Last year I consulted with a senior citizen and her family. She was apprehensive to sell. Her family was encouraging her to relocate out of state to be closer to them. The children had all moved away for better job opportunities and even though she was a lifetime resident who never saw herself moving away herself, the reality was that she is living in the community all alone after her husband had passed away.
As far as seniors go, she is still rather young and very active. Perhaps this is why she was so apprehensive. She reminds me of my own mother about fifteen years ago.
I commended her for giving relocation some consideration and letting her children guide her. I relayed the story of my own parents who had always been so stubborn about moving closer to me, and how the distance can really take a toll on the family. I explained how I was the closest in proximity of the children and was making regular trips to check on my parents who live 3 1/2 hours away and have nobody in town who they can rely on. My own parents struggled with the idea of relocating but being a little more strong willed and stuborn they decided not to. Of course, they had each other at the time so living independently despite all their health issues was not such a scary thing, and they were prepared to get through their life together as they had vowed - love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
It was last year when I first consulted with this seller client, and a lot has changed since then.
Unfortunately, I am still trying to sell this sweet lady's house and feel really bad that the market conditions have not been so kind to her biggest investment. She just lowered the price again and I am hoping something happens soon. The major development here is that she had a stroke while visiting one of her children this spring. Although she recovered nicely, reality has set in and there is a little more motivation now.
As for my parents, my father passed away in March. My mother is now by herself now. I finally convinced her in late April to consider moving closer to me, but then she suddenly needed emergency surgery and has been hospitalized or living in a rehab facility ever since - 3 1/2 hours away, by herself. Alone.
I am being told now that my mother may not ever be medically stable to live independently in the future. Additionally, the surgery left her as a kidney dialysis patient for the rest of her life and I am finding out that she can not be accommodated as a local resident in my community. Apparently, there is a shortage of health care facilities for this particular situation and she has been on a wait list for three weeks. We have been given little hope that she will clear the list any time soon. She faces each day alone. It's very frustrating for her and she is very lonely.
As I share this story it is my hope that I can help others.
Most seniors want to age in place without giving thought to how grueling it can be for their out of town children. I realize my parents were strong willed because they never wanted to be a burden to their children. Nobody does. However, it becomes a bigger burden when there is distance which hampers a family support system.
My parents were so detailed oriented, they had all their financial affairs in order so that I could transition into the role of bookkeeper and manage their bills. I have reviewed all their financials and see that they met with their financial adviser and attorney often to plan their estate wisely. Oh, they planned well. Even their funerals had been pre-paid and planned years ago. When my father passed away, we discovered that he even picked out his coffin. Yet, neither of them planned on how they would spend their last years. Sure, they were together, but unless there is a fatal accident, most couples don't die together. One is often left all alone. In this case, it's unclear whether my mother will be able to relocate closer to her family now. Her health continues to deteriorate rapidly ...and, this is why aging in place is not always the best option for Seniors.
, Designated SRES - SENIOR REAL ESTATE SPECIALIST
CAROL CULKIN, ABR, SRES (845) 430-6543 Helping Dutchess County Senior Citizens
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