Joan, if you were to force a listing, it more than likely will not work out. I once was going to list a home for a divorced couple. The Husband was ready to sell; however, the Wife didn't want her Husband to make a nickel from selling. The house eventually went into foreclosure because the couple couldn't work with each other.
Agree with Michael..if they are balking at listing, they'll certainly balk at any offer anyway!
Joan -- you provide an excellent outline of what should really do if they truly want to serve their client. As Dan said, sometimes they just can't move on. Really appreciate you mentioning us loan officers and checking into possibility for one party to refinance. If they don't sell, and don't immediately refinance, and one party moves out. That party will find it difficult to buy elsewhere (due to high DTI caused by having to count payments on previous house - unless can get 12 months of receipts showing the party staying is paying). At the same time, if the market is problematic, there may be no option to refinance at the time (as we ran into with a couple who had Manufactured Home - and no one making such refinances.)
I ahve donethis more than once, or the seior citizen that starts to cry as she is filling out disclosure... Just not teh right time. They they are ready they do not cry they are relieved... and ready to move on... Consuling sometimes goes with the job..
It's not always about the money. It's about how you treat someone because it could happen to you.
Jean - I actually had a couple that would call me about every 6 months ago, to list their home for sale. Yet, when I'd show up at their dining table, and go through the presentation, I could detect some hesitance. After this happened a few times, I realized what was happening, was they'd get into an argument with each other, and then see which one of them could get to the phone and call me first. It was part of their fighting strategy with each other. Had this couple not been longterm friends, I would have lost patience, not that I didn't a little bit anyway.
The long and short of it is, they are still married today. During their last episode of calling me over, I explained quietly to them, that I wasn't a marriage counselor, nor was I a trump card to their problems.
Hope you don't get caught in to what Myrl was. That's an interesting story. Your's is a good read too, and yeah, sometimes when you sense hesitancy it's better not to take the listing and waste your time.
Very good points Joan. Helping people discover what is best for them is all about listening and discussing the options with them, putting them in contact with the right people, like the lender and an accountant, and trying to keep the family and home as normal as possible. I have talked a divorced couple through selling the home when there is no other option and I have discovered that selling was not always the best option as well. Thank you for sharing!
It is important to listen, but I agree that we don't want to get caught in the middle or pay marriage counselor. Been there - Done That... never Again.
Joan:
You are the kind of Realtor I want. Taking a listing is not the end all and be all. You have to listen to what your client's want. A divorce is so difficult on both parties. The fact that you were thinking of them and their well being is encouraging. There are Realtors who have hearts.
It sounds like you gave excellent real estate advice -- which you are not paid for. Trust me, this will only help your reputation. They will tell their friends about you. And of couse when they DO want to list the house, you know they will call you!
That is a true sign of an agent who puts her client's best interests above her own. That will be a referral that keeps on giving.
Hi Joan,
If it is possible to keep the house and not sell it in a divorce situation, it is always better.
The kids (and adults) are having lots of disruption in their lives. If their home can continue to be the same, it keeps one part of their live in stability
Phil
I don't like seeing people suffering in anyway but that is a part of life. When I am involved, I try to go past the obvious nonsense and get down to where we live and breath. Life is too short to stay in the absent or missing mode too long
As an agent, you have to step back and do what's right by the homeowners - and unfortunately, that sometimes means you won't be making a paycheck. You sound like a Realtor that I would want to work with when the time is right! Great job!
Hi Joan, I have come to similar situations where the time to sell would be better served at a later date. Dang, I hate when that happens, and I do the right thing. We have to act as if an important member of our own family was needing the guidance too.
Joan - This is what we need to do with all of our clients, not just the divorces. We need to listen and then advise.
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