In business and with your personal relationships try to
Learn To Read People Below The Surface.
MOST of communication is below the surface, like initially only seeing the tip of the iceberg. You don't try to gather this EXTRA information about people to judge them, or use your "extra sensory" powers against them with added knowledge, but FOR BETTER UNDERSTANDING. Some ideas to get better:
- meet people in person to pick up on fidgeting, calmness, loudness of voice
- read books to learn what the non verbals mean
- definitely try to get people on the phone besides email to LISTEN to their voice. Voice adds so much more to understanding someone
- WATCH ACTIONS. That actions speak louder than words is MASSIVELY true. They are the "follow the breadcrumbs" clues as to what is really inside
- Be bold and ASK DIRECT questions to clear up confusion or misunderstanding. You don't have to be a detective always and puzzle it out off on the side. JUST ASK.
- LISTEN to what other people say about a person and their character. Do they have ADHD? Are they trustworthy, suspicious, generous, a SAINT? Devious? A back stabber? A consensus of opinions adds up
- Try best you can NOT to label a person with one word. Church lady, Player, A**hole, Cutthroat, Kind, Self-absorbed as we are ALL complex people and made up of so many parts
- Don't be trying to change others whomever you discover, just work on yourself, and come to an understanding that they are on their path with what has happened to them and all the choices they made based on their confidence or fears even. We all carry some pain.
- Above all give it time, lots of clues to come in. People REVEAL their true colors over much time
READING people BELOW the tip of the iceberg is a fascinating "game" if you will, but leave many open doors for them to improve from their weaknesses or admire great traits they have that you don't. Communication is tough even on the best of days and I have been completely misinterpreted from something I said or did with an action on a particular day and I know it is an ongoing process, FOR ALL OF US. People can't know you well in five minutes.
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