Education & Training with Performance Development Strategies

How would you describe yourself?  Real Estate Salesperson or Assistant Buyer?

People don’t like to be sold but they sure like to buy.

The school of sales that says, “Always be closing,” is closed! This is not today’s sales. And here is another fact. We are all in sales no matter what our job because we seek, at some time or another, to influence others. We need to build relationships first.

If you want to be a trusted assistant buyer, you need to be a problem solver. Here are some ways to become that problem solver.

1. Don’t use a sales pitch but instead start a conversation.

When you call someone, avoid making a mini-presentation about yourself, your company, and what you have to offer. Start with an opening conversational phrase that focuses on a specific problem that your product or service solves

2. Your central goal is always to discover whether you and your potential client are a good fit.

Let go of trying to “close the sale” or “get the appointment.” If you simply focus your conversation on problems that you can help potential clients solve, and if you don’t jump the gun by trying to move the sales process forward, you will find that potential clients will bring you into their buying process.

3. When you lose a sale, it’s usually right at the beginning of the sales process.

When you use traditional sales language, potential clients can’t help but label you with the negative stereotype of “salesperson.” This makes it almost impossible for them to relate to you from a position of trust. And if trust isn’t established at the outset, honest communication about the problems they’re trying to solve and how you might be able to help them, becomes impossible too.

4. Sales pressure is the only cause of rejection. Rejection should never happen.

To eliminate rejection, simply shift your mind-set so that you give up the hidden agenda of hoping to make a sale. Instead, everything you say and do should stem from the basic mind-set that you are there to help potential clients.

5. Never chase a potential client—you’ll only trigger more sales pressure.

Instead of chasing potential clients, tell them that you would like to avoid anything that resembles the old cat-and-mouse chasing game by scheduling a time for your next chat.

6. When a potential client offers objections, uncover the truth behind them.

Rather than trying to counter objections, you can uncover the truth by replying, “That’s not a problem”—no matter what clients are “objecting” to—and then using gentle, dignified language that invites them to reveal the truth about their situation.

7. Never defend yourself or what you have to offer—it only creates more sales pressure.

When a potential client says, “Why should I choose you over your competition?” your first, instinctive reaction is probably to start defending your product or service because you want to convince them to buy.

Rather than defending yourself, try suggesting that you aren’t going to try to convince them of anything because that would only create sales pressure. Instead, ask them about the key problems that they are trying to solve, and then explore how your product or service might solve those problems—without ever trying to persuade. Let potential clients feel that they can choose you without feeling “sold.”

Assistant Buyer

Remember, it is not about whether you get a sale but whether you can help them solve their problem.  For a similar post on our website see ARE YOU AN ASSISTANT BUYER?

Learn how to become a trusted assistant buyer.

Contact us to learn more

or call 914-953-4458.


Re-Blogged 2 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Roy Kelley 02/22/2021 01:00 AM
  2. Ginger Harper 02/15/2021 08:44 AM
Real Estate Best Practices
New York Westchester County
Coaching and Mentoring
posting picture on active rain
assistant buyer to your client
sales pitch
people dont like to be sold

Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

Congrats on a well deserved feature from Kathy. So much helpful information

Feb 14, 2021 02:50 PM #33
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
A moving experience!

I don't like to think of myself as a salesperson.  I feel more like a real estate consultant.  You find a property that you like (and hopefully I am useful in that search), and I help you navigate the process of purchasing that home.

Feb 14, 2021 07:33 PM #34
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Grant:

I am not a sales person...not to belittle that, but my role is much more than that.

Great advice here, as always!


Feb 14, 2021 07:41 PM #35
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Sometimes they really are hard to differentiate—between the dynamics and everything else that goes on.

Feb 14, 2021 09:06 PM #36
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Alan May My whole vibe is against the grain when it comes to sales I just like everything to flow in the way it should so that they get the best experience possible, you know?

Feb 14, 2021 09:07 PM #37
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Jeff Dowler, CRS There’s so much nuance to getting in person and getting the person to really figure out if they’re the right fit.

Feb 14, 2021 09:09 PM #38
Adam Feinberg
Elegran - Manhattan, NY
NYC Condo, Co-op, and Townhouse specialist

In NYC, we are Agents or Salesperson by title (we have our own trade association, so hardly any reason to join NAR and become Realtors).  With that stated, I am a salesperson that hates selling but I love Real Estate. I make it clear that my role is advisory and/or consulant. 

I know we spend a lot more time and in far greater depth as agents in NYC dealing with a buyer's finances than agents outside of the city- but it's more than just finance.  The very nature of the home buying and selling process here is so involved- it's a very deep relationship. With one client, I am discussing how 1031 exchanges can help build generational wealth and another client I am discussing how Purchase CEMA's can help seal a deal when buyer and seller still have a gap. A Third client wants to buy a co-op, but needs help understanding that not all co-op's permit family gifts toward the purchase or how to build a financial profile to maximize the odds of an accepted offer without being the highest offer price. A forth client is buying a condo, but the buyer is receiving family gift funds from abroad- but that country has annual transfer limits out of the country. I needed to connect the buyer with bankers that are able to underwrite portfolio loans taking into account that the buyer will qualify with the additonal gift money from abroad during the following year and be able to recast the principal amount without a refinance needed. These are but a few of the situations I have discussed with clients in the last few weeks. 

