So, as you know we live in the bible belt here on Joyful Place and all the women bake or have their kids bake varities of Christmas cookies that they send to us poor folks who think cookies come in packages as a small gesture of good will. Sooooo, my darling Joe Joe man ( my sisters better half ) decides that this year we will bake four (YES FOUR) different varieties of cookies to share at Christmas. As you also know he is the fastest of the fastest and I will share with you yesterdays festivities.
First I looked up Christmas cookies under the google of VERY EASY Christmas cookies. I found FOUR, Yes FOUR and printed them off and made a shopping list. We had not one ingredient in our vegan home so the Fred Meyer bill was HUGE. We could have catered a four course meal for the entire street for the price of the ingredients. We had to buy things Joe Joe said we didn't need like wire wracks for cooling, more cookies sheets (we have one), a cookie drop instrument and the list goes on. Before we left for the store I had Joe check for some basics like vanilla which he says yep and holds it in his hands.
Soooo, home from shopping Joe man brings in the supplies to discover that he had left the wire wracks on the grocery cart. Not to worry he says, My Mom always put them on kitchen towels. I tried to no avail talk about sweating cookies and that argument went no where. Then when I went to get out the ingredients he has mistook lemon extract for vanilla, so we started out by sending him back to the store. Fresh with all ingredients we start to put them together deciding to make the easiest first (sugar cut outs) and Joe dumps the sugar in with the flour so we threw that out as the sugar goes in with the butter and other wet ingredients.
We successfully blend the mess together and put in the refrig and after 30 minutes attempted to roll it out. My rolling pin has no sock nor do we own a pastry cloth. Joe says no problemo and he dumps flower all over the island granite and rolls out the dough. It is supposed to be 1/8th think, but it constantly broke apart so he makes it 1/4th at which time the dough is sticking all over the counter and will not go into the brand spanking new cookie cutters. Back to the refrigerator goes the dough and I convince him we need the cutting board with flour which still didn't prevent most of the dough to stick to the rolling pins.
Finally we get enough cookies cut out and onto the cookie sheets and into the oven. After 10 minutes they looked like Pillsbury dough boy rolls instead of cookies. Not to have our spirits dampened we take the smashed lifesavers (this recipe calls for that for sprinkles) and they were supposed to press into the warm cookies and stay put. When you press on one of these dough boy cookies they deflate like an old woman's breast with one or two candied pieces sticking and the rest dusting across the room.
The best part is how bad they tasted, not to even mention how bad they look. Dough that has been rerolled fourteen times with a half a lb of flour to keep from sticking somehow takes the flakiness right out of the cookie. I did have a thousand laughs and the best part is that Joe and I and every surface of the kitchen was covered in flour and every bowl we owned was in the sink.
This morning Joe is undaunted and ready to attempt the more difficult recipes while we are still fresh. I hope the neighbors have a VEry GOOD sense of humor. Be thankful you don't live close or Joe would get you some of these as well.
Have a great day!!!
Sheri Rowe
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