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Property Owners-What's the best story you have heard?

As a property manager with hundreds of units over multiple states, I get stories from my tenants and my managers every day that just make me shake my head in disbelief or sometimes just laugh out loud. It got me to wondering what are some of the best stories you have heard for not paying rent, or maybe maintenance stories, or just general tenant stories that you have come across?
Here's one I got a chuckle out of yesterday: One of my managers called and said they were collecting rent from a tenant whom we are going to evict for nonpayment. He told her he has a friend interested in one of the vacant units, and wanted to know if he gave us his name, could he get a referral fee? Understand he can't pay his own rent, yet he thinks of his friend and he can refer him and get a few bucks? Seriously?
I told him I would knock off one of his late fees!
 
Let me know the best fairy tale you have heard.
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