My Mom taught me well!

Dad taught me the finer things in life...fishing, hunting, how to hide my favorite whiskey along with some not so useful stuff.  Home repair and maintenance and remodeling.

But MOM taught me the things that has gotten me through life...

Appreciate  a Job well done...If you two are going to kill each other, do it outside...I just finished cleaning!

Religion...You had better PRAY that will come out of the carpet!

Logic...Because i said so, that's why!

More Logic...If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you are NOT going to the store with me!

Foresight...Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you are in an accident.

Contortionism...Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!   (HOW?)

Weather...This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it!

Hypocrisy...If I told you once I have told you a million times, don't exaggerate!

Behavior Modification...STOP ACTING LIKE YOUR FATHER!!!!

Envy...There are millions of children out there in the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.

Receiving...You are going to get it when you get home!

Medical science...If you don't stop crossing your eyes like that they are going to get stuck that way!

ESP...Put your sweater on, don't you think I know when you are cold.

How to become an adult...If you don't eat your veggies, you will never grow up!

Genetics...You are just like your father!

Wisdom...When you get my age, you will understand.

Time Travel...If you don't straighten up I am going to knock you into next week!

Irony...Keep laughing and I will give you something to cry about.

More irony...Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about.

Osmosis...Shut your mouth and eat your supper.

Physics Problems...If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming at you, would you listen then.

AND MOST OF ALL...The circle of life...I brought you into this world and I can take you out!!!!

AHHH, THE GOOD OLD DAYS!!!