Is Technology the New Dragon?

Real Estate Agent with DFW FINE PROPERTIES 0506509


©by Patricia Feager 3/12/2016


In a world that flourishes with newer, faster, better, and MORE technology will the basic skill of listening be slayed by the dragon of technology? Is listening fast becoming a lost art? In education, we are taught to read, write, and listen. Then we develop skills to make meaningful connections between letters and words. Comprehension is the key to understanding and the greatest gift one can give to another human being is the gift of listening by giving the other person your full and undivided attention.


Establishing trust begins with feeling safe and that starts with understanding the meaning of communication. Listening is both verbal and non-verbal communication. Sitting face-to-face tells one person if the other is happy, sad, paying attention, stressed, bored, or excited. But what happens when people are not sitting face-to-face and messages are coming across in brevity, such as in TEXT messages? The sender has no idea where the other person is when they receive that text message. Is the receiver alert? Driving? Sitting down? Watching T.V.? Getting out of bed? Having a meal? About to walk out the door? Getting ready for an important meeting? In the middle of getting bad news? A patient, waiting for their turn to see the doctor? Having an argument with kids, family members or a contractor?    


How many people get a text messages in 10 words or less? What happens when the sender sends capital letters instead of words, such as LMTAI? Does the other person know what they are talking about? Often times, it becomes a texting battle of short letters and words that takes much longer than necessary to understand. When a person is busy or pre-occupied with something more important, and they answer the text message (just to be polite) then gets fired back with a series of more incomplete sentences or capital letters, it fuels frustration because the interactive game of letters and words takes on intensity and sometimes, never seems to end on a happy note. I'm sorry, but a happy face does not mean the other person is happy. 


Is listening becoming a lost skill, lost in a translation of incomplete phrases and capital letters? Is the world evolving into a more attention-deficit society due to increased texts, tweets, instagrams, etc., and is there no substitute for a scheduled meeting between two or more people face-to-face?


When children are being educated in a classroom environment, it's easy for a Teacher to know who is having difficulty catching up, maintaining attention, acting out, the last students to finish a test, or poorly organized. Eventually, children grow up and just because they work, and have the financial means to make important purchases, such as buying a home, it doesn't mean they know what they are signing, understand what they are reading, can make fast decisions, or is mentally competent to understand a series of phrases and capital letters in rapid succession.   


A major purchase, like buying a home deserves better than a series of instant letters and phrases. For me, a healthy communication begins with sitting down face-to-face. I am an advocate for interpersonal communication between clients. Helping buyers to feel safer and more secure in a safe place with their undivided attention to fully understand what they are doing demands a good and accurate ear to hear. Communication at best is a two-way street and all parties have to be on board.


©Patricia Feager 3/12/2016





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                                        2900 W Southlake Blvd, Suite 180
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                                         Patricia Feager
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John McCormack
Albuquerque Homes Realty * - Albuquerque, NM, Albuquerque Homes Realty

Good Sunday morning Patricia Feager -

Swinging back by to say congrats on the feature and for being featured on Kathy Streib's post too!

Mar 12, 2016 11:21 PM #62
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

I actually look for situations where I can listen...There be life lessons there for all

Mar 13, 2016 12:44 AM #63
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Real Estate Agent, Top 1% of Lyon Agents
Lyon Real Estate - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Well, I dunno, Patricia, let me think about it. LOL. I just received an email this morning from a potential buyer in the Bay area, asking if she can see a listing (that is not mine) on her way to see another home in Yolo County, with the implication that we will all drop what we are doing to show her a home for which we won't be paid, because she a) doesn't know how real estate works, and b) can't navigate google, but most of all c) lacks common courtesy.

Mar 13, 2016 12:45 AM #64
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

I have no grip with newer technology as this is 35th year using text and eMail... They are all invented locally. 

The annoying part is sales people spam or text you when you are using phone as mapping.. Annoying......

Mar 13, 2016 12:55 AM #65
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

This is my cheat sheet as I can not relate well.

Mar 13, 2016 12:57 AM #66
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Oh how the world is changing. And so fast too.

Many a misunderstanding has begun from misinterpreting intent in a text!

Mar 13, 2016 03:00 AM #67
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Hi Patricia - I couldn't agree more with your advocacy of communication and listening, reading, and understanding.  Face to face incorporates all of the sends and adds meaning to words.  I prefer face to face.

