A man's guide to PMS

Real Estate Agent with Success Realty Inc. 0528964
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands.This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

   DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
   SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
   SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
   ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

   DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
   SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
   SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
   ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

   DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
   SAFER: What did I do wrong?
   SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
   ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

   DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
   SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
   SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
   ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

   DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
   SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
   SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
   ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

   13 Things PMS Stands For:
   1.   Pass My Shotgun
   2.   Psychotic Mood Shift
   3.   Perpetual Munching Spree
   4.   Puffy Mid-Section
   5.   People Make me Sick
   6.   Provide Me with Sweets
   7.   Pardon My Sobbing
   8.   Pimples May Surface
   9.   Pass My Sweatpants
   10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
   11. Plainly, Men Suck
   12. Pack My Stuff......

   ..And my favorite one...

   13.  Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a
good laugh...or men who need a warning.  J  And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

   Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood
swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.  Here, have some chocolate.

Comments (20)

Sean Allen
International Financing Solutions - Fort Myers, FL
International Financing Solutions

Hey Angel,

That was hilarious. Keep up the funny posts.

Sean Allen

Sep 09, 2007 03:55 AM
Ray Nellum
Envision Real Estate Group, LLC. - Fort Smith, AR
Fort Smith Real Estate


That was great!  A great chuckle in the morning that was needed.  Thanks and I book-marked for the future.

Ft. Smith Real Estate

Sep 09, 2007 03:56 AM
Fran Gaspari
Patriot Land Transfer, Inc. - Limerick, PA
"The Title Man" - Title Insurance - PA & NJ


I assure you that we chocaholics are not immune to the syndrome! :^) Thanks,   Fran

Sep 09, 2007 04:03 AM
Nora Adkins
Realty Executives - Tucson, AZ

Hey....we're all not like that!!!!   (or maybe he's just to scared to tell me: )

Thanks for the laugh!!!!

Sep 09, 2007 04:12 AM
Daniel Sundberg
Crystal Springs Real Estate - Kentwood, MI

Nice post.. 

Now I gotta send some timely emails!

Sep 09, 2007 04:14 AM
Mary Warren
Las Vegas, NV
Remember all these for when you are older too Angel.  PMS will last for a few years when the wife gets to be in her late 40's or early 50's!
Sep 09, 2007 04:21 AM
Lacey D. Horton
LDH Services - Heath, TX
Certified Signing Agent Texas
How funny you forgot one of the acronyms for PMS Putting up with Men's S....uhghmmm,,,stuff?
Sep 09, 2007 04:22 AM
Dee Dawson
Keller Williams - South Riding, VA
Northern Virginia Real Estate

Angel - funny post!

My husband has been around 21 years and knows the drill...

Unfortunately my 17 year old son has a GF and doesn't have a clue what hit him! I'm sending it to him right now!. --Dee

Sep 09, 2007 04:27 AM
Hugh Krone
Weichert Referral Associates - Hamburg, NJ
Realtor, Sussex County NJ
I appreciated Mary,s comment about the late 40,s and early fifties now i know why the answer to every question including How was your day? Is "DON,T YELL AT ME"
Sep 09, 2007 05:17 AM
Christopher Benedict
BIG Realty - Collegeville, PA

Thanks for the great tips.  I will have to remember these ideas for myself and to pass on to others!

Sep 09, 2007 05:23 AM
Christine Bohn
RE/MAX Professionals - Gainesville, FL
The Bohn Team, Gainesville FL
Wonderful Laughs.........thanks!!   I love the list of what PMS stands for.....priceless!
Sep 09, 2007 12:14 PM
Eric Kodner
Wayzata Lakes Realty: Eric Kodner Sells Twin Cities Homes - Minnetonka, MN
Wayzata Lakes Realty: Twin Cities, Madeline Island

Jay Leno told his audience a couple of weeks ago that they call it PMS because the term "mad cow" was already taken..

Sep 10, 2007 05:49 PM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
I liked this one - thanks for posting it.
Sep 10, 2007 07:04 PM
Gary J. Rocks
Juba Team Realty - Jefferson Township, NJ


This is pretty good, Now I have a gage of between 40 and mid fifties when this stuff stops, I should live so long!

Sep 11, 2007 05:08 AM
"The Lovely Wife" (Broker Bryantnulls Wife) The One And Only TLW.
President-Tutas Towne Realty, Inc. - Kissimmee, FL


Here "leave me alone" and have some chocolate. Would like to use the credit card today? :)


Sep 11, 2007 09:31 AM
Patsy Ittner, Your Premier Broker Selling St. Augustine Real Estate
Little Fox Realty - Saint Augustine, FL

I love your little lists.  But it makes me wonder, who's got time to make up these lists.  Is it you?  I barely have time to read them. 

Funny post.  Thank you.

Sep 11, 2007 11:10 AM
Deb Brooks
Brooks Prime Properties Wichita Falls Texas - Wichita Falls, TX
Angel, You are such a hoot! Keep um comin'! I'm going to post a copy of this in our office! Happy holidays! Deb
Dec 04, 2007 01:46 PM
Deb Brooks
Brooks Prime Properties Wichita Falls Texas - Wichita Falls, TX
PS. I bookmarked this one for later reference too. Thanks again and stop in and visit me sometime! Deb again.
Dec 04, 2007 01:47 PM
Deb Brooks
Brooks Prime Properties Wichita Falls Texas - Wichita Falls, TX
Angel, where are you? I enjoy your writing so much and it's been soooooooo long. I hope everything is okay and you have a Happy Holiday. Take Care! Deb
Dec 10, 2007 03:56 PM
Thanks Deb
I've been getting my ePRO designation, working on my broker's license, and now, running around with buyers during the holidays.  Business has slowed so I am working even harder to either drum up business or advance myself further.  I'll gather up some new ideas for jokes soon.  Thanks for reminding me to have fun.  We all need a reminder that life is short and success comes from having fun in the present.  Happy Holidays to you too Deb. 
Dec 11, 2007 01:36 AM