Have You Listened to Yourself Lately? How About Reading What You Wrote on Social Media? Do You Even Care?

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Cam Realty and Property Management

Have You Listened to Yourself Lately? How About Reading What You Wrote on Social Media? Do You Even Care?

When we’re having an in-person conversation, words often flow, we are probably more natural than what share online. When we are honest, we speak our minds freely with the other person. The setting is private, it is just two people, no other ears or eyes are in the midst.

However, when we are in an “attack mode” and put the other person down every chance we get, I don’t think they will just sit there waiting for the next punch.

Below is from Merriam-Webster Dictionary;


Pput down verb

Synonyms & Antonyms of put down (Entry 2 of 2)


to express scornfully one's low opinion of

  • he has the annoying habit of putting down others under the guise of offering constructive criticism

See, these individuals know exactly what they’re doing. For whatever reason, they feel that they know better, they work better, they write better, they earn more, sell more.....
To my surprise, I was able to sign-in to ActiveRain this morning and started reading. When a blog post interests me, after reading the post, I try my best to read the comments as well. I can always learn from others.
This morning, I was so upset after reading a few comments on a post that I had to just walk away. This individual thinks most ActiveRain members don’t know how to write, they know nothing about SEO, all they want are the points and on and on. I have no doubt this person knows a lot about the subject. Instead of putting others down, couldn’t they just offer some help? How is it beneficial to say these harsh words? One of the things I love about this community is the fact I can always learn something when I read blog posts. Always!

What did I learn this morning?

Nothing new really. Just another confirmation some people must put others down to make themselves feel better. So go ahead and be yourself. Whatever floats your boat.

I know we are having some challenges in the rain right now but I am going to just wait, not going anywhere. Perhaps this is a good time for those who don’t cherish their fellow ActiveRain members to exit out. This is a great community where friendships are built for life, let’s continue to do exactly that.

Have You Listened to Yourself Lately? How About Reading What You Wrote on Social Media? Do You Even Care?


Comments (44)

Debra Leisek
Bay Realty,Inc Homer Alaska - Homer, AK

Hello Beth,  I really do not understand all this grief about AR having a glitch

There have been many websites with problems including Twitter!  If Twitter can get hacked pretty sure AR can have a memory problem

I am with you... go with the flow and let it be...

There are so many wonderful people in the Rain! Lets enjoy the good and ignore the very few bad!


Jul 26, 2020 12:49 AM
Beth Atalay

Amen to that Debra Leisek 

Jul 26, 2020 01:48 PM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

I do not follow the rain like I once did.... Still, I have sensed the angst among members much like the "world" we live in today. 

Jul 26, 2020 04:24 AM
Beth Atalay

That's so sad Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty. I wish we could all wake up to a morning where everything is in harmony and people are treating each other with love and respect. It's so great to see you here, thank you for your comment.

Jul 26, 2020 01:48 PM
Chad Felter
Virginia Beach, VA
Providing service through out Virginia.

What your post is really about but does not address is simple civility.

This country is "Great" because it was founded by people with different backgrounds, beliefs, and perspectives. Disagreement and consensus is the basis of  unity but only in the form of civility.


Jul 26, 2020 04:31 AM
Beth Atalay

Hi Chad Felter, assuming the majority of a group is uneducated, not knowledgeable doesn't sound like simple civility to me. 

Jul 26, 2020 01:47 PM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Do your best, be a helper, make it worthwhile. Does not mean everyone else will tow the same line. I came in through the blog tent flap thinking this is about comments or posts written while you are angry. The regret looking back at your own blog post or comment when you are not. Congratulations on the feature Beth Atalay !

Jul 26, 2020 06:21 AM
Beth Atalay

Hello Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573, despite the challenges, ActiveRain is a great community, there will always be some bad apples. 

Jul 26, 2020 01:45 PM
Dr. Paula McDonald
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

I'm with you 100% on this Beth. Too many people hide behind a keyboard saying terrible and insensitive things.

Jul 26, 2020 06:35 AM
Beth Atalay

Paula McDonald, Ph.D., these types of individuals have very low self-esteem.

Jul 26, 2020 01:44 PM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

That is very well said!  I have tried not to complain much and I am just in a holding pattern to see what becomes of life in the Rain.

Jul 26, 2020 07:18 AM
Beth Atalay

Hi Brian England, if complaining changed the outcome, I'm all for it but does nothing good.  

Jul 26, 2020 01:43 PM
Kimberly Button
Get Green Be Well - Hendersonville, NC
Designing & building healthy homes for wellness

Not sure what I missed. But glad I did! 

