Many of you know that I recently bought a home. 

And, for those of you that don’t know that I recently bought a home…I recently bought a homeHere’s proof.  

Although we are very happy with our home we did purchase, during this process, I happened to notice that as we viewed house after house, I kept seeing the same things happen over and over.  And….not good things.  Bad things.  Bad things that were blatantly obvious to me.  Bad things that literally turned me off.  Bad things that were keeping this otherwise fine house I was standing in from selling faster.

So, as we went through the homes, I started keeping track of things that I saw that made the average buyer – ME – want to run away screaming.  Here is my “Top 10 Seller Sins”:

1. Addition Addiction – Ok…exactly what were these people thinking when they added this addtion to their home??  It isnt level.  The door frame isnt square.  And, that simulated wood-grain indoor/outdoor burber carpeting is HIDEOUS!!  Wasn’t this were the garage should be anyway??  I guess that explains the severely sun-faded paint job on the Sport Family Truckster in the driveway and the Christmas decorations piled floor-to-ceiling in the closet in the spare bedroom.  I don’t care what anyone says…Bigger is NOT always better.

2. The “Pet-Owner Moaner” – The over-all assumption that since the seller loves their pets more than chocolate, so does everyone else.  Here are a couple of quotes I heard directly from the sellers mouths: “Awwww, my cat must really like you to nestle into your neck like that.”; “I know he looks big, but he is really just a teddy bear.”; “We were able to clean up everything in the house except the cat room.”; “I cant remember if my son put away the ferrets or not, but feel free to look around downstairs.”
a.  Ok…first and foremost, Im allergic to cats.  I don’t mean that cats make me sneeze.  I mean that I quit breathing and require adrenallin shots to keep from dieing.  That thing is lucky I didn’t toss it out the open window that was next to me. 
b. The “teddy bear” they were referring to…Yeah, that was a 158lb Rotweiller with a googlie eye and a broken tooth on the right side.  His chain was tied to a cinder block that he happily drug around and tossed into the air during “playtime”. 
c. The “cat room”???  Oh Lord in heaven!!!
d. If you cant figure out if your son left out a pack of rodents in the dark rooms down the creaky stairs without a safety rail and a working light switch, you can be damn sure Im not going to find out for you.

3. Auditory Unawareness – If you cant hear that your refridgerator is making a clicking noise that can be heard from the front yard, Im fairly sure you cant hear the floorboards creaking, the doors squeaking, or the apparent family of raccoons living in the attic.  You also only hear what you want to hear.  Instead of “Your house is priced too high”, you hear “Your house is of a high value”.  Its not the same.  Pay attention!

4. Color BlindHoly Lord!!  Who decorated this place??  Its like Andy Worhol threw his color pallet into a Cuisinart and hit ‘liquify’.  The fuscia flower print wallpaper needs to go.  And, I don’t carew what you say, it doesn’t do any justice to that wall with the fake woodgrain panelling it joins up to by the sunshine yellow couch.  Worse yet…the white cabinets, white-washed walls, white countertops, and white tile is just a bit much. 

5. “Take it or leave it” – Yup.  Heard that come right out of a seller’s own mouth.  We were discussing the possiblity of him making a necessary repair to a sliding glass door that lead out to a deck.  Between the glass panes was about half an inch of standing water.  Obviously, the seals on the window were compromised.  When asked if he would spend the money to get the glass replaced and the seales re-done…or just replace the entire door…that was the response I got.  Guess what…I left it.

6. Price-itis – The fear that your home wont sell for the price you are asking for it.  I put in an offer on a home that was only $5,000 under what was being asked.  The counter came back with a reduction of $1,000, but a clause to pay $4,000 in closing costs.  Now, I may be bad at math…but, isnt that the same damn thing???? 

