2008 Darby Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the
Darwin
>   Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
>
>               Here is the glorious winner:
>
>               1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his
intended
>   victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would-be
>   robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire
>   wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
>   This time it worked.
>
>               And now, the honorable mentions:
>
>               2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
>   meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance
>   company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
>   men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he
>   also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>
>               3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
>   his car during a blizzard in Chicago, returned with his
>   vehicle,  to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably,
>   he shot her.
>
>               4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
>   bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed
>   to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not
>   wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby
>   bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
>   then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
>   the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to
>   bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
>               5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
>   serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When
>   asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that
>   he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to
>   a moving train before he was hit.
>
>               6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on
>   the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the
>   cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash
>   in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man
>   took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on
>   the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
>   drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you
>   money, is a crime committed?]
>
>               7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
>   decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
>   store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the
>   cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The
>   cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
>   head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
>   made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
>               8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store,
a
>   man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
>   immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed
>   description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
>   apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove
>   back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
>   told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
>   "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the
purse
>   from."
>
>               9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked
>   into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M.,
>   flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down
>   because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a
>   food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
>   they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
>   walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
>
>               10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
home
>   parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained
>   for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man
>   curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police
>   spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
>   gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
>   sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to
>   press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
>
>               In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these
with
>   your friends and family .... unless of course one of these
>   individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost
>   friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they
>   remain lost.
>
>               *** Remember... They walk among us!!! ***