Note to the Sellers: We Won't be Buying Your House Today.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Sellers:

Thank you for letting us in your home today.  We had an opportunity to see more than I think you intended.  Sadly, we will not be coming back.

1. You left a copy of your heating bill on the table and we applaud your miserly use of energy but, really, we could not stay too long in the house as it was 60F and we had to keep our warm clothes on.  You must live with a sweater and housecoat on full time.
2. Yellow is such a cheerful colour.  Too bad you thought New York Cab yellow as appropriate for the kitchen.  We donned our sunglasses but the shine was too much.
3. Good for you for having so many friends.   With all the glasses and coffee cups scattered about, we were sure you had had a party last night and just were too exhausted to clean up after your guests left.
4. Thank you for hanging samples of your photography on the walls.  We did note that you must be peeping with your camera at your neighbours'.  We wonder if they know how much they are revealing to you and now to all your prospective Buyers.
5. Are you handy with a wrench?  The one right by the sink and toilet made us think there are plumbing problems so we didn't bother to run the water or try to flush the toilet. It was a red flag to possible plumbing problems.   
6. We did note that you must have cold feet as the carpet in the bathroom looked well worn and just a tad dirty.  
7. Finally, we thought you must have slept through the alarm this morning (and who wouldn't with all those party animals in your house last night).  I guess you ran out of time to make the bed and pick up your dirty laundry that was there right beside the hamper.  Hope you arrived to work with the same colour of sox.  It must be difficult to dress in that really dark bedroom.  

So, as I said earlier, we appreciated the chance to see your home.  We are off to see others that we hope will be cleaner and easier to view.  Good luck with your sale.

R. U. Real, Agent for Buyers with Money Who Wanted to Love Your Home

 

Photo credit:  Looking through a subway window at a girl looking through a subway window at a guy looking through a subway window...

 

Valerie Zinger  valeriezinger@gmail.com 

Ottawa, Canada      613-859-7759