A Little Help from your friends

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Pareto Realty TN #251071

Getting by with a little help from your friends is shameless!

If you hail from the old school thinking that ABMS (all by myself) is the ONLY way, I invite you now to considering a little “re-programming” in that noggin of yours.

The DIY (Do it yourself) thing was, for years, a cool and shiny and hip challenge for all of us to awaken the Renaissance Man within. Ah yes! We ALL can be master craftsfolk overnight after acquiring the appropriate DIY for Dummies Book and the recommended “professional” tools from the local big box hardware store.

There’s an inherent flaw in that social movement that has proven to be a veritable financial windfall for the real professionals who receive “that call” from “that guy/Gal” who tackled a purportedly “simple DIY job” which took a turn for the worse resulting in an humiliating call to the expert to undo what was done wrong and then redo it right.

Feelings of embarrassing inadequacy surface as we accept defeat and make that call. God forbid the neighbors notice the service truck in the driveway . . . They’ll want to know the story. Luckily, we can skate through with dignity mostly intact with a little white lie that begins with the truth: “The upstairs toilet was leaking through the ceiling of the downstairs laundry room, so (here’s the lie – omission – that I tried to fix it and failed) so I called the professionals, and they took care of it.”

I’ve been guilty as charged multiple times because I’m a tinkerer and LOVE it when I am able to do the fix ABMS . . . but I figure my success ratio leans towards 50:50 . . . not the best odds.

So . . . we learn to insulate ourselves from indignity in a variety of ways (Let me know if this resonates with you) the most prevalent of which is that we tell NO ONE ANYTHING about what we’re gonna do just in case things don’t go well. This is an “under the radar, clandestine mission” – TOP SECRET! Our closest friends, spice (plural of spouse) know nothing until the thing is done right . . . even if ABMS doesn’t go well resulting in the need for that little untruth-telling . . . Now you’ve compounded the gravity of the whole thing because you’ve been dishonest, and you’ll have to live with that for the rest of your life.

There’s a better way!

Engage your friends early in the process. This is simply doing some diligence . . . Ask them if they’ve ever done anything like this before. Do they know anyone else who has done this? Connect with those people and ask questions:

What went right when you did it?

What could go wrong?

What tips do you have that might reduce later heartburn?

Should I do this myself, or should I hire a coach or mentor?

Should I hire a professional to do it?

Preserve your integrity and set yourself up for success by doing the diligence necessary prior to embarking on the mission.

I believe this diligence begins with a little help from your friends.

Every blog post I write is a reflection on things happening in my life NOW! This post is not an exception. For years, I have contemplated writing a book and doing more Speaking and Consulting to groups and Organizations about living in Open Space – Intentionally focusing on the Rhythm of my life . . . I am now ready to begin this journey of “unpacking” this concept of Authentic Living in the form of a book. Not having ever done this before, I am practicing what I am preaching by leading with a little help from my friends . . . and am humbled by the groundswell of recommendations and introductions to published authors who have very generously agreed to meet with me.

Let’s end this post with a song!


What would you think if i sang out of tune,
would you stand up and walk out on me?
lend me your ears and i’ll sing you a song
and i’ll try not to sing out of key.
Oh, i get by with a little help from my friends
mm, i get high with a little help from my friends
mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
What do i do when my love is away
(does it worry you to be alone?)
how do i feel by the end of the day,
(are you sad because you’re on your own?)
No, i get by with a little help from my friends
mm, i get high with a little help from my friends
mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody
i need somebody to love
could it be anybody
i want somebody to love.
Would you believe in a love at first sight
yes, i’m certain that it happens all the time
what do you see when you turn out the light
i can’t tell you but i know it’s mine,
Oh, i get by with a little help from my friends
mm, i get high with a little help from my friends
mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody
i just need someone to love
could it be anybody
i want somebody to love.
Oh, i get by with a little help from my friends
with a little help from my friends.Songwriters: LENNON JOHN WINSTON / MCCARTNEY PAUL JAMES

Posted byBarry OwenMarch 22, 2019Posted inConsumer BlogLife Rhythm WayPareto RealtyReal Estate ProfessionalsTags:EditA Little Help from your friends

Published by Barry Owen

Strategist-CEO of Pareto Realty Real estate sales Professional Inviter-Facilitator-Practicer of Open Space Technology Opening safe space for people & organizations to self-organize around issues & opportunities BarryOwen.US Invite-Listen-Love

Posted by

Barry Owen

Principal Broker
Pareto Realty
Nashville, TN

Call me: 615-568-2123
email me: barryo@comcast.net




Simply & BOLDLY Living the FourFold Way in Open Space!

Quintessentially connected to the real estate industry to offer the ultimate experience for Home Buyers and Sellers in Middle Tennessee . . . Inquire within!


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Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

I admit to being a tinkerer too, Barry.  I have tackled many DIY projects around my home.  The only limitation I seem to have as a gal is being able to handle projects that have a lot of weight to them, or require more strength than I have.  I also have a very healthy respect for electricity.  Fortunately, my ex-husband is an electrician, and I didn't ask for allimony or child support when we separated.  He lives nearby, and if I need an electrical issue addressed, all I have to do is remind him that I was pretty good to him financially during our divorce!

Mar 22, 2019 07:29 AM #1
Linda Piper
Planatek Financial, Inc. - Ventura, CA

Barry:  Your writing communicates energy, enthusiasm and passion.  Go for it!

Mar 22, 2019 07:30 AM #2
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Barry - and it's not just an issue for home improvement weekend warriors either.  The subject of "I can do it myself" extends beyond many boundaries.  The "field" is ripe and the harvest hopefully will bring you a bounty. Good luck and keep us posted.  

Mar 22, 2019 10:24 AM #3
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

I like to do many things on my own, but I am never shy about asking for help when I don't know how to do something on my own.

Mar 22, 2019 11:28 AM #4
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

I'm laughing as I read this because my husband, Larry, is a DIY to the nth degree. He will, however, consult Youtube for help!!!

Mar 23, 2019 12:48 PM #5
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