I was reflecting back on my participation on Active Rain and the SIF Group - nine months have gone by since I posted my first blog and began to read what others were sharing. I know we don't always agree, but I was thinking about where I am today versus back then. What I realized is I really feel like there is this barrier I can't get past or won't be allowed past? I am not sure which - but it is frustrating, and to be truthful, a little hurtful. It is a glass ceiling in that you are led to believe we can all exist at the same "level" and together, only to find that you are pushed out of groups or invisible to those that you are hoping to connect with.
I read blogs from others where there is joking and kidding - and have joined in the fun banter - and am totally ignored. I am not even sure if the people doing this are aware they are doing it and it happens to others because I read their comments and see no acknowledgement either. It's like the kid who wants to join in a game of soccer and stands there ready to play, but never gets passed the ball. He is a great player, but is just never given the opportunity. How many people are being overlooked and passed over because of a lack of awareness or, and I hate to use the word, but "Groupiness" (is that even a word?).
I am not sure what it takes to break into one of these "groups" or to be acknowledged - but I try - as some of you might - and there is not even an acknowledgment of what I posted. It's like I am on the outside looking in - and I can participate to the extent that I want to contribute - but there is a clear barrier of, I don't know, you tell me. Distrust? Disdain? Disappear, please? It was to the point of when I created my "MEME" post I did not even bother to post it on the Stage It Forward group because I did not think anyone would care - and I did not want to sit "out there" with no one commenting on what made me "unique."
In one of my earlier blogs I suggested we start tracking stats on the AR site. I even put up a bunch of my own. Not one person wrote on the blog so I deleted it. No one wanted to contribute - and I was blown away. I shared about team building with some response - and yet what I found curious is others that have taken my business model and used it to build their own teams have posted info about team building and it's like they are the cat's meow and are praised for their ingenuity and spirit of sharing. When I shared - it was "Eh." I wrote a blog on ugly houses to add some levity to the blogs and none of you posted a house to play the game.
I don't want you to think that I am a lonely whiner - quite the contrary. My life is full and my involvement with Active Rain is something that waxes and wanes depending on my schedule. It's a small indulgence for me - to engage in when I have spare time. I know for some of you - it is a daily ritual and I don't have that luxury so you'll see me here in bursts of time. I am actually supposed to be packing suitcases for my children for our trip we leave on tomorrow - and instead I am writing this . . . But, it's nice to feel validated, and it makes me wonder if anyone else is finding it hard to break through the glass ceiling to be truly accepted and integrated into the blog site.
I know that I was not welcomed by some when I joined and some probably thought I was here as a mole and I have made myself visible and verbal when certain subjects crossed the line for me. Do I deserve some cold shoulders? Probably. But - others have crossed the line with their passion and commentary and I see them embraced and supported for their views while others are just "tolerated" (or ignored).
I have actually had some of you reach out to me privately and on my blogs too - which I very much appreciate - as it makes me feel like in some small way the gap is bridged for that moment, and then I am reminded again that I am under the glass in a clear way when I see how others interact on this site that is so vastly different than what I experience. Maybe you say it will take time - perhaps that is true. After all it's only been 9 months - and Rome was not built in a day.
Fortunately I get my kudos and props elsewhere - and am not relying solely on friendships forged on a blog site for my connection to Stagers in life - but it is a fun escape and a way to reach out to others that I enjoy. I think that it's important to think about this because if I am experiencing it, others may be as well. With thousands of people on the site - I know it may not be realistic to engage personally with everyone, but I feel that if someone takes the time to share a point on blog or to get to "know" you - the hand of courtesy should be extended back. Those of you reading this please be open to extending that friendship to others and exercise the art of inclusion - so that they too don't feel pushed away by a glass ceiling that belies a friendship that is not reality.
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