So, now you have decided that you need to research where mom and dad will be once they can no longer live in their home on their own. As I said in Part 1, they may be able to stay in their home with full-time help. First perhaps a live in aide, later with live in nurse. But, they would need someone who can drive them to doctor appointments, take them to any social events they attend, shop for them. If they do not live in the same state, this could be a challenge for you to monitor. Some children may opt to have them move into their own homes, space allowed, with similar help. But, they may want their independence.
Independent Living is the next best thing to living home. This allows them to have their own apartment, many that have 2 bedrooms if it is a couple, or even townhouses or cottages with full kitchens. Provides:
2 Meals a Day provided in a dining room style.
Transportation to doctors, shopping, church or other religious affiliates
Housekeeping once a week
Health and Wellness - Gyms with PT/OT capacities
Activities - Some activity directors are really great providing lectures, movies, games, and outings
Some have In-Home Services on staff..if need a little extra help down the road.
Assisting Living: provides extra assistance and is more medically equipped.
Nursing Home: When full 24/7 support is needed.
There are numerous resources to explore while thinking about the level of care you will need.
Two national sites that I had used in the past are:
A Place for Mom
ElderCareLink
One national site that I like to use for Westchester County is:
Senior Homes
This has a good list for Assisting/Independent Living and also has a page that can
give you an idea of the AVERAGE COST OF FACILITIES.
You can gather more information about local independent and assisted/nursing homes even on our local goverment Westchester County Site.
The New York Health Department gives a summary of some of the facilities in Westchester by # of beds, and type of facility.
Atria Communities seem to have bought up some of the smaller communities. So you may want to check out their site. There is a beautiful one right in Ardsley on Saw Mill River Road.
Want an exclusive upscale community, check out one in Briarcliff Manor called The Club.
BEFORE MOVING YOUR PARENT NO MATTER WHERE:
No matter what level of care your parent may need, independent, assisted, or nursing, it really does help to plan in advance. Some helpful hints that I used both 3 years ago when we moved my mother from Florida to Colorado to independent living, and also just recently when we’ve had to move her to a nursing home is:
1) First time, drop by during the weekend. Weekdays are generally busier, more people around and the normal sales staff work weekdays, unless there is an appointment. If you walk in during a weekend, it is usually quieter. See how you are greeted by the front desk. See if there are “happy” people sitting around the lobby or outside (applies more to assisted/nursing). Get a “feel for the place”.
2) If you like what you see, make an appointment with the sales staff to give you information about the
community and a tour. If they have empty apartments, ask to see them.
3) *** Get a copy of their menu, both daily and a special menu and ask to eat there. This is one of the
biggest complaints from elderly parents. I can’t stand this food can be common. So check that out!
We were shocked when we moved her to Colorado to see how different their food was. Being that
my mother basically ate bland food and regular chicken, fish, meat with vegetables in Florida home,
we were amazed at the “normal” menu consisting of everything with gravies, stews, fried chicken,
french fries. Lots of meat and potatoes. Vegetables were two frozen string beans with lots of
mashed potatoes with gravy!. Yes, you could alternate with their lunch menu, but how many sliced
turkey and ham sandwiches and small salads with some lettuce can you eat! Portions also looked
like they came out of Healthy Choice (wish they were) container. This was a challenge for whole 3
years she was there. We had to spend extra money for food in her apartment when they didn’t have anything too normal on the menu. KNOW YOUR PARENTS taste before moving in.!
BUT, the staff where we had her were wonderful, caring, attentive. I could not say enough about the PT/OT staff, front desk, management and waiters and waitresses that returned numerous meals for mom!
PART 3 of these blogs will include - Costs add up when moving to a Nursing Home. What I’ve learned that can really eat up the money and some things to know about Medicaid Planning if you need it.
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