Non-Discloser's Guide

Non-Discloser's Guide

Copyright (c) 2013 Deanna & Jim Gilbert

"What difference does it make?" - Hillary Clinton

OWNER OCCUPANT BUYERS

1. Don't let on that you are really looking for your roommate, to help get them out of your hair.

2. Don't mention that your lease goes for another nine months and you are just checking things out.

3. Don't ask how to use your Section 8 voucher to buy until at least the 3rd time you go looking at houses. 

4. Don't mention tell your agent that you can't buy until you other house sells.  

SELLERS

1. Don't say anthing about the squirrels in the attic. Everyone loves furry little animals.

2. Don't explain that the other heirs haven't agreed to let you sell the house. They're bound to come to their senses.

3. Don't mention that there is a sizable IRS tax lien against the house.  You should be able to just have them slide the tax lien on to the your next house[boat].

4. Don't say anthing to the agent about the judgments against you and your ex-wife that were recorded.  Everyone's forgotten about them by now.

5. Don't mention anything about that bees nest in the wall of the house below the master bedroom window. The buyer's will probably like the honey.

6. Don't mention to your agent that this whole idea of selling is based on moving to be closer to that new job which looks pretty certain but isn't in the bag.

7. Don't mention that you are just trying to figure out how much your landlord would want you to offer if you could persuade your boyfriend to make him an offer.

INVESTORS

1. Don't ever reveal that you actually need to sell or lease another property in order to buy this one.  One of your 5 other deals with 5 other agents is bound to come through.

2. Don't ever disclose that the source of funds for your cash offer is actually a gift.  Also don't breathe a word about the gift tax laws to the giver. They're supposed to know what they are doing.

3. Don't ever reveal that you're co-signing an FHA purchase with another person so that you they can make the mortgage payments like rent while you take the deductions like interest.   You're just trying to help out young people who need to get a start.

4. Don't let your agent know that the cash is really hard money or flash money. What matters is getting the house, and it's all cash at the table anyway.

AGENTS

1. Don't disclose that your client is related to you.  

2. Don't disclose that your loan officer or title company is related to you.  Half-siblings, step-siblings, and in-laws don't count anyway.

3. Pose as a prospective buyer, not an agent, when you call the listing agent to arrange a showing.

4. Don't discuss your fees at first meeting with your clients.  You want to break the news to them gently over time.

5. Don't ever mention any agent bonuses offered with a particular listing. Those are none of your client's business.

6. Don't say a word about the fact that this house is listed by another agent at your brokerage. The in-house sale bonus is between you and your broker!

7. Avoid discussing the fact that you are the listing agent when you are showing the house to the prospective buyers. They'll be more comfortable thinking you represent just them.

8. Don't ever let a buyer know that you already wrote offers for two other buyers on this property. Why confuse them with needless worries.

(Disclaimer: This entire post is satire. The authors recommend full compliance with all legal and ethical disclosure requirements.)