7. Fried Food Funk – You know what Im talking about here.  If you can smell it, you won’t sell it.  Bottom line here is that fried food smells, kitty litter, a back yard filled with dog crap, a nursery reaking of dirty diapers, etc…all add up to one thing – a very short showing.  (Well, it also leads to gagging, shortness of breath, tears streaming down your face, and everyone skrunching up their nose and making that internationally known face that says, “Do you SMELL that???”)

8. Photog Fog – Everyone should take pride in their family photographs.  I do.  But, Im not trying to sell my house!  I went into one home where, I kid you not, the entire living walls…every square inch…was covered in frame pics of family.  There must have been 100 pictures in that room.  Frames mounted together like a patchwork quilt of memories and bad matting jobs.  Love the sentiment…love the family pride.  But, I was COMPLETELY distracted from seeing the actual house. 

9. “I collect them” No kidding, really???  Nothing would have made me realize you collect dolls were it not for the fact that Im now suddenly very aware of the fact that 226 eyes are now following me through your house like Chucky with an ax to grind.  Yeah, I couldn’t tell that you collect Vegas casino ash trays since they are on every flat surface in your entire house including 4 separate 6-ft tall bookshelves, your coffee table, the top of your TV, the end-tables,  and the extra two shelves that you put up encircling the entire living room.  But, worse than that, you have them on your toilet tank, your dresser…and in an amazing twist, you have drilled holes in them and replaced half of the doorknobs in your house with them.  In case your agent hasn’t told you this….PACK THIS CRAP UP!

10. Livin in the past – I don’t care what you think, the pea soup green shag carpeting is not coming back in style.  And, regardless of how many memories are associated with it, the nine-foot long, hunter orange, faux-leather couch on the wooden legs with the sleigh-style arms on the each end is FREAKING UGLY!!  Regardless of whether or not they still work, the matching avocado green stove, fridge, and counter tops are ugly…and they are ugly 24/7/365.  If you want to move this house…replace this ferocious eyesore.  Better yet…HIRE A HOME STAGER!

Yeah, selling a house is hard.  Selling a house in the market is harder.  Selling one of THESE houses with a seller that sins like this…nearly impossible.  Sellers, if you are reading this…listen to your agents.  Agents, if you are reading this…make sure your sellers understand that buyers – like me – will look at these like neither of you know what you are doing and act accordingly.  Probably by running away quick.

 

 

 

If you would like more information about Real Estate Client Referrals and how we can send you more clients to work with, please contact Clint Miller at 800-977-7058.  Or, follow me on twitter www.twitter.com/TheRealClint.

 
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219 Comments on The Sins Of A Seller

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

JUL
27
2009

Love this!! I sometimes wish I could use language like this with clients, but I have to be a little more gentle.

Thanks for writing this. Made me laugh.

3:45pm • #203
JUL
28
2009
188,783 Points 44 Featured Posts

George -- Yikes!

Katherine -- Well...you CAN use language like this, but the results wont be nearly as funny. ;-)

7:00am • #204

Right on! These are things I repeat to my clients again and again. It's great to that SOME realtors are on the same page.

I will share your article with my home sellers.

Bonnie Carter

Staged results Barrie, ON

Bonnie Carter
7:16am • #205
188,783 Points 44 Featured Posts

Bonnie -- I think most -- if not all -- of them "get it" (Realtors, that is...).  But, with seller's like this, there isnt much you can do other than walk away.  And, to be honest, in some of these cases, I would have. ;-)

7:29am • #206
JUL
31
2009
324,296 Points 32 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Clint I did not get a chance to see this one earlier.  it is great.  Hope you are enjoying your new place and sorry about your sniffles!

5:44am • #207
188,783 Points 44 Featured Posts

Paddy -- Thank you very much! Im very happy that so many people have enjoyed it.  The new place is AWESOME!!!  We love it very much!  The sniffles...yeah, that part sucks. ;-)

7:17am • #208
167,693 Points 1 Featured Post

Hey...I just toured one of those listing this morning with a client! lol  People never cease to amaze me.  You would think by now, home sellers would be onto the obvious and eager to at least try to sell their house.

