Note: I'm often inspired to write new posts by comments from readers of previous posts. This post was inspired by Anna Banana Kruchten CRS, Phoenix Broker's comment on my last post, "Resilience." - Aura Alex.
"If something is important enough, you should try even if the probable outcome is failure." ― Elon Musk
Regret: Some people always dreamed of living bold, adventurous lives filled with risk-taking and uncertainty. But never did. Then one day, they woke up and realized that it was too late.
Failure: We often define failure as a lack of success. We tie failure to our sense of self-worth, and it is difficult to accept failure as part of success. Failure affects our self-esteem, and we feel as if we are not good enough or don't have what it takes to succeed.
We're ultimately talking about fear—the fear of trying (regret) versus the fear of doing(failure).
Are you the type who's prone to charge off and try something new, blazing trails and exploring uncharted horizons? Or are you the type who wants to do those things but allows the fear of trying to hold you back?
The bold explorers feel fear too. They believe their anxiety is one of failure. The fear of doing something but not doing it well enough. Of reaching much farther than their grasp extends and not finding anything to hold onto en route.
In our society, we like a winner, so we don't spend much time thinking about the failures and "also-rans," but what happens to them after a loss?
Essentially, that's a function of the person's character who failed. In some cases, these dauntless explorers get up, dust themselves off, and try again. These folks are destined to succeed because they don't let failures stop or define them.
In other cases, the perceived loss of status caused by an epic failure injects such shame and loss of self-esteem that the person will shut down instantly and, in most cases, irrevocably move to that other category and never dare to try or strive again.
Failure
The fear of failure is immediate and, at times, an almost suffocating visceral something.
The fear of doing is reasonable, or at least it can be, so long as it's not paralyzing. That kind of fear brings your senses more fully awake and alive.
The great thing about the fear of doing is also transitory. Solve enough of the problems before you, and the fear goes away because you ultimately succeed. Don't solve enough problems before you and the fear still goes away (because you fail), leaving wisdom in its place and an understanding of things to do differently "next time."
Regret
The fear of regret is a slow, creeping, hidden feeling you won't notice right away. It's easy to miss it as you live your safe life and not take chances, but the day will come when you pause to reflect. When you look back over the path you have traveled and take note of the missed opportunities, you will carry the weight of those regrets with you for a very long time.
So, which of the two kinds of fear is worse. You can overcome the fear of doing by doing. And doing some more. However, fear of trying is the kind that doesn't go away. Worse, it gets heavier and harder to bear the more times you allow opportunities to pass you by. The burden gets more pronounced until you become a shell of your former self, lost in the world of "might have been."
What's the worst that will happen? Will you fail? Will you get hurt? Yes. You might, but you might also succeed in ways beyond your imagination!
Your next big adventure awaits. All you have to do is start moving toward it!
"I can accept failure; everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying." Michael Jordan
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