Survey Says Men Have More Friends Online Than Women Do. Why?

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

I came across some interesting statistics today that made me think.

A survey says men have more friends online than women do. Why?

From September 2009, from Performics Survey, when asking the question, "How many friends do you have online? (from social networking sites, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Youtube, etc.)

Man Computer





180 Friends







Woman Computer





140 Friends







Now why is this? I actually was surprised because with women being the chatty type, better vocabulary and saying more words to describe something I thought they would have the higher number. Here's some of my guesses:

  • Men are naturally more nerdy and spend more time on the computer
  • Men are all about competition, and it is not quality but quantity that counts
  • Men are actually seeking lots of friends that are "women." The hunter mentality.
  • Women actually have a little more of a life than men, taking care of children, etc. thus less time on the computer. But they are not far behind
  • Early on professional networks that turned into social networks had more men in them initally to add to the friends list
  • Women would rather cultivate a closer group of "meaningful" relationships than just throw the net out there and drag in any old tin can or boot in the fishnet
  • Men have just been at this computer geek social network longer so naturally they have more contacts
  • There is no rhyme or reason as to why this is, other than the trajectory may be just like in the jobs market with women overtaking the number of mens jobs. Women may exceed mens' friends numbers eventually, this is where we just are right now.

What do you think? What is a reason or two of why men have more "friends" online today??


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Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

I'm surprised at this also.  I would have thought the opposite.  Unless there are lots of men checking out the dating sites!

Jan 25, 2010 10:44 PM #25
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Gary, this clearly relates to the "old boys network" that often excluded women.  Interesting stuff for sure.

Jan 25, 2010 11:06 PM #26
Linda Greco Rich, ABR, SRES
Exit Preferred Realty - Bel Air, MD
Harford County Specialist

My guess is that men spend more time on the computer.

Jan 25, 2010 11:42 PM #27
Suzanne McLaughlin
Sabinske & Associates, Inc. (Albertville, St. Michael) - Saint Michael, MN
Sabinske & Associates, Realtor

I agree with Lyn.  I don't have a ton of female friends.  But I do have a lot of acquaintances...I have three or four male friends.  I find it easier to talk to most of them.  I know I'm weird.  :)

Jan 26, 2010 12:51 AM #28
Larry Lawfer
YourStories Realty Group powered by Castles Unlimited® - Newton, MA
"I listen for a living." It's all about you.

I have never understood the need to have friends who aren't really your friends.  It just seems as though the concept that having more friends in social media means absolutely nothing.  I would always opt to have good friends and friends who add to my life, not people I don't know.  And yet, I am a man, go figure.

Jan 26, 2010 01:29 AM #29
Cherise Selley
Selley Group Real Estate, LLC - Colorado Springs, CO
Colorado Springs Realtor

Gary...Being part of the minority, I actually have more women as part of my network, especially among my clientele...Women seem to make most of the decisions regarding the home buying process...However, i do appreciate my male connections...Cherise

Jan 26, 2010 02:09 AM #30
Taylor Shults Philley
Austin Realty Firm - Austin, TX
Broker, Realtor , GRI

Hey Gary, my ASNYA networking group is actually going pretty well. I started it in June 2008 with only myself as a member and now we have over 800. We usually get between 15-60 people per event (twice a month) but it just depends where it is and what the weather is like and so forth. It took a while, but I finally closed a deal from it in November! I have also picked up about 3 investors that constantly list their multi-family rentals with me as well; so I'd say it's all worth it! It's just about finding the right group!


I think maybe women are more prone to protect themselves from accepting any 'friendship request' online if they don't know that person; whereas men don't have that innate sense of caution sometimes like us women get, ya know?

Jan 26, 2010 02:20 AM #31
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Gary: I think you nailed it with the competitive nature of men, and their inclination to spend more time online. 

Jan 26, 2010 03:30 AM #32
Respect Realty LLC
Respect Realty LLC - Milwaukie, OR
Brokers - Oregon / SW Washington Real Estate

I think it is we accept anyone while woman are more selective and don't want a cyber stalker.

Jan 26, 2010 03:44 AM #33
Alyce Martin
The Realty Group, LLC - Albuquerque, NM
Albuquerque - THE Place To Be!

Hi Gary - I think a lot of it is ego and competition as far as the numbers - and I do believe that women use the term "friends" differently than men.  I know a guy who says "so-and-so is a friend of mine" although they haven't seen or spoken to each other in 25 years.  What's up with that?  

Jan 26, 2010 04:08 AM #34
Gail Robinson
William Raveis Real Estate - Southport, CT
CRS, GRI, e-PRO Fairfield County, CT


I was cautious about who I accepted as Friends on Facebook until the new lists and privacy settings were put in operation a few months ago.  Now I feel comfortable accepting Facebook Friends, but I still don't say "yes" until I recognize people.  If the name doesn't ring a bell, then I don't accept the invitation. 

I have a funny feeling that men are more likely to err on the side of inclusion, thinking "Maybe I do know this person, better say yes than offend someone who is perhaps a client or a friend of an acquaintance."

Jan 26, 2010 10:32 AM #35
Joan Mirantz
Homequest Real Estate - Concord, NH
Realtor, GRI, CBR, SRES - Concord New Hampshire

Men find the need to count (like "kills" notched on a belt) and women don't bother because it doesn't matter!

Jan 27, 2010 06:39 AM #36
Irene Tron
Valparaiso, IN

Interesting!  I never would have guessed it.  All I can say is that I have more friends than my husband who does zilch with social networking and I cannot ever see him joining anything like FB.

Jan 29, 2010 02:22 PM #37
Robert Vegas Bob Swetz
Realty ONE Group - Las Vegas, NV
Las Vegas Henderson Homes for Sale

Hello Gary and this is very interesting and I believe it! I have many friends online and many are females, but Nu Nu thinks there more than friends.

VB ;o)

Jan 29, 2010 03:45 PM #38
Carol Culkin
Reece & Nichols - Leawood, KS
Overland Park

Well Gary, If you compare YOU to ME ...yes, men have more friends online and your new facebook account is all the proof anybody needs. LOL.

Feb 01, 2010 04:05 PM #39
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Hi Gary, I never thought about the why of this...I think it becomes an emotional decision and attraction to others  to whom  you can relate on a personal emotional base. If a person ( like yourself ) has the gift to touch hearts and stike an emotional bond,

What a gift....and both men and women can accomplish this.  Surveys are a litlle generic.........


Feb 01, 2010 11:36 PM #40
Judy Greenberg
Coldwell Banker Long Grove - Buffalo Grove, IL
Coldwell Banker - Buffalo Grove - Long Grove Homes

This doesn't seem right.  Where did you get these statistics Gary?????

Feb 03, 2010 11:05 AM #41
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
Judy, it was one of those factoid surveys found in USA Today.
Feb 03, 2010 11:19 AM #42
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life
  • Men are naturally more nerdy and spend more time on the computer
  • Men are all about competition, and it is not quality but quantity that counts
  • Men are actually seeking lots of friends that are "women." The hunter mentality. Gee NO surprise there. Men are looking to populate and love the attention all the ladies bring.  They love a harem. It is every man's fantasy to have all the women swooning at their feet.  No wonder a certain fella loves their new playland so much. It is ALL about the babes. <SMILE> I laughed at Carol's comment.
Feb 05, 2010 08:25 PM #43
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • Green • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

I did know that. I usually get a lot of connections on all networks quite fast, but very few of them are ''real'' connections. 

Jul 31, 2016 09:11 AM #44
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Gary Woltal

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
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