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Dealing With Death

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Ward County Notary Services 607851

Specifically, I think it's important to help children learn how to deal with death. Death is a very confusing thing to a child... heck, it's confusing to most adults as well.

I was 46 years old when my 1st born... was born. Unlike most kids I knew mine were much more likely to be attending funerals then weddings. After all, both my parents had already died even before Tina and Timmothy were even born. 

JackThe first death my children had to deal with was our beloved Jack. Jack was a Yellow Lab cross that I got a couple of months before Tina was born.

When I got Jack it was for two reasons. 1) Every child should have a dog. 2) I assumed Jack would live 10 to 18 years and I knew a strong bond would be formed between them. With that in mind I had hoped they would be old enough to get a grip on the concept of death and the importance of celebrating a life past when he would die. I know the first death that I dealt with was a parakeet and my folks did a really poor job of making that an example of it for me... in fact it really wasn't mentioned aside from Tweetie died.

HersheyRecently we had the passing of a second guinea pig, Hershey. Hershey was Timmothy's guinea pig and for sure it was hard on him but by now it was a fact of life... pets die. I have some books on pastoral ministry and I found some information on holding a funeral as well as some sample services.

I put Timmothy in charge of holding the funeral and gave him the information I had on hand. He did a great job and I believe it helped his grief greatly.

I don't think there is a time to early to start educating children about death. Death is real and it happens to all living things. To me the best way to deal with it is to teach children to celebrate life. I believe in teaching them as to why all life is important and precious.

I want you to know what inspired this post. This week we laid a church family member to rest. Jen was just 34 years old. She was not sickly, she was modeling material at 5'10 & 135lbs. and had the face of a angel as well. Jen died of cancer just three months after being diagnosed with it.

Jen's funeral was a celebration of her faith. Everyone knew that Jen was a strong believer in Christ, His resurrection, and her own resurrection through her faith in her savior, Jesus Christ. Jens faith has strengthen my own. For that reason alone I am so glad that I got to celebrate Jens' life. See you on the other side Jen.

 

Posted by

Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

Our loved ones are still around. They remember you and enjoy seeing changes in their family. They may be in another world wanting to stay in touch and want your company. 

Feb 13, 2020 11:39 AM
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co Notary Services retired RE Broker

Thanks Sam Shueh . I know that there will be a lot of rejoycing when we are reunited on the ofther side.

Feb 13, 2020 12:00 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Bob - this is an important subject and one that needs discussion.  It definitely involves preparation and thought in advance.  

Feb 13, 2020 12:17 PM
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co Notary Services retired RE Broker

It really is important Michael Jacobs . Even down to the most basics... where is a home owner going to bury a pet? I've even seen a post here on AR about "What to do with that monument to Fifi when you put your home up for sale?.

Feb 13, 2020 12:42 PM
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Hello Bob,  I know I always had a hard time with this subject with younger people and I had to tell my share of people that someone past.

 

Feb 13, 2020 01:45 PM
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co Notary Services retired RE Broker

We had just gotten to know Jen, even more so her husband Steve, so it was really a shock to know someone that young to be taken by cancer Will Hamm .

Feb 13, 2020 02:02 PM
Steve Higgins
RE/MAX Kelowna - Kelowna, BC

Hi Bob,

First and foremost, sorry for the loss of your friend it's so sad when anyone pass away and especially at such a young age. 

Great post yes we should be teaching our children about death as we never know when our/anyones time is done.

We recently lost our dog and our 4 yr old granddaughter is having a hard time with him being in heaven. Poor little girl cried so hard when we told her and still does tear up at times when she realizes that she won't see him again she still thinks he will be back. When she facetimes with grandma she always would say, hi grandma, where's Higgins and where's grandpa. Now she says Hi grandma, where's grandpa and Higgins is dead but when is he coming home. Our 2 yr old granddaughter says Higgins? Higgins is gone?

Our dog is the first death they have had to experience so far.

Feb 13, 2020 03:05 PM
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co Notary Services retired RE Broker

That is a tough one Steve Higgins , I don't think I could adequately explain it to a four year old either. In some ways I'm lucky that my parents had already passed before the kids were born. That may have been easier then having met them and then explaining their disappearance from Earth.

Feb 13, 2020 06:43 PM
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR

Morning Bob.

It's always difficult to have someone you've known or loved to pass.  Sorry to hear about the loss of Jen, we are not privy to know what the man has in plan for anyone, do we?

Feb 14, 2020 01:31 AM
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co Notary Services retired RE Broker

You are right James Dray the mystery will not be reveled until we ourselves are on the other side.

Feb 14, 2020 06:49 AM
Michael J. Perry
KW Elite - Lancaster, PA
Lancaster, PA Relo Specialist

I’ve had the privilege to speak at a number of family funerals . The book “30 minutes in Heaven” has help share hope . But I’m very clear with them that only the body has died and that the spirit and soul is eternal  . ( many sitting before me have never heard this )

May 12, 2020 08:27 AM
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co Notary Services retired RE Broker

That is a great message Michael J. Perry  and one every non-believer needs to hear.

May 12, 2020 12:45 PM