This will be my first Father's Day without my Dad, and I'm sure it's going to be an emotional day of wishing I could go visit him and give him a big hug. But even through the grief of his death, I am reminded almost daily of how much a presence he still is in my life.
There are all of the memories of childhood: his patience in teaching me to ride a bike so that when I realized he wasn't holding on any more I figured if Dad thought I could ride, then I could - and I rode. His love for travel that led to many a family trip cross country in the trusty station wagon. I found that he had saved the journals he and I both kept during one vacation when I was about 13 - funny how reading those two travel reports you'd swear we weren't actually on the same trip since mine was mostly full of "the cute boy on the beach" or the "cute boy in the pool at the hotel". Somehow Dad's trip had a lot more about the history of the places we visited....
His patience held during all my teenage years, as a patient taxi driver for goofy, giggly teenage girls intent on getting to the movies or the big game before we were old enough to drive and more slumber parties than I can count. Wonder if he lost some hearing from all of our high pitched squeals?
Dad was my role model and mentor for the real estate business, and I know that despite how the business has changed over the years with technology, he still knew all of the most important things about how to treat people and communicate and work hard. Now that my son works with me as a third generation real estate agent, we both laugh about the impossibility of ever equaling my Dad's "sales records". Somehow whenever I would report to him what I had accomplished that day or week or month, his own "bests" were still just a little bit better. So that moving target will always keep me striving for the impossible task of reaching his records.
Probably the most important thing Dad taught me was that he believed in me totally, utterly and without reservation. How could I doubt that I could achieve my dreams when I knew Dad was confident. And so I will hold close all of the precious memories of laughter and love - even though I can't hug him this Father's Day, I can feel my Dad's presence all around me.
Miss you Dad.
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