Special offer

"We're Facebook Friends not real friends" - Managing Social Relationships

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with D3 Interactive Marketing

We're just facebook friends.  Yes, that is an acceptable definition of your status with a person.  In the olden days, you know 2005, we would call those people acquaintances but even then, we knew a little about the person.  I have people that I have known for 3 years and yet if I saw them in a restaurant would have no idea who they were.  I know about their kids, the fights they had with their wife and that they just lost their house to foreclosure, but I couldn't tell you if they had blond hair or were bald, whether they were 30 or 50.  Are we friends?  nah, we're Facebook Friends.

WARNING - Danger Will Robinson - Boat Analogies to follow

In boating, there is a thing called Draft.  Draft is essentially how low your boat rides in the water when underway.  Some boats get up on plane which means that at speed, they raise up and ride on the top of the water with a minimal draft.

So what does this have to do with boats and facebook?

Before social networking, our friends were people we could reach out and shake their hand, share a bagel with or recognize at the corner store.  Those relationships had a larger draft.  Meaning, they were deeper and maybe even a bit slower to develop.

Now in our world we have microwave relationships.  Low draft, riding on plane skipping across the deep meaningful stuff, but sharing experiences and doing it at warp speed.

Which is better?  Well me personally, I like the rush of wind in my hair and I don't want to wait 20 seconds for a potato to cook, I want it in 15.  So is this bigger but shallower sphere of influence something you can use to your benefit?  Maybe.  Let's look at a couple of examples.

On one site that I work on regularly one of the younger posters (mid-20's) found out that his girlfriend was pregnant when she went to the ER with stomach pains and gave birth.  She literally had no idea she was pregnant.  She had taken tests that came back negative.  Crazy.  But within 24 hours of him announcing he was now a dad, his sphere of high speed friends had strollers, car seats, cribs and clothes ready for him.  His really close friends were just as broke as he was and had no money to buy him stuff, give him advice or just help him out.  But his high speed friends ranged in ages and financial ability and well lots of us had stuff in the garage that we were going to sell at the next yard sale.  So in this case, high speed was the key.

On that same site so that you can see the same set of individuals, a guy was getting a divorce.  His wife was cheating on him and he was leaving.  Now the same group of guys who poured on the love for the one who had an unexpected baby didn't offer this guy a place to stay.  Why?  We were high speed friends.  Our relationship wasn't deep enough to let you stay at my house.  In that case, his deeper relationships were the ones that were the best.

So what does this mean for business?  You have Facebook Friends and Active Rain Friends and Twitter followers and all other kinds of social relationships online.  If you are looking to grow your business, you need to slow down the high speed relationships just enough to make them deep enough that they will refer you and/or your business to their Deep Water friends.  You don't need to crash on their couch, just enough of a relationship to give them confidence in you.

Go through a No Wake Zone

Even the fastest boat needs to slow down for the No Wake Zone.  Reach out personally to your facebook friends with a quick Hi how are you doing.  On their birthday, send them a happy birthday email or facebook post or mention through Twitter.  Slow down enough to pay attention to the little things.

And now since you know a little about me, tell me a little about you so that I can get to know you just a little better.

Bill Risser
Fidelity National Title - Saint Petersburg, FL
Fidelity National Title - Tampa District

Chris - Great use of what must be your love for the water in explaining the nature of relationships in today's world...  I agree with you that the types of relationships has grown along with the growth of the different online social platforms.  It is very important to know the rules of engagement with each of those types... 

Feb 17, 2011 03:04 AM
Kate Bourland
Marketing with Kate - Redding, CA
Onlilne Marketing Mobile Marketing

Chris, I like your blog and observations.  Good Stuff.  Can you please upload a profile pictute so that it feels more personal?  I think that it enhances those "social" relationships!

Feb 17, 2011 01:14 PM
Chris Mayr
D3 Interactive Marketing - Orlando, FL

Bill,  I am a lifelong Floridian.  It is in our nature.

Kate, I promise I am going to get a picture taken this weekend so that I have one in a big enough file size for AR.

Feb 18, 2011 06:23 AM
Nick Krehnke 425-202-5655
Barrett Financial Group - Seattle, WA
"Your Trusted Expert Friend in the Home Loan Biz"

Homestly, I spend most of my time on Facebook commenting to what people are saying, because that is what is on their minds and in their hearts at that moment. I find it much more enjoyable than jumping up and down about how rates or low or something. I still have that  a strong Home Loan Message all over in my profile and banners and such, but my outbound reach is about their personal things. 

Feb 27, 2011 04:01 PM
Rosemary Brooks
BMC Real Estate - 209-910-3706 - Stockton, CA
The Mother & Daughter Realty Team

Chris great post.  Where did you get the QR code image?

May 03, 2011 01:43 AM