Mar 13, 2016 05:33 AM #68
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Patricia Feager - that's one this I am learning at MarTech Trends event from Buffini & Company - how to combine the two, technology and personal touch!

Lets not get lost into tech gadgets for sure.

Mar 13, 2016 03:36 PM #69
Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, 914-419-0270, - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

I do think listening is something that takes focused practice to be good at, and it's very important in our line of work!

Regarding text messages, I was on vacation last week and received the following text message "Please send me a list of land parcels for sale. Thank you." from an unknown number. Well, sure, I'd be happy to assist but who are you? What kind of land? Where? What do you want to pay? Text messages are being used incorrectly, in my book.

Mar 13, 2016 08:20 PM #70
Dwight Puntigan
DRP Realty, LLC - Saint Peters, MO
Dwight Puntigan

WOW.  This is all filled with a lot of emotion.  I am a naturally verbose person, but have always been taught that if a word or words were not absolutely necessary they should not be used.  My speech, email, and texts probably all sound the same.  I use texting to not interupt another person, allowing them to respond as they can comfortably and safely.  Email to add detail and transfer documents.  However, when I do business my preference is always a brick and mortar presence.  Without the face to face and looking into anothers eyes, their posture, etc the words will allow themselves to be taken out of context.  Business is too important and costly to misread intent or script.


Mar 14, 2016 12:46 AM #71
Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Patricia, we can't deny the importance of technology in our business, however, we are in the people business that goes far beyond a screen. People, no matter how young, still expect a human touch, a genuine one.

Mar 14, 2016 01:02 AM #72
Nicole Doty - Gilbert Real Estate Expert
Zion Realty - Gilbert, AZ
Broker/Owner of Zion Realty

This is why email and text messaging can often times get misinterpreted. You can't see the person's expressions or hear the inflection in their voice as they are delivering the message. 

Mar 14, 2016 09:23 AM #73
Jerry Lucas
ABC Legal Docs LLC - Colorado Springs, CO
Mobile Notary Colorado Springs, CO Notary Training

As smartphone technology improves, perhaps we will see more videophones where you can choose to see or be seen while talking. That would add a lot of non-verbal communication to the conversation.

Mar 14, 2016 02:13 PM #74
John Wiley
Right Move Real Estate Group- EXP Realty - Fort Myers, FL
Lee County, FL Real Estate GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA

I have long been best at face to face communication. I struggle with being forced to use only technology. Texting has it's place but many want only to use txt.

It is often difficult to judge people's emotional state with only txt or email.

A phone conversation allows for more questioning and listening to determine what the other persons needs are.

Thanks for the post.

Mar 15, 2016 02:21 AM #75
Jonathan Denwood
Mail-Right - Reno, NV
Real Estate Services


Patricia thanks for the great post! I personally feel a lot of people in this industry are asking the wrong fundamental questions.

Look if you have large book of local deep relationships and you happy with the amount of transactions you are doing every year. You not going to be interested in technology why should you? 


However if you beginning or trying to increase you book of business in 2016 you going to have to look at technology aids. But this is the key word "AIDS" The basic requirements connected to being a effective haven't really changed really. Go and listen to the interview I did with Kelly Mitchell of Agent Caffeine Podcast were we go into some details about this question.





Mar 15, 2016 04:34 AM #76
Sharon Parisi
United Real Estate Dallas - Dallas, TX
Dallas Homes

Patricia, I could not agree with you more!  We need more face to face and phone communication.

Mar 15, 2016 04:48 AM #77
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

Basically in written communication it is  more important to clarify context, but due to the brief nature of social media there is actually less context.

Mar 15, 2016 12:08 PM #78
Kimo Jarrett
WikiWiki Realty - Huntington Beach, CA
Pro Lifestyle Solutions

It depends doesn't it, on the subject or issue? There are many circumstances where face to face isn't necessary, even in real estate because of technology. 

Mar 16, 2016 04:26 AM #79
Edward Gilmartin
CRE - Boston, MA

I think a lot of consumers like technology because it listens to them. They input data on what they want in a home and the technology analyzes it.

Mar 16, 2016 05:46 AM #80
Joan Cox
Metro Brokers - House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Patricia, right now I have two young couples, and they just don't want to talk on the phone.  Both are out of state, so I get LOTS of texts.   Would prefer a different mode of communication, but it isn't about us, only about THEM.

Mar 16, 2016 10:01 PM #81
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