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I vow to never be too busy for my family

The other day I overheard a conversation about a teen who is on drugs and out of controll. I heard how you would never guess
that by looking at his rather successful mother. The conversation went on about how much the boy's mother worked and it was
the price she paid for her great success. As I listened I discovered that the conversation was about a local Realtor's son.
A Realtor that is at the top of the list for annual sales.

This made me think...Wow, is my child going to suffer if I become an A-lister? Am I going to be there when my daughter
needs me the most? Currently, she is 8 and she plans to follow my foot steps and become a Realtor. She already assists
me from time to time by helping me prepare for open houses, and by sitting at my desk playing computer games while I meet
with clients. Last week, she got all dressed up on open house day and came to hand out fliers to all the people
who came to view the property.

What is going to happen when she gets a little older and decides it's lame being mom's "assistant".

Currently, it is pretty easy for me to make family time since I am NOT an A-lister, but there are times where I get pretty
busy. My family never seems to suffer too badly. Here are a few rules I am going to always try to stick by:

I always make it for dinner with my family. Dinner may not always be at the same time every evening, but we have it together. If I don't cook it, we go out to eat. Sometimes we have to take separate cars, but we get there. And lucky for me, I have a husband that knows how to cook. Studies show that families that have dinner together regularly have less problems in the long run.

There is a certain point when I have to turn my phone off!! You all know there are people that call several times a day and need you more than others. I love being able to be there for my clients, but there is a line that needs to be drawn. You cannot truly focus on your family if your phone is hanging out of your ear so if it is important to be 100% focused on your family, turn it off. Turn it back on in an hour--guess what!! There is such a thing as voice mail. This does not just apply to family but for your own sanity as well. I tease my partner for taking her cell in the gym with her. It's only an hour-leave it in the car, and return any missed calls when you finish. Your client will wait--believe me, they will!! I also turn my phone off at bedtime, and turn it back on when I am awake and ready for the day...If you can't turn it off any other time, at least turn it off at bedtime..you deserve it.

Remember who writes your schedule. I spent 20 years in the grocery business with someone else writing my schedule. It is so nice to be able to attend every school function, or to accompany my husband to something that is important to him. Take advantage of it!! I write down all special events in my day planner and treat it like any other appointment. I have not lost a single potential client by doing so. You are a professional, expect to be treated like a professional. You don't tell your dentist when you are coming in, they tell you when to come in.

Most important(to me) I involve my family. As I mentioned at the beginning, my daughter enjoys being my assistant. She loves to come to the office. She gets jobs like shredding papers, or putting together folders for me. If I need to pick up or place signs, she loves to come and help put them in the ground. Stuffing envelopes is another favorite job. I go and knock on doors quite often..she likes to come with me if it is to just go for the ride, and play video games in the car..If she wants to sit in the car..so be it..I'll take her as long as she wants to. Some day she may be too busy for me.

I haven't quite managed keeping the house work in check..I'm teaching my daughter to do some tasks that I think she would be good at..(it's like pulling teeth) But If she would kick in a little, I'll have even more time for her...

Posted by Shari George on 02/26/2007 12:54 AM

Comments (29)

29 Comments on I vow to never be too busy for my family

FEB

2007

Shari..... excellent post and thanks for sharing. I agree... making time with family, especially for dinner time. I am not married nor any kids, but I remember waiting for my dad most times, so we all could sit down for dinner as a family. I think it's very important, to make time.

I love how your daughter helps out. Don't worry as she grows up, she'll do fine. If you make real estate look fun at the same time, then maybe she will continue in your footsteps as she gets older. Again, thanks for sharing this.

Thanks, Jeff!! I just see so many agents who work, work, work!! It's especially hard for those who are single parents. I'm so blessed to have a helpful hubby!!

I hope that Kaitlynn will keep wanting to help, I enjoy having her!

There is nothing more important in life than FAMILY. Family is really the only constant in life, they will always be family. Friends, clients, listings, will come and go but you will have family all the time. It doesn't matter if you are single or have been married 20 plus years, you always need to have that family time. When i first started out a couple of years ago I was spending all my waking time working on real estate. My family was hurting. My wife was giving me a hard time and the kids were just about ignoring me. It didn't matter to them how many listings I had or how many buyers I was working with. They just wanted some time to spend with thier hsband and dad. I now make it a point to shut off my cell phone after 6 pm and what makes it even better it all my clients understand due the fact that I am up front about my "available" hours. Every other business in America has set hours of business. Why can't we? I do make exceptions for some clients to meet in the evening, but this is rare and my family is alot more understanding about that issue. Again, we always have family.

Shari, excellent post...a good reminder to us all about the benefits of a flexible schedule as well as the possible pitfalls.

In other words, you need to set your boundaries also. Family comes first, most everyone agrees with that statement. That said I've seen only a few that live it.

Cheers, -B

Shari, wonderful! I seem to be at about the same place as you professionally. (not an A-lister but reaching) I remind myself all the time of the same things. Making time for family is crucial. Great post.

you are right and your priorities are in the rightplace. It can be very lonely at the top if you dont have a family to share it with. As we head into a busy spring :-) we all need to be reminded WE run OUR business and CAN control our schedules. It takes organization and more than that- the ability to say no.

