Everyone of us has been placed in this position before. Your good friend is moving out of state or in town, or you sister needs to sell her home. Before I get into this, I just want to let everyone know that I try to treat my family and friends like I do my other clients, with professionalism and respect. It seems to me that emotions are magnified when your work becomes as personal as this. The only time I really ever get into heated arguments in my career is when family is involved. Why is that? Even when I deal with the hardest of hard "non-family" clients, it never gets to the crazy point of arguing. I find it more difficult to list and sell a family members or friends home than helping them on the buyers side. Is that normal? Not all family members are difficult to work for, but I would have to say that I have seen my fair share. Sometimes I feel that I should just refer out my family and close friends, so we do not have to go through this fiasco. As we all know, that is near impossible. I would love to see what the network thinks about this topic, I want to see if I am alone in this problem or not.
Great topic, Jennifer. I worked with a friend once and it was a nightmare. I think that the most important thing I should have done before working with her was to really assess the type of person that she was. She's an amazing, strong, wonderful woman, and I'm proud to call her my friend. She's very supportive and has always been there for me, plus she's about the funniest person I know. That being said, she's really high strung, the highest of the high D's, if you're familiar with the DISC profile. I've worked with high D's before with no problems, but I won't work with another friend who fits this profile. She'd second guess every decision she made, calling me very late at night with stress and drama. While she trusts me as a friend with her deepest secrets, I felt that she didn't trust my judgment as an agent, and she consulted everyone she knew about her purchase. She ended up backing out of the deal 3 days before we were supposed to close because a guy that she works with who was a lender for all of three months told her that the lender I referred to her (one of four, the others couldn't help her get what she wanted) didn't put her in the right program. I lost a lot of hours of productivity dealing with her, but most importantly, I almost lost my friend.
Long story short, if I get into that position again I'll do a serious analysis of how my friend or family member and I would work together. It's just not worth losing your friend. I don't remember where I read this quote, but I'm pretty sure it was here on AR, so if someone sees it please take credit if it's yours. "If you chose to hire a friend to sell your house, you'll probably lose your friend but still have your house." Makes sense to me.
If your friends and family REALLY trust you, it shouldn't be a problem.
The few times I've ben involved in this way I made sure to explain how everything works - in EXTREME detail - before I even started to work. This has helped to prevent the 'second-guessing' for the most part.
I have dealt with this issue from day one of my real estate career. My aunt hired me to do marketing out of college for a new subdivision she was selling. One of my first few clients was my grandmother. I represent my father and father-in-law every year as they have formed an investment LLC for real estate. My cousin is my real estate investment partner and now my aunt that originally brought me into this career 10 years ago is now my business parter for Maxsell Real Estate. Through these past 10 years I have represented many firends and family. I am the managing broker for my aunt, uncle, cousin and step-father among the other 8 agents we have.
And through all this, I still manage to enjoy my career. No doubt that things are different when family is involved, but the key to succeeding for them and yourself is to define goals and expectations before you begin work. As long as you stay focused on accomplishing the goals they have set with you, then only good things can happen. One problem to avoid is discussing real estate at a family gathering (like today at Thanksgiving). Keep real estate separate from family time and everyone seems more comfortable.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wonderfull piece, I worked with my mother in-law in a few transactions. I terll you what, it almost evaporated our relationship. I have never seen how service can actually ruin someting faster than help before now. I could not believe it, we saw our true colors that for sure!
The last time I told her it would be ok if she had someone else sell her proerty, she insisted that I helped her. You know what the best part all this was...she ended up getting her own license after I moved to another state!
I guess I made it look easy!
Well Long story short-definately refer out. They think you are worth the money you made anyway.
thanks for the topic.
Shaun-Ann Smith
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