Jul 26, 2020 08:20 AM
Beth Atalay

Good thing you did Kimberly Button 

Jul 26, 2020 01:43 PM
Matthew Klinowski, PA
Downing Frye Realty - Naples, FL
Naples Golf Guy | Find Your Dream Lifestyle

Good morning Beth, I missed the post you are referencing and it's unfortunate others communicate in an unconstructive manner. Especially during these challenging times when everyone could use a kind word. It is easy to hide behind a written word instead having a conversation even if both parties agree to disagree in the end. The one thing I know, I learn from every type of post. Sometimes I see ideas and thoughts that are inspiring and helpful. Other times I see comments which are hurtful and it reminds me of what I will never do to another. So in the end I do learn something from both positive and negative posts. I still subscribe to the premise, treat others as you wish to be treated. So bring on the positive thoughts! Enjoy your Sunday.

Jul 26, 2020 08:46 AM
Beth Atalay

Hi Matthew Klinowski, PA, like you, I too learn from every post I read, even if its just about the person who wrote the post. Have a wonderful Sunday afternoon! 

Jul 26, 2020 01:42 PM
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

Some I wrote way back still looks valid and good. Picked up someting I wrote in the 1980s they sound fine even today.

Jul 26, 2020 08:47 AM
Beth Atalay

Golden principles never change Sam Shueh 

Jul 26, 2020 01:38 PM
Laura Filip
Laura Filip Broker , Opening doors for All Seasons of Life - Whitesboro, TX
What can we do for you today?

Afternoon to all, We are working on posting fun items, items we see as we go for a walk. Try to stay away from the crazy stuff. Sometimes hard to do with it all going on around us. Have a blessed day to all. 

Jul 26, 2020 12:46 PM
Dorte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Beth,

Must have missed some hubbub. Good to be too busy for negativity.

Jul 26, 2020 09:42 PM
Beth Atalay

It's a good thing you missed it!

Jul 28, 2020 08:23 AM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker/REALTOR® - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I missed the post you're referencing but definitely agree with your thoughts. I have seen people putting other people down on social media, and it makes me hit the "snooze" "unfollow" or "close app" buttons. 

Jul 27, 2020 05:11 AM
Beth Atalay

I'm glad you missed it Kat Palmiotti, I wish it was never there to begin with.

Jul 28, 2020 08:24 AM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

I was brought up if you can't say something nice, don't say anthing at all. Unfortunately people over the past few years have become comfortable insulting others and the leadership they see only reinforces that belief. I thank you for the post, and hope that many will learn from it, to be helpful, without trying to hurt others.

Jul 27, 2020 05:51 AM
Beth Atalay

Hi Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, putting others down does nothing positive yet we see it happen a lot, especially on social media. 

Jul 28, 2020 08:25 AM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Beth Atalay - I will check in to AR when I can, if the posts are not timing out I will stay.  I have said my peace, offered my advice, that is all one can do. I was in a leadership position in the corporate world. I would tell others that if they had a concern, bring a reasonable solution to the table.  Let's explore it.  We are not getting any real feedback on our suggestions to make this a more efficient platform. That is where we are right now...

Jul 27, 2020 10:53 AM
Beth Atalay

Hi Sheri Sperry - MCNE®, we are all professional adults, with everything going on, we must stay away from putting each other down and using hurtful words. 

Jul 28, 2020 08:26 AM
Mike McCann - Nebraska Farm Land Broker
Mike McCann - Broker, Mach1 Realty Farm & Commercial Land Broker-Auctioneer Serving Nebraska - Kearney, NE
Farm Land For Sale 308-627-3700 or 800-241-3940

Hi Beth Atalay I talk with people on a regular basis to always remember that what they post on social media can be there a long, long time! 

Every once in a while my wife reminds to keep my feet on the ground, my mouth shut, and to just walk away from the issues. She reminds me that my feet should be nowhere near my mouth or rear end with my writing and thoughts.  Balance...it is what makes a marriage grow....

Jul 27, 2020 02:03 PM
Beth Atalay

Your wife is a wise lady Mike McCann - Nebraska Farm Land Broker 

Jul 28, 2020 08:27 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Beth, Some people just want to be heard and completely disregard everyone elses opinions or point of views because theirs is much more important! A shame, really.

Jul 27, 2020 05:50 PM
Beth Atalay

You're so right Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can! Sad but true.

Jul 28, 2020 08:27 AM
Erik Hiss
Keller Williams Capital Partners Realty - Worthington, OH
You can trust me for all your real estate needs!

I try to sound the same in person, in email, on social media and on the phone...then people won't be surprised by meeting me or reading what I say.

Jul 29, 2020 06:43 AM
Richard Weeks
Dallas, TX
REALTOR®, Broker

Great information, thanks for sharing.  I hope you have a great day.

Jul 31, 2020 01:50 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Hi Beth... I am always very conscious of what I say on social media and how I say it. Now that being said, I am one of those people who essentially walked away from the Rain in July and August... some of it was a choice, but it was a choice made for me... hard to participate or have positive feelings when you go for weeks at a time unable to log in in the first place.

Aug 28, 2020 06:12 AM
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Aug 29, 2021 12:34 PM