TOP 10 Things Realtors Do NOT Want to Hear

Real Estate Agent 0582308

TOP 10 Things Realtors Do NOT Want to Hear


#10 After showing you for 3 say, "Oh yeah, my cousin is a Realtor. We just decided to have him write the contract for us - to save you some trouble."



#9 "I'm just going to sell it on my own."



#8 "So...basically...what I'm looking for is a 3 BR with 3 Bath, master bedroom next to the kitchen, pool - but not a kidney shaped pool - a rectangle pool...and I would like 2 acres but with a small yard feel...oh, and I want wood floors and granite - but not bigger than 1,000 sq feet... and no older than 6 months old. And I want the sellers to pay $10,000 towards my closing costs. And throw in the refrigerator -because I won't have one." tumblr_inline_mxndfb0CU11rs45jj



#7 "What's WRONG with our pineapple wall paper and entire, room-to-room wood paneling?"




#6 "You Realtors...must be nice not to have a "Real" job!"




#5 "It Didn't Appraise."




#4 At 6:00pm, sends 10 listings to you:  "I have about 10 houses I've picked out, can you show me all 10 of them tonight?"




#3 (nothing, no word from them - no response after showing for 3 months...... just vanished)




#2 "My regular agent couldn't make it today, so he just said to call you to show it once and if I like it, he'll take it from there."



#1 "My last agent couldn't sell it, and I felt like they didn't really earn their,  if you sell it, will you cut your commission?"

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Any Questions?  Comment?  Let me Know in the form below! We'll get back with you! Hope you've enjoyed a little Real Estate humor!


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Comments (126)

Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

Sellers/Buyers  should realize it's a partnership between the agent and the client.  Each has a part to make sure it's a successful transaction.  Unfortunately too many clients are dishonest or unwilling to respect us for the hard work we do

Feb 16, 2014 07:46 AM
Rafi Footerman
Mid Jersey Inspections - Edison, NJ
Home Inspector, Mold Inspector, Radon and More!

How about "my brother in Missouri thinks I'm paying too much for this house (in NJ)."

Feb 16, 2014 10:15 AM
Sharon Sanchez
Ace Home Realty - Carson, CA
Your Number "1" Source For Real Estate.

Nice humorous post!!!

Feb 16, 2014 01:22 PM
Marsha Cash
RE/MAX Advantage - Stockbridge, GA

One particularly hit home with me.  A while back I had an out of town couple looking in my area.  They would send me a list of 20 homes on Friday evening and want to see them Sat.  They were spread over several counties.  Because we were spending most of our time together driving, I commented nicely that if they could give me a little notice, I could have homes grouped together in each of the areas in which they were looking.  After that, I never heard from them again.  It seemed like a sensible request, delivered politely.  They must have taken it the wrong way.  

Feb 17, 2014 02:57 AM
John F Muscarella
Broker/Owner, Venice, FL, Florida's Suncoast

Ok Jamie, you nailed it with this one!  Great pick on the pics as well.  Perfect

Feb 17, 2014 04:26 AM
Michael Jobe
Coldwell Banker Howard Perry & Walston - Research Triangle Park, NC

This is absolutely classic blog material! I haven't laughed so much at a post in awhile. Thanks for this!

Feb 17, 2014 06:28 AM
Nancy Holloway
REgeneration Property Group 714.317.7140 - Anaheim, CA

Good One!  Good thing murder is illegal!  There were a couple of buyers over the years that were lucky to get back to their cars because I wanted to toss them out of mine half way through when I heard one of these.

Feb 17, 2014 06:47 AM
Jane Chaulklin-Schott
TEAMCONNECT REALTY - (407) 394-9766 - Orlando, FL
TeamConnect Luxury Homes - Orlando, Florida, 32836

Jamie, every time I need a chuckle I read your animated post. The pictures are the perfect expressions. Love them. How did you come up with this?

Feb 17, 2014 08:49 AM
Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities
Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

I'm wondering if I've been in this biz too long--I've been on the receiving end of at least 7 out of 10...

