tales from a realtor on a friday: Children Have The Answers - 10/01/10 06:09 AM
Have you ever asked a child a question and got a really straight and honest answer? I would say yes because their perspectve has not been clouded by puberty or adulthood.
For example:
  WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?  Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.-- Camille, age 10    HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.-- Derrick, age 8
  WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?  Both … (11 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: How To Order A Member of Parliament For Lunch! - 09/24/10 06:07 AM
The post below was written by Paul Henderson and here in Canada, I would substitute Democrats and Republicans with Conservatives and Liberals and New Democrats and Freedom Party and Green Party and Bloc Party  and Humtydiddledolittle Party.
Ty

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.  Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the dinner menu.Tourist:  $5Broiled Missionary:  $7Fried Explorer:  $9Freshly Baked Republicans and Democrats:  $150The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a huge price difference for the politicians?"The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to … (9 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: Do Not Ask Me Why Part 4 - 08/20/10 07:14 AM
I know that pondering sometimes can lead to thoughts of curiosity and for those of you (young people under 50) wondering what pondering is about, think about it for awhile!
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


 Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
And for all my American friends my last question is:

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? … (8 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: Dumb Things That Men Say To Their Partners Part 1 - 08/20/10 06:48 AM
Here are some things not to say, or react to with your partner:
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies,  "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
And Finally:
I tried to talk … (8 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: Cheese Names Cause for Negotiating - 07/23/10 05:14 AM
A few years back some wines and bubbly in North America were restricted in using certain names on its labels.Now the European Union are negotiating with Canadian cheese producers or is it the other way around? Regardless, committees and time are being spent arguing(they call it negotiating, they should have a REALTOR® with them, that is what we do best, but I am digressing) about the names on cheese labels.
Parma is one and Camembert is another. For free, I offer the following name changes:
Blue Cheese: That coloured cheese with a strong smell.
Goats Cheese: 4 legged mound of something.
… (9 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: Only in Canada Musings - 07/16/10 12:05 PM
       Only in Canada .....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
     Only in Canada ....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
     Only in Canada .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
    Only in Canada.....Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
… (19 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: Why Do Brides Wear White? - 07/16/10 11:55 AM
Mary was attending a wedding for the first time. As she sat in the church, she watched the bride slowly approach the altar. Mary whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
 "Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
 The child thought about this for a moment, then said... "So why is the groom wearing black?"
… (12 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: A Dog Tale From London Ontario - 04/16/10 09:22 AM
Dog Tales
Two guys were out for a stroll. One had a Doberman pinscher and the other had a Chihuahua.  As they sauntered down the street, the guy with the Doberman said, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat." 
 The guy with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got the dogs with us."
 The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead." They walked over to the restaurant and the guy with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.  The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, … (9 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: They Said What? - 02/25/10 12:00 PM
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
 Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.   Victor Borge
 Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.  Mark Twain
 The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.  George Burns
 I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.  Groucho Marx
… (11 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: Computer & The Auto Industry. Confusion Explained! - 02/12/10 02:14 AM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.' In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a day. 2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy … (5 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: Some Thoughts About Children - 12/11/09 09:06 AM
I had just finished a listing presentation when the mother said to me:"We'll never sell our house, my kids won't keep it clean, it will always be a mess" and on an on.
I asked her that if she sat down and spoke with them and asked for their help, would they comply? "No way, they can be so difficult" she said.
That evening when I got home, I emailed her this little collection of quotes"
Some Thoughts About Children ....
"What is a home without children?"
Quiet.        Henny Youngman
 "While we try to teach our children all about life, our … (9 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: Fishing With A Busy REALTOR - 12/04/09 12:01 AM
Fishing With A Busy REALTOR
 Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dave headed home frustrated.
 The following week when Dave's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Dave. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing..
 "How did you talk your missus into letting you … (3 comments)

tales from a realtor on a friday: Realtors Wacky Answering Machine Messages - 11/27/09 01:17 AM
Realtors Wacky Answering Machine Messages
  Being in Real Estate we get an opportunity to shake our heads a lot. One of the joys of calling a client or returning a call is the chance to hear a bit of the following:
 • Hi.  I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
•  Hello, you've reached George and Carmen.  We can't pick up the phone right now because we're doing something we really enjoy.  George  likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to … (15 comments)