~ I Had to Say Good-Bye to My Best Friend Saturday ~
2011 has been an extremely difficult year for me. I feel like this is an ongoing theme for me to write about and, it may sound like fiction to some. Believe me, it's not. I have had to unfortunately live through it. As each event unfolded, I thought there wasn't any way possible that I would have to endure more sorrow, pain or misfortune. And yet, more came my way. I am hoping and praying that Saturday was the last of it.
You see, in March, my good friend's 19 year old son, my girlfriend (just 6 days shy of her 52nd birthday), and my 92 year old aunt all passed away within 3 weeks of one another. Then in August, my mom went in for back surgery, only to remain in the hospital for 5.5 weeks and suffer through an additional back surgery, a stave infection, a stroke, pneumonia and the addition of a pacemaker before passing away.
While back home in the Chicago area for my mom. we learned that my father's surgery to remove some Melanoma on his back, which was the size of a baseball, had spread to his lymph nodes. He is now fighting both Melanoma and Lymphoma.
On Friday, I came home from work and Kobi, my loving pet (and subject of many posts) looked to be feeling worse. A few weeks ago he was diagnosed with Auto-Immune Hemolytic Anemia (IAHA or also known as IAMA). This means he was killing off his own red blood cells. He had already dropped 20% of his weight and now he didn't have an appetite. Saturday morning, I happened to wake up early and went into the family room to comfort him. I got down on all fours to pet him and talk to him.
When I got up to go back to bed, I blacked out. As I fell, I hit my head on a sofa table and fell to the floor. Dave was woken up by the sound and came running. I had no idea what had happened, other than a huge lump on my head, an achy neck and shoulders and a splitting headache. He got me back into bed with some ice packs and some Tylenol. (Thank God for Dave!)
Dave didn't want to leave for work, but I assured him I was going to be fine. It was awhile after he left, when I heard what sounded like something dropping on my hardwood floors. I got out of bed, to find poor little Kobi trying to walk. His hind legs were not working. I picked him up and placed him on my bed. His pupils were jumping all around and he couldn't focus. I immediately called my neighbor, Sara.
She picked us up and we went to the Vet hospital. The doctor told us it was going to take a few hours to run some tests. And he suggested that I go to the emergency room to have myself checked out while Kobi's tests were being done.
At the emergency room, I was told that I was dehydrated, and that along with all the stress I had been under, caused me to black out when I stood up. I remained in the hospital for a few hours with an IV and pain meds. The Vet called me to give me bad news. Not only was Kobi suffering from IAHA, but he also had Evans Disease. So, this meant that he was also killing his own platelets as well. He had less than a 15% chance of survival and he wasn't responding to the treatment for the IAHA.
I was faced with a tough decision. I didn't want to lose my best friend of the past 12 years, but I couldn't let him suffer. The rapid movement of his eyes was like Vertigo for him and causing him nothing but nausea. His whole world was spinning. I did the only loving thing I could do for Kobi. I said good-bye. I was with him for his last breath.
My heart aches, my head aches and I don't think I have a tear left. I feel such a void. I know I will have my memories and nothing can ever take those from me. I understand that it was his time. The pain will eventually subside and he will always be with me in spirit. For 12 years he gave me joy and unconditional love. And for 12 years he was my confidant, my companion, my little boy. I will forever miss him.
Here are a few of the posts I wrote this year about Kobi and the losses I have suffered. Thank you all for your support and love.
A Year of Trials and Tribulations
A Few ActiveRain Members Helped Me More Than a Support Bra Ever Could
"Oh! I Wish I Had a Longer Tongue!"
Surgery, Surgery and More Surgery!
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