Why did my friend hire someone else?

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This week we have the outstanding entrepreneur, Jennifer Allan, who has published two books and contributed to The CE Shop course "Selling to Your Sphere of Influence." You can learn more about Jennifer by visiting her personal website: SellWithSoul.com.

by: Jennifer Allan, GRI, Author of Sell with Soul & If You're Not Having Fun Selling Real Estate, You're Not Doing it Right

**sob** Why Did My Friend Hire Someone else? Oh, let me count the reasons...

Ooooooh... it hurts. It hurts a lot. When someone you know hires someone other than wonderful YOU to represent them in the purchase or sale of a home.

It's painful - I know it is. I've been there and, especially in my first few years, was devastated every time it happened. So I get it. I understand why it can ruin your day. Especially if that paycheck would have reeeeeealy come in handy right about now.

But you know what? When it happens, it's almost never personal. Seriously. No, I'm not saying that "business is business - get over it" - I'm saying that the person who hired someone else probably had no idea it would bother you. They didn't select AGAINST you, they picked someone else! There's a big difference!!!!

Of course, sometimes it is personal. Sometimes you were selected against (but this is rare, I promise you). When that's the case, you have two choices. You can either be mad at the person for "betraying" their "obligation" to you or you can ask yourself why they felt someone else was a better choice. I vote for Option B. Look in the mirror, take the blame. Strive to improve.

It's also possible that the person is just a jerk and hired someone else to hurt you, I really doubt it. That's a pretty self-absorbed viewpoint, as if this other person's world revolves around you. But if that's the case, well, then that's a friend you really don't need to worry much about, right?

So, what are some reasons a friend or acquaintance might either

1. Pick someone else, or
2. NOT pick you?

I'll start:

Reasons a friend or acquaintance might pick someone else to be their Reeee-la-tor:

1. They forgot you sell real estate
2. Their best friend just got her real estate license
3. They met a real estate agent at an open house and really liked him
4. They called on a For Sale sign and really hit it off with the listing agent
5. They're buying in a specific neighborhood and want to work with the neighborhood expert
6. The agent they hired promised them a commission rebate
7. The husband's boss's wife is a real estate agent, and he wants to kiss up

Reasons a friend or acquaintance might not pick YOU:

1. They don't want to share their financial information with someone they know
2. They thought you specialized in a different part of town
3. They had a bad experience with another agent in your company
4. They worked with another agent in your company in the past and would feel bad hiring you instead of them.
5. They know too much about your personal life and doubt your stability (ouch)
6. They think you work in higher price ranges and wouldn't be interested in their piddly little deal.
7. They know several real estate agents and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so they hired a stranger

What’s the punch line? Unless you have concrete knowledge that someone set out to deliberately hurt you, assume the best. There might be a future referral in it for you!

Jennifer is a former top producing real estate broker, a published author, a speaker and a trainer. She has written five books about the business of selling real estate, including her flagship book: Sell with Soul: Creating an Extraordinary Career in Real Estate without Losing Your Friends, Your Principles or Your Self-Respect. Jennifer sold real estate successfully for twelve years in Denver, Colorado.

From her first day on the job, she resisted the efforts of her company trainers, her broker and her fellow agents to persuade her to implement the "traditional" real estate prospecting techniques of cold calling, FSBO hunting, door knocking and geographic farming. Instead, she focused her business building efforts on the people she already knew, or the people she met. Without ever pestering a soul, she built a business based nearly 100% from business and referrals generated from her sphere of influence. Jennifer is a regular columnist at Realty Times and other real estate media outlets, a member of the RE/MAX Hall of Fame, and is one of the industry`s most popular bloggers. You can read more about Jennifer`s philosophies at www.sellwithsoul.com.

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