how to get out of a speeding ticket

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following
exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: This car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the
owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir, that's where I put it after I shot the owner of this
car and stuffed his body in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!

Driver: Yes sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was
quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver
to handle the tense situation. The Captain slowly approached the
driver...

Captain: Sir, can I see you license? Driver: Sure, here it is. It was
valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration card.

Captain: Could you slowly open the glove box so I can see if there's
a gun in there?

Driver: Yes sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there was a
body in it.

Driver: No problem.

The trunk is opened: no body.

Captain: I don't understand. The officer who stopped you said you
told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the
glovebox, and that there was a body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet he told you that I was speeding, too