First of Many Rites of Passage

Ok so I am crying my eyes out- I can't believe our baby goes to school- And Fran and Don were so kind! Fran wrote a blog about randoms acts of kindness- there are these acts right here on Active Rain- Totally moving!

Becky - a wonderful and terrifying adventure, for all of you. You are fortunate to be near so much support and Nathan is fortunate to have such a great family.

Becky - well that goes without saying

Becky, I was moved by your post. I look at my kids (25 & 26) and count the rights of passage I have seen through their lives. We, as parents, are blessed everyday. Thank-you Becky for reminding me...

Becky,

My daughter has down syndrome, she is 7.  She started receiving the therapies at home almost immediately after she was born, (I found out when I was 2 1/2 months pregnant).  She transitioned to the type of program your son is in when she turned 3.  Her progress was amazing and I think much of it was helped along by her getting to interact with other kids.  When your son starts kindergarten, you'll go through this  again.  My concern was if the "normal" kids would pick on her, but they have an amazing capacity for understanding she just needs a little extra time.  We are lucky that we live in a time when the differences in our children have been better researched and there are wonderful programs like First Steps and Early Intervention to help them (and us).  And children, for the most part, are being taught to embrace differences instead of ridicule them.  (I still cringe when I hear people calling each othe "retards".          BTW your son is absolutely adorable!

Hi Becky,  Your post is very uplifting and full of hope !  And isn't that little guy handsome !

Hi Becky,

Congratulations to you and to Nathan on your achievements.  Sounds to me like a celebration is in order!  One of the many amazing things about life is the way that great challenges often come with great gifts as your son demonstrates.

Take care, help lots of people and have a wonderful day!

Tisza

I wish they could find out the cause of Autism.  Thankfully, your precious little guy has had lots of  intervention.  I hope for the best for your family.

Oh Becky,

He will do great (better than you will probably- I cried like a baby when my first went off to school!) Come to think of it Dan starts college Monday and I may cry again.  Pass the tissues and enjoy your special time with Andrew.

Becky - All three of my sons are considered "special."  The eldest in now 11 and is doing great!  No more special ed, just a few resources here and there in school when he needs it.  (This is the one we were told would never be able to graduate high school  Now, with some effort, he earns mostly A's and B's)

My youngest two are 5 and 7.  The doctors are currently investigating if they are autistic.  It looks like they probably will be diagnosed as such, among other things.  Right now they're both labeled as having "severe global delays."  Both went through the early intervention programs, and both went through the pre-school programs - my youngest will be staying an extra year in the pre-school program to try to give him some time to catch up.

The pre-school programs, when run well, are FANTASTIC!  Just keep an eye on them in the beginning, until you are comfortable, to make sure all is well.  While we are still struggling with severe delays, I have no doubt in my mind that these programs are the reason why my sons have come as far as they have.  The teachers tell me it's because of the parents, but I tell the teachers the progress is all due to them...

We have had one problem in the past - in our old school system - where one of my sons wasn't receiving the services he needed.  Just keep an eye out and be your son's advocate.  It's easier than you think!  Once I found my voice for my kids, all has been great.  (If the problem with the school is severe and they won't fix it, complain to the state.  Wow, that gets things taken care of!)

Oh - one word of warning:  If your son is anything like mine, for a week or two he will go to school without an issue - happy as can be and all smiles.  You'll be crying, but he'll be all fine and dandy.  Then, after a week or two, it all changes and he will go off to school kicking and screaming and crying and yelling...

Let it go.  It only lasts a week or two.  It's their way of suddenly realizing, "Wait, I'm not with my parent any more!"  It passes.  They stop crying once they get into the classroom and begin their daily routine with the other children.  Meanwhile, you'll be crying and pulling your hair out and worrying that you are the worst parent in the world and how the heck could you abandon your child like this?

Trust me.  Been there.  Done that.  The guilt is harsh.  But it passes!

Best of luck.  It is all worth it!

Becky - as parents, we do become the experts - we're the ones who deal with it every moment of every day and aren't afraid to share what works and what doesn't work and how to get through each day!!

Like I said, with only one exception, the schools have been fantastic.  I'm sure yours will be just as great.  Most of the teachers are there because they WANT to be there.  They will take care of your son.  My youngest is also happiest sitting in a corner playing by himself.  They make sure that isn't all he does.  His socialism has definitely improved because of the school - well, because of the teachers.

This will be my fifth year with a child in the pre-school program.  We were upset when our middle son moved on to kindergarten...we'll be upset when our youngest moves on to kindergarten, too!

Just another thought:  They do seem to work differently with the 3 year olds then the 4 year olds.  They will work for more growth from the 4 year olds, and rightfully so - they are not only working on their development, but also on their kindergarten readiness.  We only see improvement in spurts - months of nothing new and then all of a sudden - whoa - who taught this boy to speak?
If there is any doubt about whether or not to move forward into kindergarten, then spend another year in the pre-school.  We made that mistake with our middle son and moved him forward.  We're now having to retain him in 1st grade again this year.  We learned - we're holding our youngest back in pre-school for the third year.

Just remember:  They do so much better, they learn so much more, and they socialize so much better in the pre-school program then they do inthe in-home programs. I've always found the in-home programs to be severely lacking.

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