Can I Be Such a Good Friend that you Don't Want to Do Business With Me?

I think it's important for us to understand the actual message in this case. It's not the "we don't trust you, we don't believe in your professionalism", but rather "we want to stay friends with you, we might have issues that we don't like to share" - they might not want to share information on financial situation  - even though you are not a mortgage broker... Also, it might be hard to tell them that their decorating tyle is outdated, and curb appeal is not so great... Yet when you were over for a Sunday bbq, you kept saying "oh, you have a wonderful beautiful home!" (and you meant it!). 

They want to be friends with you, and if they can REFER you to someone  - that would be great, will bring you more business... 

Courtney,

I did a deal with a relative and it came back to haunt me. Won't do it again.

I think that when people say that, they really mean...  I think that agent is better then you...  So if we act like agents, and show our friends that we are valid, then this will happen less...

Courtney it is even worse when your best friend has a service that you could use but you know they are not as good as some of their competition :)

Courtney - You have some interesting points.  I think we've all experienced this once or twice.  I've built friendships out of clients and clients out of friendships; I've also not worked with people because they were friends/family.  I feel like friendships are easier to work with than family; and, it's very understandable, at least as a mortgage loan officer, if a friend/family member feels uncomfortable sharing private financial information with you.  Personally, I would still prefer to work with people I don't know, over family; sometimes the relationship disrupts our objectivity and we become too involved in the process to give the best advice.  Bottom line, though, is that we should be a little more picky about who we work with, and who we allow to work with us.

Courtney, I steer away from it, I would rather just get referrals from family and friends.

Some friends and relatives of agents don't want to do business with them for a variety of reasons.  I don't have any issues with the reasons.

There may be different angles on this. Perhaps the friendship IS too valuable to risk over a faulty ceiling fan. Sometimes it works and sometimes it is best to leave it alone.

This still bothers me when it happens but I will say when I am interviewed to work with potential clients I turn it around as say the same thing. Strange though that folks would choose a stranger over someone they already trust!

Courtney, I can see your point of view. However, sometimes when you are too close, friends/family prefer to work with outsiders.

Maybe they are just uncomfortable with sharing their financial information with a friend?

Courtney - I agree with Donna, many times friends or family don't want to share financial information. We help many of our family, friends and church members with real estate, but always understand if they don't choose us...

I've done one deal with a fairly close friend. Six months after the house closed, she discovered information that she should have found out about when she did (or actually DIDN'T do) her due diligence. Now I am in a ticklish situation trying to solve her problem and avoid getting blamed for it.

I'm always leery of mixing money and friendship, for I have seen the nasty fallout more than once. I don't think it's anything about professionalism or whether or not you do a good job, but more about them having to reveal more information to you than they are comfortable with (finances in particular). Also, you find out a lot about a person when you are involved in a large, important financial transaction...some things you would rather not know.

If you love your friends, you might prefer to avoid doing serious business with them or for them, and just get their referrals.

My guess is that for the most part they don't want you to know their financial information.  That's OK with me, the only thing I need is a mortgage approval.  They can speak with a lender of their choice, or I will refer them to someone.  But if we can't count on friends and family, who can we count on?  I always try to do business by referral, for anything that I need.

Courtney - some good comments already shared, it's sometimes diffucult to walk the personal and professsional line at the same time.

I have had a couple of friends tell me flat out that they don't want to be "embarrassed" by me knowing their financials. Maybe I need friends that are more financially stable. One does need to know how to keep friendship and business apart and it's a thin line.

Courtney...you may be one of the few that can pull it off......interesting post......thank you

Embarrassment may not necessarily mean "we're doing badly." It could be just the opposite. A lot of folks don't want anyone to know how WELL they are doing, to forestall invitations to invest, appeals from charities, friends asking to borrow, etc.