Everybody Be Cool. YOU. Be COOL.

By
Commercial Real Estate Agent with Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker AZ BR 528507000

"She can tell you all about it, she sees it in the stars . . . "

What is WITH all the OVERREACTION lately?

Clients, lenders, escrow officers and other agents, waving their arms wildly over things that in 5000 years no one but cockroaches and Cher will remain to recall.

  • "I can't BELIEVE I'm not getting my call returned 'yesterday'" (we don't know what someone else is going through)
  • "OMG, they actually made a MISTAKE?"  (totally fixable-very little isn't and what isn't is meant to be that way, find a workaround!)
  • "WHOSE FAULT IS THIS?" (uhhh . . . NO ONE'S? Let's just FIX it and show em why we rule ass!)

We are emotional beings, all of us.

This is an emotional business (yeah, even my cerebral, logical world of AZ CRE).

We're all sensitive and thinking ahead, behind . . .

EVERYWHERE EXCEPT IN THE MOMENT.

So, this beautiful Fort Mohave Saturday morning, as I finish my morning constitutional (water, a green drink, half a cup of java and some stillness with intent) and set out to tackle the important stuff (walking Bella Luna who will not be denied, before temps hit 100) and get my desk cleared (OMG, I cannot stop getting LISTINGS! wooooohooooo! My DESK looks like a war zone but it's all good!).

I consider The Four Agreements - Be Impeccable With Your Word, Don't Take Anything Personally, Don't Make Assumptions, Always Do Your Best - and realize that no one's holding a gun to our head to hop on others' misery train.

Take a moment to be still.

Be the adult in the room while everyone thrashes about like children.
Refuse to play into a war game.

Do what it takes to make and stick the deal.

Ignore the noise.

See the humor (this is magic! There is ALWAYS something to smile about!)

 

BE COOL.

This will save your deals.
This will save your sanity.

THIS WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE.

I will tell you a little story. My mom, one of the best people in the world, had one FATAL flaw - CODEPENDENCY. She worried so much about my siblings (never me--I was the well balanced 'third parent' in my family, LOL)

The first time she got cancer, I WARNED her that her continuous wishing for things to be the way they were, her constant striving to solve problems that really weren't hers and her attempts to CONTROL others' free will would kill her.

The second time she got cancer, I reminded her that I warned her and she had better get her act together. She was brilliant, and knew I was right - but old habits are hard to break. She allowed her love for her children to become a burning desire to make them change their lives, which she had no power to do. So she poisoned herself with her fears.

The third time, she just couldn't fight any more. She still made it to 82--but she could have made it to 100 if she had just let that shit go.

Don't get involved in others' emotional trips. They are not yours, you have no business there.

It is not your call how people behave, whether they follow your rules, whether they follow THE rules. This is your opportunity to shine!

To be the solution with style and supreme hotness. You know I think you're fabulous.

 

If you feel spent, like you just can't deal, step around it, and move toward your truth in light and joy. Rest and recharge, if even just for a few moments. Ground yourself. Throw back a shot. Hit the bong. I don't care how you mellow out. Just do it!

If you must deal, breathe and clear your head. Then go back in, with DETACHMENT and CLARITY.

If it's not absolutely necessary, step back. Remember that directions are always relative.

 

99% of the problem is that we see the problem AS A PROBLEM.

What if, in Divine timing, it's all going according to plan? Even the stupid and wrong and painful is taking us to where we ultimately need to be?

 

And in real estate transactions, as in life, do what you say you'll do, don't take it personally, don't assume, and do your best.

Be COOL.

"Oh well, it's been a good day in hell . . . but tomorrow I'll be glory bound!"

 

 

 

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Re-Blogged 2 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Barbara Todaro 07/14/2018 04:15 PM
  2. Gabe Sanders 07/24/2018 11:00 PM
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Rainmaker
858,090
Kevin Mackessy
Blue Olive Properties, LLC - Highlands Ranch, CO
Dedicated. Qualified. Local.

Definitely need to stay cool during a transaction.  Blowing up and blaming everyone around you accomplishes nothing.  

Jul 16, 2018 04:03 PM #35
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Anna Banana Kruchten Arizona's Top Banana!
HomeSmart Real Estate BR030809000 - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Spot on Missy!!  Not my circus not my monkeys!

 

Jul 16, 2018 04:13 PM #36
Rainmaker
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Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Hi Candice A. Donofrio, love this post. Some people just look for drama. Whether be in business, traffic, the news...yes, that would be easy to do but why? What can we possibly accomplish? Just let it go! 

Jul 16, 2018 05:18 PM #37
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Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905

Candice, what an incredible writer you are! I love you!!! I know it sounds weird to read that, but yeah, I'm on board! You go girl! And I'm putting this one on one of my Pinterest boards. 

Here's a funny I learned long ago, from one of my acting coaches, who had it on the wall:

If you're being run out of town, get in front and make it look like a parade. 

And I'm a firm believer that even if I can't see why this is happening, I know it will all work out for the better. Eternal optimist!! 

Jul 16, 2018 06:54 PM #38
Rainmaker
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Pat Starnes-Front Gate Realty
Front Gate Real Estate - Brandon, MS
601-991-2900 Office; 601-278-4513 Cell

I'll admit we can get caught up in the drama and everything is a crisis. Life would function so much better if we could all be cool, step back, and look at the situation calmly and rationally.

