Ironically I recently discovered I was not the only soul in Boston, that felt like being stranded on a deserted island. A close friend moved to Boston from NYC yes Manhattan. And asked "What do you do besides work? I replied the usual shopping, running errands and venturing to the occasional yoga class when time allowed. Well, after 10 days of each others companionship while her furniture was being delivered and the finishing touches applied to her condo. Oh, did I forget to mention she was a house guest during this time. She casually mentioned " You know so many people, how come you don't hang out with them? I thought about the question before offering a reply. Then I responded with " Like you I'm not a native of Boston although for the past 10 years since I returned from Canada, I've lived in 3 communities Salem, Swampscott and Burlington MA most of the people in my circle are either Realtors, Home Appraisers, Home Inspectors, Real Estate Attorneys and past clients. I shamefully had to admit I don't know anyone that shares my outside interests.
She was silent for a moment and then said " I lived in Manhattan for the past 15 years and within that time I have hundreds of friends there. She continued to add that although Manhattan is busy and to an outsider it seems cold and unfriendly. The truth is that people in NYC love to socialize. It's very common to dine out 7 days a week and spend hours if not days shopping the many stores and boutiques scattered over the island. So why is it so difficult to do the same in Boston?
Perhaps, you noticed what we started to notice over the proceeding days. Bostonians tend to do the same thing day in and day out. Especially if your single, between 25 - 40 yrs old. You develop a routine. When you need cloths you go to the mall, when you need food you go to the local grocery mega store and when you need to socialize you find yourself at the mercy of friends from the office and pray they have time to join you for one. Before rushing home to their families. Oh and my all time favorite. They set you up with a "Friend"
This is not a cure but a bandage on a broken leg. Now, don't get me wrong it's great if you like to live in a cocoon. Yes, I said cocoon! Think about it... we do it everyday. We screen our calls with caller ID, we screen our mail, we screen our email and direct any unknown email to spam. We like in gated communities or have garages so people even our neighbors don't know if we're home or not. If we go to bars we give fake names and phone numbers to people we're not interested in that waste hours of our time trying to woo us. Then we complain we don't have any friends.
As you can see this is a double edge sword, so how do we cure this? Meetup.com Yes, here is the answer. If you have an interest in Horses, Dogs, Spiritual Growth, Knitting, Scuba Diving, Shopping, Dance, Business Networking, Gardening or what ever...this is the place. It's not like "My Space" or "Face book" that are only on-line to help you connect with people you already know it's a site that you can actually join for Free and based on your interest attend a local meeting. Even if you just like to do Sunday brunch but don't like to do it alone. They have a group of folks that do it and you can also attend and learn about Local Restaurants that you may have never visited otherwise.
Please understand this is simply my opinion of a resource I found extremely useful in making lasting friendships and perhaps it's not for you. But if of my clients said they were tired of spending too much time alone and they wanted to expand their horizions I would absolutely recommend this site. But if your not that adventurous there are some great local magazines "the Improper Bostonian" and the "Boston Magazine"
If you know of another way for new comers to Boston to grow their social network, please add to this post.
Best wishes,
Lisa
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