My kids stay involved with my work & my husbands work so they understand how the meals make it to the table, but remember that doesnt register with their little minds until they are adults and gently pushed into the career world.

Additionally, regarding the drugs and teens...there are studies that find kids that stay active (sports are great) are much less likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors. (drugs and sex ). Encouraging the kids to participate in school sports, activities like band and drama allows them to build self esteem .

Kids that we call latch key- coming home to no supervision for several hours a day- tend to search for something to fill their boredom or low self esteem.

My favorite quote that I think you will like:

"To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Family will be there (or COULD be there) long after the real estate business. Good for you for keeping your priorities straight, and coming up with a plan.

Great Post Shari! We should never lose sight at the real reason we work so hard. It is for our "Family"!

i think it is very important to do this, you have to make time for yourself and your family. I make it a point to schedule all my family activities into my calender way ahead of time and I dont break those appointments. There is plenty of time in a day for clients and its so important for your family to feel the benefits of your job, which the most important thing is that being a Realtor you schedule your time.

And you told me you had run out of things to blog about....were you teasing me??? :-) Great post Shari and very, very well thought out. Something that hit home with me as well about 4 years ago.

Shari-

Great post. I wrote a post last Monday on feeling torn between work and home. This weekend was spent with my family and I came into the office early this morning feeling completely refreshed.

I love your post! At some point you have to step back and decide what your true priorities are.

I always give my 1yr old son his bath... ALWAYS... and I alwayas wake up with him and feed him his breakfast and give my wife an extra hour or hour and a half sleep.

Family is most important.....I enjoy being with my 12 yr old daughter at the end of a school day and get a kick out of her stories for the day. Without family, I don't have anything!

Patricia Aulson/SEACOAST REALTOR/NH & ME

Thanks for sharing some valuable advice, Shari. While there are no guarantees that doing all this will prevent a son or daughter from getting in trouble. I think we know pretty well that NOT doing these things will lead to problems. I've seen it many times myself, more so when in the corporate world when your life is the company's. Finding time for yourself and you family was critical, whenever you could. And there were times when it simply was impossible to do everything you wanted or needed to do. Having dinner together,making it to your kid's events (even if only one parent), etc. means so much...and years later you find out from your grown kids how much this all really did mean to them, and how they now understand (since they are working full-time, etc) what you went through.

Thanks again for writing this - it is something we all need to keep in mind about balancing work and personal life, whether we have children, are married, or not.

Jeff

You rock! Keep your balance. If you are consistent and loving, your children will be a blessing to you and all others. When the day comes that you are able to be there because of an "emergency", you will be remembered for your good points.

Quality of life is so important and that includes balance of priorities. Thanks for a great post.

Shari, it's so great to see that you've made your family a priority. That's really all it takes. Many people never have time for their family because they're "too busy." Fact is, it's just not a big enough priority to schedule everything else around it. I personally schedule my family events, functions, time etc, just like I would schedule a business appointment. If a client calls and wants to meet with me Tuesday @ 7 and I already have time blocked out on my schedule for my family, I just have to schedule a different time with the client. After all, the whole reason I'm in business is for my family and if it weren't for my family, I wouldn't be able to do what I do. They're a tremendous support system, so shouldn't they be my top priority? Way to go. Keep taking care of that daughter of yours and you most likely won't have to worry about the problems you mentioned at the beginning of the post.

Heath and family first. I've always been a strong believer of this rule because without either one what are you working for and how are you going to enjoy it?

Hi Shari,

It's refreshing to hear a post of someone who truly does have her priorities straight! Being a mom with three daughters is not always an easy job for me. It is however, the most rewarding one. My family knows that they ALWAYS come first! You lead by example.

Shari- It's all about priorities. My extended family is a priority for me too. There has to be a balance between work and family otherwise both will suffer. My friend told me a quote before I got into this business - I work to live... not live to work! And I too schedule events into my calendar. (my nephews soccer games- there, their school pagents- there, family dinner every Thursday night at 5pm- there!) Keep your balance. Your life will be far richer for it. Great post!

Shari, have you ever read a blog and felt like you were right there with that person who wrote it? Well you hit this one right on the head. Great post. Thank you for sharing with us. Will be watching for more.

You are on the right track. I don't think at the end of one's day - the regret would be that the house wasn't as clean as it could have been -- however, one may regret losing the time with their children and family (so long as the family is not one like in "little miss sunshine"!)

Shari - this is one of the main reasons I like you so much, your devotion and commitment to your family! Nice job well done!

Wow!! Thank you all for the positive support!! I thought of you all as I was eating with my family tonight!!

FEB

2007

LOL. Good for you Shari!

MAR

2007

Wonderful post! Your family is fortunate to have a mom with priorities in order! You follow my "win" principle: WIN= What's Important Now

Sounds like you have a good balance; and are enjoying it all. Much continued success to you, your family and your career.

MAY

2007

Great post, thanks for sharing. Family is everything.

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