupied homes. It gives them time to disengage and emotionally withdraw from the house, before we have an offer. As I move things they disengage in stages. Sometimes I take 3 days to do something I could have done in an hour (drives my partner nuts sometimes). 

By turning their home into "a product for sale", they can say goodbye to the home they lived in and loved somewhat before it goes on the market. This is particularly true for a wife of a husband who relocated to another State. It's not about saying yes and meaning no in that case. It's about the yes being very hard to deal with on an emotional level.

LOL, Thanks Susie. 

I remember being interviewed by a woman at Inman news back in 2006 shortly after I was named a Top Female Blogger by Sellsius in NYC and before Inman named me one of the Country's 5 Most Influential Bloggers in the Agent category. She was talking to me for a bit and then excitedly said "OH!! You are not a good "blogger"...you're a GREAT agent! LOL! She cracked me up. Up to that point the article was about Ardell, the "Super-Blogger" and then she realized it was the good agent part of me coming through in my writing.

I think we are at a point in our industry where the next few years agents will want more and more training at how to be a great agent vs simply how to make a lot of money in real estate. It is my hope anyway :)

The reality of why we make the big bucks per client is that we are supposed to know way more than they do about what they should do and want, and not just "listen" and provide them with what they "think" they want from a less informed vantage point.

You don't go to the Doctor and tell him what kind of surgery you "want"...you listen to his opinion of what he thinks you need first. Same should be true in real estate. We know the realm of possibility beyond simply what is currently for sale.

Lesley,

I find watching to be more important than listening. It's one of the reasons I don't do the driving from house to house, so I can keep my focus on the people vs how to get from here to there. Have been doing that for about 15 of the 20+ years I have been in real estate...unless we have seen everything on market and are just meeting AT the one new on market house.

Bernadine,

I usually see the opposite. People think they want a single family in a low price range until they see how much work the houses need at that price point, and end up in a newer condo or townhome. I usually add one townhome to the end of the day, so they can think about that when they go home. I have seen that a lot more often than someone wanting a condo, and then buying a house instead.