If I was simply a salesperson, I wouldn't be this entangled so deeply into the client's lives- I would be an order taker and and an order filler. 

Feb 14, 2021 09:33 PM #40
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

What do you provide for value? Why having you in the mix buying and selling will make the process go smoother? Be educational and communicate all along the way so no one is left in the dark in confusion or has answered questions. Real estate is fixed based so live and local real estate professessionals should dominate over an RTZ acting like they know everything local.

Feb 15, 2021 03:36 AM #41
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

Be a problem solver - and there are so many problems to solve during a real estate transaction

Feb 15, 2021 05:08 AM #42
Michael J. Perry
KW Elite - Lancaster, PA
Lancaster, PA Relo Specialist

I see us as a Navigator who coaches and guides Home Buyers through the whole process with advice and counsel.

Feb 15, 2021 05:19 AM #43
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Real Estate

so true, help them solve a problem.

Feb 15, 2021 07:38 AM #44
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Such great advice. I can smell a pushy person a mile away. Salesperson or otherwise. Who wants to be around that overbearing energy?

Feb 15, 2021 08:40 AM #45
Anna Banana Kruchten CRS CRB, Phoenix Broker
HomeSmart Real Estate BR030809000 - Phoenix, AZ

Hi Grant this has long been my philosphy - build relationships and trust that goes both ways and the rest will follow.  Excellent article!

Feb 15, 2021 09:48 AM #46
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Consultative sales is what this job truly is.   Helping people is truly the name of the game.

Feb 15, 2021 05:20 PM #47
Number Cruncher LLC - Overton, NV
Helping Taxpayers Resolve IRS problems

Thank you.  These are all awesome tips and items I need help with.


Feb 15, 2021 07:26 PM #48
Brad Thomsen
Big Bear Realty - Edmonds, WA
Real Estate Services

Sell Me This Pen,.. Yeah, I'm that Brad... #way of the wolf #wolfofwallstreet

Feb 16, 2021 04:48 AM #49
Mike McCann - Nebraska Farm Land Broker
Mike McCann - Broker, Mach1 Realty Farmland Broker-Auctioneer Serving Rural Nebraska - Kearney, NE
Farm Land For Sale 308-627-3700 or 800-241-3940

So many great answers here so I will try to be short. 

I do not charge any commission to buyers or sellers.  I do however charge a Professional Service Fee to those who choose to use my services. 

I only ask that we meet one time if they want to and chat over a cup of coffee.

To those who do not...I wish them luck and stay out of their way.  And I tell them that I will not call or text in the future.

I can tell 5 minutes into any conversation whether they will use me...not use me...use me in the future...or I whether I will walk away and decline to consult with them now or in the future. 

I do not use pressure and I do not "drip" on them. We are either a team or we had a nice conversation and maybe some day down the road will they will request my services.  Has worked well for me for years.

Have I lost some deals along the way using this method?  Most likely. 

Have I lost more than I have gained?  Definitely not. 

Does it upset me if I do not get the listing or buyer? No

Did it use to?  Yes! 

Have I had those who did not use me change their mind and use me?  Many times.

My job is to help others be succesful in their endeavors...and if that means I step away so that can happen...great.  If they then on down the road want my help...I will most likely get involved...but not always.

I try to treat others how I want treated...and being pushy or overbearing will just push me farther away. I assume they would think the same way.

Right or wrong...I am not changing now.   Thanks for a great blog and all the great responses.  M

Feb 16, 2021 11:03 AM #50
Debe Maxwell, CRS | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Oh, I am SO not a 'salesman,' Grant! That is for sure - I will find them their dream home because I dig into what they want with questions but, never pressure them to buy. 

My bigggest struggle in this current market is that I worry that I DO sound like a salesman - "You don't have tonight to sleep on it - we will be competing with others so, we need to talk strategy." I hate saying that - it's SO not me but, I HAVE to if I want my clients in their dream homes! 

I'll be thrilled when we become a more neutral market here - and I can go back to, "just let me know when you're ready!!"

Fantastic post and comments too. Congratulations on the feature. Great seeing you today!

Feb 16, 2021 01:17 PM #51
Erik Hiss
Keller Williams Capital Partners Realty - Worthington, OH
You can trust me for all your real estate needs!

Thanks for the food for thought. I completely agree with Mike McCann. That is exactly how I run my business and it also has worked well over the years. Works more than 90% of the time and yes I will lose some, but will gain some as well. Treat others as you like to be treated and life will be good.

Feb 17, 2021 09:43 AM #52
Tom Bailey
Margaret Rudd & Associates Inc. - Oak Island, NC

My job is to be a trusted Real Estate advisor. I don't sell,  I advise! I tell my clients from the beginning, I am in charge of the process, you are in charge of ALL DECISIONS! I tell them I will point what I think are mistakes they want to make! If they still want to make the mistake, I will do everything I can to make things work out! 

Feb 19, 2021 04:35 PM #53
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?


Grant Schneider

Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes
What is success to you?

Additional Information