Take a Moment to Laugh. Real Quotes from Real People.

Services for Real Estate Pros with Kasteel Property Management - Property Manager DRE# 5495981-PB00



As in all professions, you come across some pretty funny things that people may say.  Some of it may only be funny from your own perspective, as the expert, and sometimes the other person just may be having an off day and are not thinking straight.  Either way I’ve kept some of my favorite quotes that I have come across over the years and wanted to share them.  These are tenants and applicants for rental homes:



1) “These carpets are so hard to keep clean.  The problem is the dirt from outside gets all over them.  In my opinion outside is dirty - it’s just dirty.  So can I get new carpet?”


2) “I shouldn’t have to pay for the postage to mail rent to you.  You should come pick it up each month.  I’m the tenant!”


3) Caller: We are looking for a place to live because we are getting evicted but the thing is we have 5 dogs and 2 cats and they are all inside animals.

Me: Well I don’t have any place that allows pets and you being evicted is a big red flag for me.

Caller: Why?

Me: Why what?  Why don’t I allow pets or why is your eviction a red flag?

Caller: Yeah why is the eviction a problem?

Me: Really?  You don’t understand why I’d be concerned about that?

Caller: Well, um - no.

*A short moment of silence*

Me: Well either way I don’t have any place that allows pets.  Good luck. (click)


4) Rental Application Question: Do you have pets?

Applicant Answer: “Yes, 2 hamsters – service animals.”


5) Answer on a rental application regarding source of income: “$220 Donating Plasma”


6) Maintenance request submitted online regarding their keyless, battery powered door lock, “We think the battery in the lock is going dead or something.  Can you bring us a battery?”


7) When talking on the phone to someone interested in a vacancy (Note it was the middle of September).

Me: It’s not available until October 1st.  Does that work for you?

Caller: Oh, I’m looking for something a little sooner.  Do you have something coming up this month or next month?

Me: Uummm, yes this one we’re talking about is available October 1st.  That’s in just a couple weeks.

Caller: Oh yeah sorry.

Me: Yeah the year is flying by we’re almost to October already.  October must be sneaking up on you.

Caller: No sorry I thought this was November.


8) A text I received from a tenant:

“Can I get your blood tomorrow morning?”

Second text:

“Sorry wrong person”


9) On a rental application:

Have you ever been arrested, accused, charged or convicted of any crime?


no felony's but last march (this was received in April) i was convicted of an assault charge, and i've also been convicted of disorderly contact, and a couple of alcohol consumptions as a minor, but just to let you know those charges were all due to my alcoholism.”



I hope you enjoyed these. I meant no offense by posting this.  I know over the years I’ve said many things that probably came across as incoherent, funny, or confusing when it wasn’t meant to be.  We all do it.  Sometimes it’s just good to laugh.


Kasteel Property Management - Loving those we work with and always finding the humer in everyday occurances.




Comments (3)

Cody Carmen
Adhi Schools, LLC - Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Market Analysis--Educational Content, Adhi Schools

Jeff Stinson some of these are pretty hilarious. Just a heads up, looks like you had a couple of formatting issues happen at the bottom with font. It happens to me all the time when I copy/paste. 

Jun 24, 2016 04:34 AM
Caron's Gateway Real Estate - Groveton, NH
Caron's Gateway Real Estate

Hi Jeff Stinson .   LOL     Wow, it's amazing how some people think.  The pet one and eviction and the alcoholic one,,,, I could go on and on.  LOL     Thank you for sharing, it sure made me laugh.  I hope you have a great weekend, take care  

Jun 24, 2016 06:10 AM
John Pusa
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Crest - Glendale, CA
Your All Time Realtor With Exceptional Service

Jeff Stinson Thans for the very funny quotes made me laugh.

Jun 24, 2016 10:46 AM