Ten or One?

difference in world when looking for a home?

                    Not Important 1---- 2-- --3----5----7----9----10 Deal Breaker

I was working with a wonderful young newly married couple who were looking for their home. This is not the first home purchase for either of them since they both have homes of their own. But as in the case of anyone who owns a home it is much better to have OURS instead of His or Her's after you merge your lives together.

This is a typical situation we as REALTORS® see on a daily basis.

In most cases each wants to please the other person and this slows the decision process down and can cause great stress. You see most times there is a quiet personal struggle beneath the surface because everyone knows what they love and want especially when it comes to their home.

So as I am working with this young couple and we are speaking about wants and needs. I hear them agreeing on some items but then a strong objection or silence would stop the conversation. This is where their sticking point might be or it is  something really important to one or the other. 

Then I heard her say this is a 9 to me what is it for you and he thought for a second and said a  3 and that was it! The decision was made that she would get that item as a need on the list and they moved on.  Wait a minute.......

At that moment I had to stop them to ask "What just happened there?"

That is when my buyers taught me the sliding scale process way to resolve conflict and it worked beautifully. They said their pastor taught them this as a way not to argue about something that in the big picture is not really and issue. Their pastor suggested to them to number their decision or concern on a 1-10 scale. If something is a 3 to one person and and 8 to the other person then the person who had eight gets to decide on this situation or concern. As long as it is in their budget and the the person who had 3  concedes since it was not that important to them. He told them this will help them to only buck heads when they have a complete opposite opinion that is a 10 for each of them.

May I just say Brilliant!!

So lets say she wants a soaking tub in the next home and she says that is an 8 on the scale of importance he could care less because he only uses a shower so he gives the soaking tub a 1.  Then he concedes and they are happy. 

Now lets say he wants the big extra large shower that does not allow for a tub in the owners bath  and she is insistent she wants a tub. Now this is a 10 for both of them and this is where real conversation begins.

This is where a REALTOR® comes in to coach them. Instead of arguing we have found out what is really important to each of them. We then set out to see if we  can we find a home with both an extra large shower and a soaking tub in the owners bath within their budget. When we do we have found their home.

I learn something new everyday and this will be something I use to help buyers thought the inevitable needs and wants vs affordability conversation. With this system we can remove much of the stress and save time by looking at the homes that will meet their needs.