Help Wanted: A Realtor for REO properties, by Fannie Mae*
I read this and really enjoyed the humor in it. If you have ever considered buying bank owned properties, read this, because it is a true depiction of the process.
Fannie Mae, one of the country's largest owners of REO (Real Estate Owned) aka, Foreclosed properties, seeks a Realtor to handle its massive portfolio of distressed properties. The following qualities are required for consideration:
- Never show a current picture of the property on the exterior. It must be AT LEAST 2-5 years old.
- Make sure you use the lowest quality camera, preferably the disposable type purchased at CVS or a similar store.
- If you do take interior pictures (which we actually do not prefer) please make them as blurry and dark as possible and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, take more than 5 photos.
- Make sure you leave most MLS fields blank when possible. Specifically: the appliances, distance to public transportation, schools, property management contacts and numbers and any other fields that might actually make the property appealing to buyers.
- It is very important that you always put the wrong number of bedrooms and or bathrooms For example, if it is a 2 bedroom condo, please list it as a 1 bedroom. This is essential to our goal of having properties sit on the market for months and never sell.
- Always put the wrong condo fee and ameneties in those fields. Ideally, make the fee higher than it really is and list as few ameneties as possible (see above goal statement).
- When an interested agent calls or emails you, tell them as little information as possible. You must be confusing, contradictory and preferably rude (rudeness is a bonus).
- The ability to never write a compelling description of the property in the MLS, make it as brief and uninteresting as possible, grammatical errors are a bonus.
- Under no circumstances shall these properties be marketed in blogs, ads, virtual tours or videos.
- No brochures or MLS printouts are to ever be put in the properties.
This position offers a guaranteed portfolio of at least 20 listings at a time, very competive commission rates (at least 6% total, often 7% total) and no requirement to ever show the property.
Please send your resume to: reosfordays@fnm.rest. A real estate license is required but please, no Brokers, GRI's or CRS's will be considered.
*Disclaimer: This is not an actual ad, rather a satirical look at the condition and presentation of some of these type of properties. If you are currently an agent for Fannie Mae, please do not take offense, this is meant to be funny and not an accurate representation of all FM listings or agents.
Coral Gundlach, CRS
Realtor serving Arlington, Alexandria, Annandale, Vienna, Falls Church, Fairfax and Loudoun County Virginia
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