Special offer

How can I get my 14yr old out of the House? Need Advice!

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Property Xchange Solutions Property Wholesaler

Ok guys, it's summer time. The kids are out of school. I have a 14 yr old daughter who doesn't want to go anywhere. She likes to sit at home, watch TV and play on the internet. I have threatened to take these things away. I would like her to have a social life. God knows when I was 14, well never mind, I won't go there. LOL! But seriously, is this healthy? I know this is a new age and the internet has opened up a whole lot of doors and offers so much information. But, I feel she should be hanging out with friends and having sleep overs, maybe even talking on the phone? I have tried to talk to her numerous times about this and she says she enjoys being home. Don't get me wrong she dosen't stay isolated from the family. Actually she babysits my 4 yr old son and makes decent money during the day. And she thoroughly enjoys "family time". Do you think maybe I scared her out of going anywhere? I have told her the truth about boys and bad situations and try to be as upfront as possible. I feel like she's missing out on alot of fun.

Maybe I should be happy she's not running around with the wrong crowd and doing harmful things. But what happens when she goes into High School this year? Any comments appreciated.

 

Thanks!

Ken Tracy
Coldwell Banker Residential - Naperville, IL
Helping clients buy and sell since 2005

Hi Callie.  Hmmm.  A 14 year old...

I am sure your girl is fine.  You are a mom.  You are supposed to worry.  You are doing a great job.  Relax.

Ken

Jul 17, 2008 01:59 PM
Julie Chapman
Julie Chapman Broker - Ormond Beach, FL
Daytona Beach Shores, Florida

Organized sports will teach her to work within a team and get her the exercise she needs...usually the county or school system will have something to offer...but of course, you get to shuttle or find another parent to co-shuttle with......my son played football and I knew where he was all the time and he got hours of exercise a day....and a college scholarship to play football.....(and all he did before he played football was watched tv and played video games and played games online). 

Jul 17, 2008 02:01 PM
Donna Harris
Donna Homes, powered by JPAR - TexasRealEstateMediationServices.com - Austin, TX
Realtor,Mediator,Ombudsman,Property Tax Arbitrator

Think about trying to just drop her off at the local recreation center or the local swimming pool.  My mom used to make my brother and me get out of the house and just go play.  The rec center can be a lot of fun, especially if you don't know anyone because there's no one to try to impress, and she might meet new friends.  Mine is only 8 months, so I'm sure things will change in another 14 years.

Jul 17, 2008 02:02 PM
Robert Vegas Bob Swetz
Las Vegas, NV

 Callie,

 I would have your daughter cut back on Internet stuff and spend some time with her. Take her to a movie, find some hobbies that she may like.

 When I would visit my sister years ago, I would take her daughter and all their friends to the mall, a movie and maybe the park.

 Spend some time with her, children grow up so fast. She will be twenty and out of the house before you know it.

Jul 17, 2008 02:15 PM
Callie Thompson
Property Xchange Solutions - Frederick, MD
Property Xchange Solutions

Thank you for all your comments.

 

Robert: I do spend time with her as does my husband and my son. I'm a little more concerned about her social life. She has friends in school but never has them over or does any extra curricular activities with them. Spending time with her family currently is not an issue. But thank you for the input. Because, trust me, I know they grow up fast!

Jul 17, 2008 02:23 PM
Gregory Lohr
West Columbia, SC

Is she an introvert where friends are concerned.  My wife is like that.  Not much you can do to make them socialize if they aren't social.

Sadly though, in today's world, with teenage girls disappearing, it's almost scarey to let them out of the house.

Jul 17, 2008 02:29 PM
Callie Thompson
Property Xchange Solutions - Frederick, MD
Property Xchange Solutions

You may be right. Maybe I should step back a little and let her grow at her own pace. She's a good kid and I don't have many complaints. Maybe I'm just looking for something, because I know the kinds of things I was into as a teen.

Jul 17, 2008 02:33 PM
Jim Albano
Prudential Damiano Realty - Little Falls, NJ
Team - Jean-Marie Vantuno / Realtors North Jersey Real Estate

Callie, she's fine. My daughter was the same way at her age. It's just their personality. Other girls from her grade were out going from party to party, drinking and God knows what else. My daughter wasn't interested in all this, and I was grateful for that. She's now 20 and has a terrific social life without all of those "life experiences" at a too young age. They grow up way too fast. Don't rush it. Enjoy your time with her now, she won't always want to be there with you. And don't be hard on yourself for being cautious with her, you're just being a good Mom.

Jul 17, 2008 02:34 PM
Sheila Reeves
Allen Tate Realtors - Greenville, SC

It is hard not to worry about your children, boys or girls.  I worried just as much as you are and my sons turned out fine.  One was an introvert and stayed in a lot; now he loves the outdoors and is a Boy Scout leader for his sons & their packs.  The younger son was a total extrovert and still is, always on the go, very social, n sales and very successful, etc.  My point is that most of the time, they will turn out fine.  Just stay aware of what/how she is doing and if she is not giving you any trouble other than being a stay-at-home kid, that is ok.

You're just like all Mom's are, we care about our kids and probably worry too much.

 

Jul 17, 2008 02:39 PM