Ya' Can't Fix Stupid: 2012's Best MLS Blooper Round-up

 

 

Friends, it seems everyone has a Top 10 List of some kind as the year rolls to a close, so why shouldn't we have one here at AR? These are my top picks for Blooper of the Year from my weekly MLS blooper blog. Read, enjoy, and have a wonderful 2013!

 

 

Bend Over

 

 

“Buyers will flock like bees to hiney” (Now we know the origin of the saying, "That's a sweet piece of a_ _!" )

 

 

 

“Area to add poon” (Nope, not going there...) 

 

"Submit forks by Tues." (Or what, I'm forked?) 

 

"Truly state o fart" (That's how we refer to Uncle Paddy after he eats onions.)

 

"Large panty off kitchen" (Large Marge in bedroom.)

 

"Bring your stools" (Are you an agent or a protologist?)

 

“Ass for Mary” (Let me guess - the inscription on your wife’s wedding band?) 

 

“Just hit marget” (But I’d prefer to slap you.) 

 

“100.0% down” (What's about to go down is your face in a bowl of bar nuts.) 

 

“Seller will include ether” (Something tells me you've inhaled it all.) 

 

"Live near the Hollywood Bowel" (Thank you, Dr. Freud - most of Hollywood is a sh_ _hole!)

 

Now Close Your Eyes 

 

“Nothing speared” (That’s a good selling point…if you’re a tuna.) 

 

“Privates purchase” (That’s against the law…unless you live in Nevada.) 

 

“New head in shower” (New inmate named Dexter.) 

 

"Hand-rubbed bra" (That must belong to Pamela Anderson.)

 

"Private Studo above garage" (Well give him my number.) 

 

"Large dick for entertaining" (Is this under Job Description on Studo's resume?) 

 

"Rod in bedroom not included, so please don’t ask" (Oh Studo, you're such a tease!) 

 

 

"Submit with FUCO scores" (I see you set the bar high.) 

 

 

Make A Wish 

 

"Seller is a crapenter" (Is that your way of saying he does shi_ _y work?) 
 

 

"Diamond in the Ruff" (Oh-Oh - Fido needs a stomach pump.) 

 

"Bar-B-Q Pet in Back Yard" (Apparently Fido didn’t survive.) 

 

 

"You'll love Morning Wood" (That depends on how much sleep I've had, Studo...)

 

"Looking for Hot Buyers" (Ugly folks need not apply.) 
 

 

"Comes with dick" (The fine print on Robin Wright's marriage license to Sean Penn.) 

 

“Located on fat pad” (So is my underwear, but I am not trying to sell it.) 

 

 

Sign Your Will 

 

 

“Five minutes to Strip” (Buy me a drink, and then we'll negotiate.) 

 

“Dogs need bee in houser” (Agent needs bee in schooler.) 

 

“Tooter on big lot” (Methinks it’s best to keep the tooter in your pants.) 

 

"Seasonal creep runs alongside the road" (When did Donald Trump take up jogging?)

 

“Waiting for sext owner” (Well, a sext owner is a happy owner.) 

 

“Kiddies will have balls on trampoline” (That neighborhood must be full of sopranos.) 

 

"Come now while seller is hot" (Tell him to think about Margaret Thatcher until I catch up.)

 

“Will be nice if bend over” (...Said the attorney to his client as he gave him his bill.) 

 

"Coffin & tea served" (Talk about a killer deal!") 

 
Now Kiss Your Butt Good-bye  

 

"Player piano and grandfather cock negotiable" (I see Grandma finally got fed up with that old relic!)

 

That's it for 2012, folks. Remember: Spell Well and Sell...and Happy 2013!