Nearly seven months ago, I wrote part 2 of a 4-part series with the intention of completing it a long time ago. As is often the case, life happened, and this series kept getting pushed down the priority list. Since it has been so long since the last installment, it would probably be helpful to go back and start from the beginning.
The post announcing this series was called Bits & Pieces. The first installment entitled So Many Faces In And Out Of My Life followed shortly thereafter. In December, the most recent installment entitled Some Will Last, Some Will Just Be Now And Then was posted. After a lengthy hiatus, I present to you part 3...Life Is A Series Of Hellos And Goodbyes.
The last installment ended with an observation that college was the beginning of having people come in and out of my life with regularity, although I wasn't aware of it at the time. In my younger years, I just rolled with the changes, and never gave much thought to the fact that our relationships with others have a way of bookmarking a specific time and place in our lives. This is something that I've only come to fully realize within the last year or so.
My first real job out of college was at Billboard Magazine, a trade paper known as the "bible of the music industry." While my desire was to work at a record label, my first opportunity to work in the music industry was at Billboard. My plans were to use Billboard as a launching pad to land a job at a record label, however even the best laid plans don't always come to fruition. As I started to get promoted through the ranks, my salary grew, and I didn't want to take a step backwards to an entry-level job at a record label. Furthermore, I was enjoying my time at Billboard, but not solely because of the job.
When I started working at Billboard, I was in my early 20's. A good portion of the staff was made up of twenty-somethings as well, and since we spent so much time together, we became friends outside of work. Much like my grade school experience or my freshman dorm, working at Billboard provided a nice comfort zone for me. Billboard was by no means a perfect working environment, and many of us disagreed with the corporate policies and management decisions, but we had each other to talk to (usually after work over drinks at a local bar or during our lunch hour). Looking back, I think that it's safe to say that many of us stayed with the company as long as we did because of our network of friends, more than the opportunities that working there provided.
In the moment, I was convinced that the group dynamic that we shared would remain regardless of whether we worked together or not. I was wrong! Despite our best efforts, the fact remains that changing jobs meant changing our lives. Keeping in touch with friends is easier said than done, especially when the tie that binds you is broken. As we move on to new opportunities, we create new friendships. As we get older, the number of hours in the day seems to diminish, and we are forced to prioritize which relationships we are going to devote the most amount of time to. Inevitably, the people that you communicate with on a daily basis rise to the top of your priority list, and most of the people from your past start to fall down the list as time passes. Very few people will stand the test of time and circumstance. It's just the way that life is.
Through the years, I have seen people come in and out of my life. When I was living in the moment, it seemed impossible to think that some of these people would become nothing more than an occasional contact or out of my life completely. To put this into perspective, I've been married for only eight years, and I can honestly say that if I were to get married today, many of the people that came to my wedding wouldn't be invited, and many others would. In fact, there are even some people who attended my wedding whose names I probably wouldn't even remember.
Some people believe that there is no such thing as coincidence, and that things happen for a reason. Those that subscribe to this theory often times believe that people are destined to be in our lives for a specific time period, and then move on. I'm not sure what to believe, although my life experience would seem to indicate that this theory is true. However, this doesn't mean that people that were once in your life cannot come back again.
There are a number of people that I've been able to get back in touch with through the Internet and social networking. Many of the people that I've lost touch with are people that I would like to reconnect with. Will the friendships ever be the same as they originally were? Probably not, especially because our lives have evolved during the time apart, and the ties that bound us together no longer exist. Maintaining friendships in a busy life is not easy to do. Without the common bond, it takes work to stay in touch.
Maybe people really are meant to be in our lives for specific amounts of time. Most people have probably had similar experiences to the ones that I have had. The post titles of this series are lyrics from Billy Joel's song "Say Goodbye To Hollywood." These lyrics were the ones that appeared most in my high school yearbook under a number of students' photos, and have turned out to be more prophetic than most of them probably ever envisioned.
I'm not sure that most people spend a lot of time thinking about this concept, but I've always been very nostalgic, so perhaps I am more affected by seeing "so many faces in and out of my life." Realizing that "some will last" and that "some will just be now and then," is something that I've finally accepted, and I understand that I can't change the fact that "life IS a series of hellos and goodbyes!"
The final post in this series...I'm Afraid, It's Time For Goodbye Again will be posted tomorrow. When you read it, you will understand why I waited to complete the series.
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