6:15pm • #209
AUG
03
2009
188,783 Points 44 Featured Posts

Stuart -- LOL!  It seems that the truth really is stranger than fiction. ;-)

7:12am • #210
AUG
05
2009
Outside Blog

This is probably one of the funniest I've read on here. Two things - one I actually turned a million dollar listing down b/c they committed several sins and refused to repent - one of which was a full fledged cat room - they took a bedroom and kept the cats in their exclusively, complete with floor to ceiling scratching posts. The attached bathroom was the cat's bathroom including turning the bathtub into a litter box - and it STUNK. But they loved it and said it had to be listed that way. The house went through two agents and has yet to sell, wonder why?

Second - my new slogan "If you can smell it, you won't sell it"

11:00pm • #211
AUG
07
2009
157,065 Points 8 Featured Posts Hit Router

Clint - I reblogged your post and am planning to use it in a communications packet for our sellers if you don't mind (I'll just link to it from an email.) Still has me laughing. :)

Are you sure you're not ready to buy another home yet? It was fun home shopping with you guys!

 

10:35am • #212
188,783 Points 44 Featured Posts

Monica -- No worries!!!  Id be honored!!

And...No. ;-)

10:38am • #213
AUG
18
2009
Attended Rain Camp

I can STILL remember, 14 years later, the curry smell that permeated one house we looked at when shopping for our house.  Needless to say it didn't make our short list...

3:15pm • #214
AUG
19
2009
188,783 Points 44 Featured Posts

Michelle -- Curry??  Oh man...lol

7:02am • #215
OCT
19
2009
130,671 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

This came through on the feature and right on, it should have been a feature. I knew as I was reading, you would have so many comments from agents who know exactly what you are talking about. So glad you found a home you like! Best!

11:07am • #216
188,783 Points 44 Featured Posts

Paula -- This came through on a Feature?? Interesting...It was featured previously. :-) But...LOVED writing this blog! :-) Had more fun writing it than any other post I have written :-)

11:11am • #217
NOV
19
2009

Rofl, this is the funniest post I've read thusfar on Active-rain, well written...humor is great medicine.  I'd like to add one for the record books for the WTH file.  While showing a house last year I can across a broken sliding glass door held shut with (and I'm not kidding) an old prosthetic leg.  It was actually a good fit (as it kept the door shut tightly) but left my buyers with such an odd memory that the house (though other-wise exactly what they were looking for) wasn't even a consideration.  I also showed these people a home owned by another REALTOR that was so encrusted with cigarette smoke the wife could not even walk past the entry.  People, it's not rocket science!  When it comes to simple staging just put yourself in the buyers shoes and think what would seem unacceptable to you then work from there.  Great post!

12:33pm • #218
188,783 Points 44 Featured Posts

Brian -- Glad you like the post! :-)

A fake leg??? Really??? ROTFL!!!

12:36pm • #219
MAR
05
2010

I came across your posting while looking for info about how to stage a home.  I am not selling my home but I realized when sellers "stage" their homes, they look better than ever and some even say if they knew it could look that good, they would not be selling it.  So now I stage my home and it looks good enough to stay in!

I guess I didn't laugh at this so much as my mouth was on the floor.  I do understand, though, because my brother-in-law and his live-in gf have tried to sell their home at least 3-4 different times over the last 5 years.  They can't sell. The last time I was in their home, it was the nicest and cleanest it has ever looked. 

Here's the thing -- you are all right -- sellers do not listen and some say the dumbest things.  We (our family) told them what the agent told them for years but especially to sell:  get rid of the clutter and crap.  They put the majority of it in storage pods.  Unfortunately, for a year they kept the pod in their driveway until the neighbors complained of the eye sore.  They still had a "den" that was stacked floor to ceiling with "stuff" and they left a path to get to the computer.  And they left used, oily car parts on the sun porch but removed all the furnishings.  Doh...  They still kept the huge parrot cage in the tiny dining room (guess they don't know that is a health hazard not to mention just plain gross). 

