Do we measure our life's accomplishments by what we have amassed or is it a historical look through the looking glass? An encapsulated version of the life we have made, and memories forever preserved. Packing ones parents requires diplomacy, sensitivity, and fortitude. It requires understanding, compassion, and respect. As a parent ages, they feel torn between the past, and the present.
Adult children can play a vital role in this transformation. It is a rare opportunity to learn about all the things you did not know. When one parent passes, the remaining parent has the arduous task of deciding which momentos are important, or significant, and need to be taken along and which ones should be cast aside.
In half a century of living in one place, one amasses a lifetime of memorabilia. We reflect on the good times, the bad times, the flood gates of memories and the uncertainty of the future. If the life they shared was a happy one, it is indeed a difficult task.
Unlike divorce, absent is the anger, in its place is a comforting calm. A reassurance it was a "good life" and an emptiness that is an unfillable void. "Your Mother loved this" as it is placed in the box being packed for the journey ahead.
In 1958 he paid $6,500 for his little house. Over time he added a room here and there. He modified it, adapted it, and finally it was time to let it go. A 22 year old newlywed had moved in and half a century later he was moving out widowed. It was sold for $225,000.
Perhaps it is not about leaving, it is about moving forward. Looking around at the work that needed to be done, it was time for him to move ahead. Adult children become a vitally important in helping our aging parents make this transition from old to new. As the truck pulled away after a marathon packing frenzy, there would be no looking back. Heading up the New England Expressway for the last time, the fall foliage was symbolic. Dad was entering into the winter of his life. He found a fantastic little house in New England, not too far from where he was born. As we arrived some six hours later, he was smiling, and joyful, filled with hope and optimism of what he would do with this little house. And Mom, although not with us for some 15 years now, was smiling too.
As professionals we do transactions everyday. We look at properties with practical eyes. The new family will love that old house as much as Dad once did. They will give it a new life and it will serve them well. And someday, when they are old and gray, their children will be boxing up their memories. Life is a circle. When showing a vintage home, if you can picture grandma baking cookies in the kitchen, it is actually a selling point.
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