Jul 16, 2018 07:00 PM #39
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Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

I sat back and was calm as two listings were pushed this morning.  Being involved in the "hissy fit" being thrown would not have changed anything.

Jul 16, 2018 07:05 PM #40
Rainmaker
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PropertyMinder (AccelerAgent)
PropertyMinder, Inc. - San Jose, CA
Modern Tools for the Modern Agent

Thanks for reminding us all to play it "Cool", Candice A. Donofrio...  - Tim

Jul 16, 2018 07:19 PM #41
Rainmaker
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William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

When things go wrong, take a minute and step back...look carefully.  Many times things are not as bad as they seem

Jul 16, 2018 07:41 PM #42
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Lynn B. Friedman
Atlanta Homes ODAT Realty Call/Text 404-939-2727 Buckhead - Midtown - Westside -- and more ... - Atlanta, GA
Concierge Service for Our Atlanta Sellers & Buyers

Candice A. Donofrio 
Loved your post - The ancient wisdoms offer so much comfort.You have gotten me thinking about so many sayings I know from over the years. Thanks.

One of my close friends always quotes Mark Twain saying “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

All the best - Lynn

Jul 16, 2018 08:59 PM #43
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Okay, so I just KNEW there was a cute, hot blonde with glorious red lipstick dancing around in my head this week...and I'll be damned, it was YOU, Candice!

You know, I agree with every single point - if you only knew the drama that I dodge and the high road that I travel on a daily basis. I am surrounded by men in my life and always have been; so, I don't know drama and I don't DO drama either. Life is WAY too short and I'm so surprised that as I age, I seem to run into more people who SEEK drama, than avoid it.

For me, I do my thing, enjoy those I surround myself with and laugh...a LOT! It's good for the soul and your health too!

KUDOS for penning what I've been thinking for a LONG time. Hugs from your fellow REAL blonde! 

Jul 16, 2018 10:02 PM #44
Rainer
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Francisco Peot
Richmond Home Sales At EXP Realty - Richmond, VA
The Best Place To Find Your Home!

I like what you said,”Do what it takes to make the deal.” So many times Realtors get their emotions involved. If you take a step back and detach yourself, think about what you are going to say or write, and think about how that will affect the buyer, seller, other agent you will be much better off.

Jul 16, 2018 11:22 PM #45
Rainmaker
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Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl
Samsel & Associates - Clark, NJ
The Last Names You'll Ever Need in Real Estate

Love this post.Exactly what I needed to hear on this Tuesday morning! Thank you!

Jul 17, 2018 06:14 AM #46
Rainer
126,793
Penny Stevenson
Chestatee Real Estate - Dahlonega, GA

Dealing with DRAMA and so needed this!!! Taking a step back! Thank You!

Jul 17, 2018 06:35 AM #47
Rainer
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LaShonda Solomon
Atlanta Communities Real Estate Brokerage - Kennesaw, GA
Serving Cobb, Paulding, Douglas, Bartow Counties

Thanks for this Candice A. Donofrio.  With so much "stuff" going on in the world today it is easy to get caught up and loose focus.  We should all remember to keep our cool.

Jul 17, 2018 10:24 AM #48
Rainer
194,941
Anne Corbin
Long and Foster - Lake Anna - Spotsylvania, VA
Serving Lake Anna & Central Virginia

I've quit this job in my mind so many times because of the problems that arise. I can handle a few, but when it rains problems it seems like it pours!

Thankfully, they usually get resolved and I keep on trucking! It is an emotional rollercoaster sometimes. I like your advice to your mom to let that **** go.

Jul 17, 2018 10:56 AM #49
Rainmaker
638,186
John Marshall - FORE!
LoKation Real Estate - Cherry Hills Village, CO
Specializing in Golf Course Properties

Seems to me like a whole lot of us needed to hear this message right now - very nice post, and there does seem to be some mysterious "Full Moon" over the industry right now, a whole lotta crazy going on.

Jul 17, 2018 01:43 PM #50
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Fred Griffin Tallahassee Real Estate
Fred Griffin Real Estate - Tallahassee, FL
Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker

  Hi Candice A. Donofrio 

           My friend is a retired Lt. Colonel, Vietnam Veteran, live fire active combat.  The man defines "cool and composed".  I have seen him get physically injured (cut his hand to the bone when we were DIY remodeling a rental house), I remember his adult child getting arrested for some crime, etc. and every instance he just remains calm and figures out how to solve the problem.

Jul 18, 2018 07:48 AM #51
Rainmaker
5,892,609
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Be Impeccable With Your Word, Don't Take Anything Personally, Don't Make Assumptions, Always Do Your Best

I've had a stressful morning. I need to keep cool!

Jul 18, 2018 09:11 AM #52
Rainmaker
2,706,751
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

What a great post Candice A. Donofrio .  Yes, everyone is emotional but that doesn't mean we should let our emotions rule...

Jul 25, 2018 06:23 PM #54
Rainmaker
286,684
Susan McCall - - Compass Realty Solutions
Compass Realty Solutions - Portland, OR
Listing and Buyer's Agent

So nice to meet you Candice.  I bet you are a lot of fun when you're not icing the place down!  Very well written and your answers to the remarks are as good as the main entre.  Thanks for the fun!

Aug 23, 2018 11:25 PM #55
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