Buyer Birds and Bees

I wonder, do you have "THE TALK" with your buyers? If so, what are you saying?

I recently referred a buyer out to my partner. She has been calling me for about a year. I would hear from her every couple of months when she would have a question on real estate. She was back and forth with her decision to buy a home and decided a couple of months ago to take the dive. I was happy for her that she had finally made her choice. BUT, my plate was full. I was working with quite a few buyers at the time she called me and I knew I wouldn't be able to give her the attention and care she needed so I decided to refer her to my right hand man in real estate because I knew he would take good care of her.

My partner would call me on updates on what they were doing and I'd check in with her from time to time to see how she was doing. Her road has been an emotional one. She found a home pretty quickly, submitted an offer, and it was accepted. Problem: the listing was a short sale and shortly after the agreement was signed, the seller decided she wanted to keep her home and her bank granted her a loan modification.

A few days passed by and she found another home, an offer was submitted and rejected because the seller accepted a higher offer.

After a couple more disappointments, she calls me and tells me how discouraged she was getting with this process and how it was so emotionally draining. Then I had an "Ah haaaaaa" moment. I referred out but hadn't had "THE TALK" with her.

*I make sure to have "THE TALK" with all of my buyers.*

I told her that since we hadn't gone out together, I hadn't had the chance to have "THE TALK" with her like I have with all of my other client's on our first outing. She says to me, "Well what's that?" Then I began to give her the talk:

"Ok, I'm just going to give it to you real here. This is not meant to scare you but to prepare you. This process can be a bitch at times and at times it can be your best friend. I tell this to everyone so when these ups and downs come, you're well prepared and you're expecting it. This search can get on your nerves. What you're going through is typical and honey, you ain't seen NOTHIN' yet. I've seen worse. I sometimes like to liken this process to labor. It can suck and take you through all types of pain and the best part about it is the birth at the closing table. You get anxious. You get emotional. No matter how thorough and proactive we are, a wrench can come from any direction and knock you off your square. You can have your eyes set on a house and your offer can get rejected. You can have your eyes set on a house and be in contract and then the inspection comes and unveils a bunch of issues that you never expected. And while we can simply ask the seller to make repairs, they can and sometimes will give us hell about them. There can be issues with the title. And let's not talk about the bank who can wait until the last minute to drop a bomb that that you may or may not be able to recover from which is why I always give the advice to always have more money than is expected for closing costs for those little "just in case moments". Now once, again, I don't mean to scare you but I need to make sure to prepare you."

Her reply, "Wow, I never knew. So what I am going through is typical?" "Yes ma'am," I said to her.

A couple weeks later when she started to get discouraged because she hadn't found anything else to her liking yet, she called me and thanked me for "THE TALK" because had she hadn't heard my brutally honest talk, she would've thrown in the towel in her search.

What I find is that my talk, though brutal, is effective. Every time a buyer faces a challenge, I get the same response, "You told me to be prepared for these things. I'm glad you did."

So, back to my original question, do you have "THE TALK" with your buyers?