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An open letter to the Ladies of AR

By
Real Estate Agent with Damon Gettier & Associates, REALTORS- Roanoke Va Short Sale Expert

I have been a Broker/Owner for almost 5 years now, I  have been a man for 37.  In that time there are certain things that I have learned from personal experiences and from business situations that I think needs to be shared. 

Several times a year I get a phone call or a knock on the office door and a "female" (Agent or Loan Officer) has a "serious problem".  The problem is always the same and the problem always starts the same.

The "female" agent or loan officer was at XYZ function (bar, restaurant, lunch, Gym, meeting, whatever) and this "guy" came over and introduced himself.  He was not too "pushy"  but was very insistent in learning everything about the "female" and ended up asking the "female" to function (bar, restaurant, meeting, lunch, whatever) when the 'female' responds that "female" is:

A) not looking to date anyone,

B) married

C) dating someone

the "guy" than is "slightly offended" and responds that he had no such intentions that he was only looking at friendship. 

This is when the "serious problem" comes to fruition!  "Female" goes to function with "male" and "male" makes moves that suggest "friends" is not what he has on his mind.  If "female" is lucky she can readdress the fact that she is not looking for A, B, or C stated above and that is the end of that....but you see....this "male" we are talking about is not a normal "male".....do you want to know why?  Because NORMAL MALES DO NOT SEE A WOMAN AND THINK, "GEE.....I BET SHE WOULD MAKE A REALLY GREAT FRIEND....I THINK I WANT TO GET TO KNOW HER!!!!" 

These guys are the 20% that make the other 80% look bad. 

Ladies, please......I know of no one who has a "friend" that they picked out of a crowd, on a sidewalk, in a bar, at a restaurant, at a meeting...and walked up to for the sole purpose of "making a friend".

And Ladies, please.....when that "guy" walks up to you, please look him in the eye and just say NO! Please do not make up excuses about you have to do this or that...that you would love to but....just SAY NO!  If he says he just wants to be friends he is a FREAK! Unfortunately if you do not say NO...these guys think you are up to playing the game they are playing!

Sorry for the rant but really....."guys" are that simple....he did not notice your charming personality from across the room....he doesn't want to know your mind....he just wants.......

Posted by

Damon Gettier, Broker/Owner RE/MAX 1st REALTY --ABR, ABRM, CDPE, ePRO, GRI, SRES, AHWD,  VA Licensed Real Estate Instructor

Buyer and Seller Representation

Roanoke Virginia Foreclosure Agent

Roanoke Virginia REO Agent

Roanoke Short Sale Listing Agent

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2235 Colonial Ave Roanoke VA 24015

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Comments(8)

Tammy Woodin
Bellingham, WA
Sudden Valley, Washington

Sorry for the rant but really....."guys" are that simple....he did not notice your charming personality from across the room....he doesn't want to know your mind....he just wants.......

Just common sense, isn't it? Now, don't you wonder why they come to you with this "serious problem"?

Aug 28, 2009 08:51 AM
Claudette Millette
The Buyers' Counsel - Ashland, MA
Buyer, Broker - Metrowest Mass

Damon:

You need to see the film "When Harry Met Sally," 1989 - Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal. Older folks than you, but I think still appropriate. 

Aug 28, 2009 09:37 AM
Damon Gettier
Damon Gettier & Associates, REALTORS- Roanoke Va Short Sale Expert - Roanoke, VA
Broker/Owner ABRM, GRI, CDPE

Tammy- Yes, I would think it is common sense but how many times do you have to tell someone something?  I would think that by the time women graduated college they would get men.  Unfortunately there have been some seriously dangerous situations over the years. If women are not interested they need to forget about not being rude and get the point across that they are not interested whatsoever in the advances.

Claudette- I have seen "When Harry Met Sally" and I agree completely!  I think I am going to buy a copy and make it required reading for some particular individuals.  I think part of it is that some women are taught to be sweet and nice in all situations when a good firm slap in the face would be a better answer!

Aug 28, 2009 10:31 AM
Judy Schneider
eXp Realty - Bellingham, WA

Damon,

Most girls are not that worried about telling any man they are not interested in, the word NO!! Are you sure these girls are not just trying to get you to come to the rescue to get your attention! Ladies are smarter than you think, and often not so simple! LOL!

Enjoy your weekend!

Judy

Aug 28, 2009 02:58 PM
Damon Gettier
Damon Gettier & Associates, REALTORS- Roanoke Va Short Sale Expert - Roanoke, VA
Broker/Owner ABRM, GRI, CDPE

Judy, I would love to think that this is the case but to be honest with you, I don't  think so.  I don't know how many times over the years this story has repeated itself.  I think maybe they like to think that people are honest and good for the most part...and for the most part people are....it is just that the ones who are so forward usually are not.  JMO

Aug 28, 2009 03:28 PM
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

HMMM...I guess I haven't had that problem as of yet.  Cross my fingers!

Sep 01, 2009 02:45 PM
Satar Naghshineh
Satar - Amiri Property and Financial Services Corp. - Irvine, CA

It seems like you fault us guys. While true, I never wanted to be friends with any women, women know what is going on and use their looks to attract business and opportunities. You make them out to be naive. Chivary is dead (and thank God).

Generally speaking (of course)! ;)

 

 

Sep 06, 2009 01:46 PM
Renée Donohue~Home Photography
Savvy Home Pix - Allegan, MI
Western Michigan Real Estate Photographer

I used to work at the Hard Rock and if I had a dollar for everytime I was picked up :eyeroll:  At any rate I would politely tell them I was happily married and some of the responses were actually hilarious!  Guys would ask if my husband needed someone to mow the lawn or clean the pool.

It was fun and I guess I don't purposely put myself in those situations BUT I know how to get out of them in the event I find myself in one!

Sep 07, 2009 07:56 AM