PARAPROSDOKIANS...Winston Churchill loved them, you will too!

By
Title Insurance with Family Abstract, Inc.

PARAPROSDOKIANS...  Theyare figures of speech inFamily Abstract, Inc which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. 

At Family Abstract, we often start the list of something new and have clients, borrowers, sellers, realtors and their mortgage lenders add to our list, this month Paraprosdokians, when we got to 25, it was time to share.  We hope you enjoy them.  Please add to the comments any that you may come up with, let's see if we can get to 40.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 

26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

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Posted by

About Family Abstract, Inc.

Established in 2002, Family Abstract, Inc. provides Title Insurance to clients and customers throughout Florida, Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania with more than 40 years of combined experience in management alone. We pride ourselves on retaining the most skilled and knowledgeable employees who share our goals of providing the best service in the industry.

Located in Horsham, Pennsylvania, Family Abstract, Inc. maintains an extensive network of skilled title insurance abstractors in all the states we service in addition to a nationwide network of qualified closing agents who are available to close loans at any location.

Backed by the strength of four title insurance underwriters, we are able to provide expert attention to detail without sacrificing versatility in the closing process, thus providing more options in difficult title situations. Due to our depth of industry knowledge and commitment to excellent service, Family Abstract, Inc. has been able to develop client relationships that have endured for decades.

Having successfully settled and insured thousands of transactions, we have already earned the trust and confidence of hundreds of customers, lenders, brokers, and realtors and now we would like to share our expertise with you!

Comments (13)

Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

If only I could pronounce it Glenn...These are great-Love #2,3,4 and 13 and I promise that if I run across one, I'll be sure to wipe my feet? LOL

Feb 17, 2013 11:30 PM
Malcolm Johnston
Century 21 Lanthorn Real Estate LTD., Trenton, Ontario - Trenton, ON
Trenton Real Estate

Well there's a new word for my arsenal, I had not heard of  paraprosdokians before, and apparently neither has the spellcheck, haha. If I think of one I'll come back and post it. I have to learn to say it smoothly without tripping over the letters first.

Feb 17, 2013 11:31 PM
John McCormack, CRS
Albuquerque Homes Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me!

Good morning Glenn -

Looks like great minds are thinking on the fun side of Monday today but I like your take much better :)  No better way to begin a work day /  week than with a smile.  Too weeping and gnashing of teeth in life to have a little fun.... Hope you make it a great day ... You're off to a great start!

Feb 17, 2013 11:35 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

You have broken the code John, every day we make our choice.  Have a great week as well my friend!

Feb 17, 2013 11:39 PM
Roger D. Mucci
Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092 - Euclid, OH
Lets shake things up at your home today!

You just gave me 26 more reasons to add to the "why I like Glenn Freezman" list.  Love these!  

Feb 18, 2013 12:00 AM
Roger Stensland
Keller Williams Realty Puget Sound - Maple Valley, WA
Let's Move!

This was a lot of fun for a Monday morning.  Thanks.

Feb 18, 2013 12:07 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Joanna, Not a bad entry, I like it.

Malcolm, PARAH PRAAS Dock E AHNS.  Come in the Greek people have been putting upwith this many letters for years!  :)

Roger, Your the best!

Roger, you are very welcome!

 

Feb 18, 2013 12:31 AM
Sandy Padula and Norm Padula, JD, GRI
HomeSmart Realty West & Lend Smart Mortgage, Llc. - Carlsbad, CA
Presence, Persistence & Perseverance

A clean desk is a sign of a sick mind; but then I never said I was perfect!

Feb 18, 2013 01:29 AM
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

Glenn:  Sat here and tried to figure out which of these was my favorite.  Impossible .. and I couldn't do it!  Great way to start out the week ... so I SUGGESTED!!!

Gene

Feb 18, 2013 02:39 AM
Steven Cook
No Longer Processing Mortgages. - Tacoma, WA

Glenn -- thank you very much for expanding my vocabulary, providing some chuckles, and giving some great examples.  Now, off to see if I can find a few more.

Feb 18, 2013 02:44 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Norman comes up with 27!  Good one Norman, thanks!

Feb 18, 2013 02:46 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

George, ... When all else fails, Hit the Suggest button!  Have a great one, George!  and THANKS!!

Feb 18, 2013 02:47 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

COME ON sTEVEN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE GOING ON, RIGHT?

Feb 18, 2013 02:48 AM