Get this -- the agent told them to get rid of all the stuff they don't use everyday and they responded with -- this is the "kicker" -- "We use it all everyday." 

Of course they don't.  That's when they finally put her (cheap) doll collection and his (cheap) model car collection in the storage pod.  No, the dolls have no real value, they are cheap crap, ditto the model cars.  And of course, they don't "use" those at all, much less everyday. 

Every year they "remodel" too ... the bathroom has been done at least 4 times in the last 10 years.  And it doesn't look any better than it was -- just a lot cleaner.  So it's an improvement.    The kitchen is on it's fourth metamorphis too.  It took them a long time to realize their "designer" colors on the walls did not appeal to anyone but them.  The living room had one copper wall (metallic, yes) and the other three walls were painted "denim blue".  I give them credit though, they realized they need not paint the little white stitching all around the walls to make it look like denim jeans.  Uh-huh. 

They finally painted the majority of the walls white.  They had an odd front garden going and finally got rid of that -- it's always way too much stuff planted in it AND they put all kinds of garden crap in it too (think ugly cheap gnomes) and tiny cheap wind chimes hanging from the mini-magnolia tree.  They did get rid of their other "improvement" in the back yard too -- they poured cement "steps" and it was not thick enough and ran all over the place. 

So they are at last removing the "crap" but still have plenty left to get rid of.

They did clean out their garage one year but there is still plenty in there.  At least now they can fit one of their four cars in their two car garage. 

Packrats, I guess?  Needless to say, they still haven't been able to sell their home so they brought back into their home all the crap that was in the pod.  I am afraid to step back into their home but they have taken over the family holiday get together.  So I guess I am stuck eating Christmas dinner on paper plates with plasticware and sitting someplace other than the dining room/parrot room. 

Again, this is all true and not funny.  But I am glad someone can actually laugh at this stuff. 

When looking for a home 15 years ago, we found some nice ones but the "improvements" the seller made were anything but.  They consisted of square mirror tiles on the ceiling of a room (not the bedroom either).  What's up with that (pun intended)?  Another had installed cornices that were not straight anywhere.  Basically, it made my husband and I say, that will take us so much time to rip out the "improvements" to improve it that it is not worth it to us.  As you say, SAD.  And the thing is, one of the sellers is an MD!  He has the money to hire someone to do it right.  SAD.  He did finally sell it but for much less than he asked -- and that was DURING the housing boom, not after the crash.  That should have told him something. 

Anyway, thanks for writing this.  I am sure you agents and stagers see more crap than I do on a consistent basis.  It is good you keep your sense of humor about it!  God knows, I can't.  I wish I could but can't.  I will, however, share this with my husband.  I think he will laugh just realizing his brother is one of those sellers who says things like "We use all of it everyday."  And does not take advise from others well.  

Oh, yeah, the sun porch was an add on that was not done right and leaks.  They are thinking to take it down (Good!) but not replacing it (Bad -- the house is too small and dark without it).  Oh well, we'll see what they decide to do to "improve" it.  ;)

Thanks again!

Jaycee
12:16pm • #220

I came across your posting while looking for info about how to stage a home.  I am not selling my home but I realized when sellers "stage" their homes, they look better than ever and some even say if they knew it could look that good, they would not be selling it.  So now I stage my home and it looks good enough to stay in!

I guess I didn't laugh at this so much as my mouth was on the floor.  I do understand, though, because my brother-in-law and his live-in gf have tried to sell their home at least 3-4 different times over the last 5 years.  They can't sell. The last time I was in their home, it was the nicest and cleanest it has ever looked. 

