My Dad, Now Here Was a Man!

My Dad, Now Here Was a Man

As many of you older folk will recall, I borrowed the title of this post from a song sung by Paul Peterson back in 1962, on the Donna Reed Show. It was written by Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil. Even to this day, I get a little teary-eyed when I hear it. The first couple of verses are below…

He isn't much in the eyes of the world
He'll never make history
No, he isn't much in the eyes of the world
But he is the world to me

My dad, now here is a man
To me he is everything strong
No, he can't do wrong, my dad

As Christmas draws near, our thoughts turn to our most cherished memories with our families. I don’t have much to draw on with my father. My dad died of leukemia when I was just 22 years old. I am 63 now. It seems a lifetime ago; and, in fact, it is.

My father had a very difficult life. He grew up through the depression. Those of us old enough to have parents, who came though the depression, know that it left a mark on them. They knew the fear of having everything you own taken away. My dad’s father passed away during the 1918 flu pandemic. This 2-year, world-wide epidemic killed between 20-50 million people…my dad’s dad was one of them.

After my dad’s father died, his sister had to quit school to help their mom. His two younger brothers were sent to an orphanage, and my dad was sent to live with an aunt and uncle in Detroit. My dad told the story of his arrival in Detroit…he was met at the train station by an uncle he never met and was driven to the uncle’s home. The uncle escorted my dad to the back yard, where he was told to set down his things. He was handed a shovel, and told to finish spading the garden. The uncle told him he wasn’t allowed inside until it was done…so much for a warm welcome.

As a young man in his 20’s, he came back to his home in Ohio to find that his mother had remarried. My dad couldn’t stand his stepfather for the way he mistreated his mom. It was during this time that my dad and mom started dating, and eventually married.

My dad and his siblings were a pretty emotionally tough group…after all, as young adults, they barely knew each other. While they enjoyed getting together, they really didn’t say too much. I never knew this was abnormal behavior until I married my wife. She is from a large Italian family where there is never a moment of silence. Contrasting the two families, it became apparent to me that their childhood had taken its toll.

My dad, now he understands
When I bring him troubles to share
Oh, he's always there, my dad

When I was small I felt ten feet tall

When I walked by his side
And everyone would say "That's his son"
And my heart would burst with pride

My dad was extremely athletic, and at one time, played semi-pro baseball. As I child, I remember him coming home from a back-breaking job at the factory and hitting me pop flies after dinner so I could make the Little League team. He took up golf in his early 50’s. He wanted to play as teenager, but his uncle told him to put away such notions…because, “it was a rich man’s game.” It wasn’t long before my dad was a scratch golfer…a feat neither me, nor my older brother ever achieved.

Asthe song starts out…He isn’t much in the eyes of the world, he will never make history…and no, he didn’t make history. When he went to be with the Lord, those who attended his funeral numbered in the dozens…his death didn’t make front page news.  He was a good man. He was wonderful husband. My mom never had to fear him, he came home every night, he didn’t smoke or drink, and he went to church with her on Sunday. My brother and I grew up knowing we were loved, and my dad would move heaven and earth to provide for us. What I found most remarkable about my dad was he never used his childhood as an excuse to mistreat others, or to assess blame on anyone. What had happened was always in the past, and it never clouded his future.

I guess the testament to how great a man my dad was…is that I still miss him each and every day!

My dad, oh I love him so
And I only hope that some day
My own son will say
"My dad now here is a man"