Feb 17, 2014 09:15 AM
Yvette Chisholm
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Rockville, MD
Associate Broker - Rockville, MD 301-758-9500

It is still funny after looking at it for the third time!  Thanks again for some entertainment and fun.

Feb 17, 2014 01:02 PM
Yvonne Wilder
Halter Associates Realty - Woodstock, NY

Gosh, I love this post!  Just re-read it again!  Need a laugh in the face of more snow ("Rex" this time).

It triggered another memory when I went through some of the new comments:

How about, "Yes, we bought privately at the market peak. {read 'we over payed'}  The house is great, it has a unique floor plan and a great back yard.  It is zoned commercial {it sits next to the rail yard and an active railroad track} so it has a lot LOT LOT of potential!  It is in great shape, we put a lot of money into upgrades and additions. {poor thing, why?}  The house is immaculate, I keep it really clean and neat and it does not smell. {3 kids, 5 mostly large dogs and 4 cats, plus they both work} We need to get out what we put in and make some profit now because we have debts to pay off and want to pay cash for an out of state house that is a real bargain. I dabbled in real estate when I was buying this house, so I'm sure I should get xyz for it now, it is really desirable and should sell fast. {really?  R U daft? this area lost over 30% of value in the crash; there are other houses - better, charming, better areas - near railroad tracks that have not sold for 5 years and the prices have tanked!}.

Sigh.  I think we have all heard them all, if you know what I mean.  We just choose to put them in the "dead files" of our brains so when we read a blog like yours they can be retrieved, shared and chuckled over. :)

Feb 17, 2014 08:34 PM
Jason Lindstrom
eXp Realty - Las Vegas, NV
Your Las Vegas Real Estate & Community Connection

Great post and so fun with the little video clips. Your tips are right on. Best of luck to you!


Feb 18, 2014 01:29 AM
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

We have all seen a few of these if not all of them.  Thanks for the post.

Feb 18, 2014 02:34 AM
Tamra Lee Ulmer
Arizona Resource Realty - Payson, AZ
NRBA ~FORCE~ Over 1000 REO Assets SOLD!

Very comical and entertaining. Thanks for the smile, Jamie!

Feb 18, 2014 04:16 AM
Dee Toohey
Innovative Realty Solutions Group - Longwood, FL
Broker, ABR, AHWD, CIPS, FMS, ePro

I always ask if they are working with a Realtor.  They say no.  Then some try the "my brother's mother-in-laws sister-in-laws brother-in-laws friend will write the contract".  Thankfully, it doesn't happen so often.  I let them know how we get paid.  Give them cards for builder reps and open houses.  That normally works. 

I love the FSBOs!  NOT!  Working 2 sides of the deal for the price of 1 is not my idea of fun.  I actually, don't do it.  I refer the FSBO sellers to an expensive real estate attorney.

Good blog!

Feb 18, 2014 04:17 AM
Jordan Gouger
Keller Williams Realty Inc. - Austin, TX
Helping you to achieve your housing goals!

Good blog, and I like the video clips!

Feb 18, 2014 06:45 AM
Lani Stern
Toronto, ON
Your lifetime agent

Hahaha What a great list you have here!

Feb 18, 2014 07:46 AM
Troy Erickson AZ Realtor (602) 295-6807
HomeSmart - Chandler, AZ
Your Chandler, Ahwatukee, and East Valley Realtor

Jamie, very funny. I think I have heard my clients say or do every one of these things. Sometimes you just have to laugh it off.

Apr 23, 2014 10:59 AM
Pete Xavier
Investments to Luxury - Pacific Palisades, CA
Outstanding Agent Referrals-Nationwide

Very funny, learned something from #124 "Send the FSBO sellers to an expensive real estate attorney" PRICELESS!  

Apr 28, 2014 09:16 AM
Wayne B. Pruner
Oregon First - Tigard, OR
Tigard Oregon Homes for Sale, Realtor, GRI

Great list. I especially like/dislike #2. I really hate it when you have Buyers with no money of their own that are using every first time home buyer program go out and buy a new car. Chances are they will not qualify any more.

Oct 04, 2014 02:58 AM