Here's the thing -- you are all right -- sellers do not listen and some say the dumbest things.  We (our family) told them what the agent told them for years but especially to sell:  get rid of the clutter and crap.  They put the majority of it in storage pods.  Unfortunately, for a year they kept the pod in their driveway until the neighbors complained of the eye sore.  They still had a "den" that was stacked floor to ceiling with "stuff" and they left a path to get to the computer.  And they left used, oily car parts on the sun porch but removed all the furnishings.  Doh...  They still kept the huge parrot cage in the tiny dining room (guess they don't know that is a health hazard not to mention just plain gross). 

Get this -- the agent told them to get rid of all the stuff they don't use everyday and they responded with -- this is the "kicker" -- "We use it all everyday." 

Of course they don't.  That's when they finally put her (cheap) doll collection and his (cheap) model car collection in the storage pod.  No, the dolls have no real value, they are cheap crap, ditto the model cars.  And of course, they don't "use" those at all, much less everyday. 

Every year they "remodel" too ... the bathroom has been done at least 4 times in the last 10 years.  And it doesn't look any better than it was -- just a lot cleaner.  So it's an improvement.    The kitchen is on it's fourth metamorphis too.  It took them a long time to realize their "designer" colors on the walls did not appeal to anyone but them.  The living room had one copper wall (metallic, yes) and the other three walls were painted "denim blue".  I give them credit though, they realized they need not paint the little white stitching all around the walls to make it look like denim jeans.  Uh-huh. 

They finally painted the majority of the walls white.  They had an odd front garden going and finally got rid of that -- it's always way too much stuff planted in it AND they put all kinds of garden crap in it too (think ugly cheap gnomes) and tiny cheap wind chimes hanging from the mini-magnolia tree.  They did get rid of their other "improvement" in the back yard too -- they poured cement "steps" and it was not thick enough and ran all over the place. 

So they are at last removing the "crap" but still have plenty left to get rid of.

They did clean out their garage one year but there is still plenty in there.  At least now they can fit one of their four cars in their two car garage. 

Packrats, I guess?  Needless to say, they still haven't been able to sell their home so they brought back into their home all the crap that was in the pod.  I am afraid to step back into their home but they have taken over the family holiday get together.  So I guess I am stuck eating Christmas dinner on paper plates with plasticware and sitting someplace other than the dining room/parrot room. 

Again, this is all true and not funny.  But I am glad someone can actually laugh at this stuff. 

When looking for a home 15 years ago, we found some nice ones but the "improvements" the seller made were anything but.  They consisted of square mirror tiles on the ceiling of a room (not the bedroom either).  What's up with that (pun intended)?  Another had installed cornices that were not straight anywhere.  Basically, it made my husband and I say, that will take us so much time to rip out the "improvements" to improve it that it is not worth it to us.  As you say, SAD.  And the thing is, one of the sellers is an MD!  He has the money to hire someone to do it right.  SAD.  He did finally sell it but for much less than he asked -- and that was DURING the housing boom, not after the crash.  That should have told him something. 

Anyway, thanks for writing this.  I am sure you agents and stagers see more crap than I do on a consistent basis.  It is good you keep your sense of humor about it!  God knows, I can't.  I wish I could but can't.  I will, however, share this with my husband.  I think he will laugh just realizing his brother is one of those sellers who says things like "We use all of it everyday."  And does not take advise from others well.  

Oh, yeah, the sun porch was an add on that was not done right and leaks.  They are thinking to take it down (Good!) but not replacing it (Bad -- the house is too small and dark without it).  Oh well, we'll see what they decide to do to "improve" it.  ;)

Thanks again!

Jaycee
12:16pm • #221

I came across your posting while looking for info about how to stage a home.  I am not selling my home but I realized when sellers "stage" their homes, they look better than ever and some even say if they knew it could look that good, they would not be selling it.  So now I stage my home and it looks good enough to stay in!

I guess I didn't laugh at this so much as my mouth was on the floor.  I do understand, though, because my brother-in-law and his live-in gf have tried to sell their home at least 3-4 different times over the last 5 years.  They can't sell. The last time I was in their home, it was the nicest and cleanest it has ever looked. 

Here's the thing -- you are all right -- sellers do not listen and some say the dumbest things.  We (our family) told them what the agent told them for years but especially to sell:  get rid of the clutter and crap.  They put the majority of it in storage pods.  Unfortunately, for a year they kept the pod in their driveway until the neighbors complained of the eye sore.  They still had a "den" that was stacked floor to ceiling with "stuff" and they left a path to get to the computer.  And they left used, oily car parts on the sun porch but removed all the furnishings.  Doh...  They still kept the huge parrot cage in the tiny dining room (guess they don't know that is a health hazard not to mention just plain gross). 

Get this -- the agent told them to get rid of all the stuff they don't use everyday and they responded with -- this is the "kicker" -- "We use it all everyday." 

Of course they don't.  That's when they finally put her (cheap) doll collection and his (cheap) model car collection in the storage pod.  No, the dolls have no real value, they are cheap crap, ditto the model cars.  And of course, they don't "use" those at all, much less everyday. 

Every year they "remodel" too ... the bathroom has been done at least 4 times in the last 10 years.  And it doesn't look any better than it was -- just a lot cleaner.  So it's an improvement.    The kitchen is on it's fourth metamorphis too.  It took them a long time to realize their "designer" colors on the walls did not appeal to anyone but them.  The living room had one copper wall (metallic, yes) and the other three walls were painted "denim blue".  I give them credit though, they realized they need not paint the little white stitching all around the walls to make it look like denim jeans.  Uh-huh. 

They finally painted the majority of the walls white.  They had an odd front garden going and finally got rid of that -- it's always way too much stuff planted in it AND they put all kinds of garden crap in it too (think ugly cheap gnomes) and tiny cheap wind chimes hanging from the mini-magnolia tree.  They did get rid of their other "improvement" in the back yard too -- they poured cement "steps" and it was not thick enough and ran all over the place. 

So they are at last removing the "crap" but still have plenty left to get rid of.

They did clean out their garage one year but there is still plenty in there.  At least now they can fit one of their four cars in their two car garage. 

Packrats, I guess?  Needless to say, they still haven't been able to sell their home so they brought back into their home all the crap that was in the pod.  I am afraid to step back into their home but they have taken over the family holiday get together.  So I guess I am stuck eating Christmas dinner on paper plates with plasticware and sitting someplace other than the dining room/parrot room. 

Again, this is all true and not funny.  But I am glad someone can actually laugh at this stuff. 

When looking for a home 15 years ago, we found some nice ones but the "improvements" the seller made were anything but.  They consisted of square mirror tiles on the ceiling of a room (not the bedroom either).  What's up with that (pun intended)?  Another had installed cornices that were not straight anywhere.  Basically, it made my husband and I say, that will take us so much time to rip out the "improvements" to improve it that it is not worth it to us.  As you say, SAD.  And the thing is, one of the sellers is an MD!  He has the money to hire someone to do it right.  SAD.  He did finally sell it but for much less than he asked -- and that was DURING the housing boom, not after the crash.  That should have told him something. 

Anyway, thanks for writing this.  I am sure you agents and stagers see more crap than I do on a consistent basis.  It is good you keep your sense of humor about it!  God knows, I can't.  I wish I could but can't.  I will, however, share this with my husband.  I think he will laugh just realizing his brother is one of those sellers who says things like "We use all of it everyday."  And does not take advise from others well.  

Oh, yeah, the sun porch was an add on that was not done right and leaks.  They are thinking to take it down (Good!) but not replacing it (Bad -- the house is too small and dark without it).  Oh well, we'll see what they decide to do to "improve" it.  ;)

Thanks again!

Jaycee
12:16pm • #222

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