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Counselor, Therapist or Real Estate Professional????

By
Mortgage and Lending with Cherry Creek Mortgage Illinois Residential Mortgage License LMB #0005759 Cherry Creek Mortgage NMLS #: 3001 NMLS ID# 158606

 

Before law school, I obtained a Master's Degree in Clinical Pscychology. I wanted to work with teens, but ended up working with the parents who just bitched about each other and really weren't invested in the real problem.  SAYANORA....I was out!  Screw this, I thought and went off to law school.  But then, in law school, prior to becoming a licensed attorney, I entered mortgaget lending. 

During this journey, it became apparent

That a successful real estate professional will play the role of a counselor or therapist at some point!

If you really think about it, in order to climb the ladder of success you really need to Hear & Understand people. Those are both two completely different actions. Yes...they are actions.

1- Hearing is not thinking about what you'reHearing your clients is an active process saying next. It's not about your next pitch. It for sure "ain't about the sale, the listing, or the close." No hearing means an undivided, and uninterrupted focus on what your client is trying to pitch to you. This is pretty extreme for me. Today, I fully know why God sent me to graduate school for clinical psychology.

I HAD TO PAY FOR TWO YEARS OF GRADUATE LEVEL EDUCATION IN ORDER TO LEARN TO SHUT THE _____ UP and LISTEN!  YIKES!!!!  A would die over a pregnant pause.   I hated silence. One Millisecond of silence and I was filling the gap. I realized over the past 15 years that:

The Power goes to those who Keep their mouth's shut!

Now...I'm like bring it on!!!  Give me 2, 3, 5, 10 seconds of total silence....no problem. You'll get uncomfortable before I will and the client needs to know the my agenda is investing in them. That's it plain and simple. Hard to do, but well worth the practices.  (wanna do a stare down?)

You make a lot of headway understanding your clients

 

 

BIG EARS ARE BETTER THAN A BIG MOUTH!!!

 

2- Understanding! This is just as difficult.....really, it is! You might intake the words, but you need to process what's being communicated. My wife rips me for "not listening." I'll say yes I did, you said X, Y and Z. She say's I know your brain is a machine that can spit back whatever, but I don't know that you're undertanding me." Wow....ouch....Mr. Therapist gets slapped in the face by his wife. Guess what...clients are the same. We are so scripted in this industry that it often is rough for us to convey what a client wants us to convey. Sure we're giving the the answer that they ultimately want, but they want us to walk through the process with them.

If we don't we'll lose them and we can ultimately not be successful with the client. I've seen the best of the best master these skills. Everyone else flounders. Success is relational and not transactional.

Rates, programs, visions and problems all come across in a relationship with a client. Often times a divorce leads to a refinance or a home sale. Having the ability to meet your client where they are in life is critical to success of your business.

 

Pictures by www.imontvbitch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/active_listening.jpg and

http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/4514255/understanding_Full.jpg

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Comments(11)

Liz and Bill Spear
Transaction Alliance 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
Transaction Alliance Cincinnati & Dayton suburbs

Larry, Definitely another hat we have to wear, and listening and figuring out the true message is sometimes a challenge.

Apr 04, 2013 05:02 AM
Ginger Harper
Coldwell Banker Sea Coast Advantage~ Ginger Harper Real Estate Team - Southport, NC
Your Southport~Oak Island Agent~Brunswick County!

I like your style. I usually wait much too long to take control of the conversation. I know that many times, when trying to get a point across that may be touchy...ask the question and then stay quiet. Usually .."He who speaks first loses"..Just food for thought. Thanks, Ginger

Apr 04, 2013 05:03 AM
Pamela Seley
West Coast Realty Division - Murrieta, CA
Residential Real Estate Agent serving SW RivCo CA

Larry, truthful lessons to be learned from your post. Listening is one of the most difficult skills to master and letting the pregnant pauses hang in the air. Have a great day,

Apr 04, 2013 06:11 AM
Marnie Matarese
DWELL REAL ESTATE - Sarasota, FL
Showing you the best of Sarasota!

The biggest achievment for me in the last two years is just to let the silence continue - no jumping into every pause and not offering up opinions about any home that I am showing - just the facts. Great post.

Apr 04, 2013 06:42 AM
Jimmy Faulkner
Florida. Homes Realty & Mortgage - Wantagh, NY
The Best Of St. Augustine

Listening is an art, & more important than selling with the mouth. People want to know that you care so keep the cotton in your mouth & just listen. It could lead to a sale.

Apr 04, 2013 11:48 AM
Shar Giard
REMAX Equity Group - Gresham, OR
CRS, GRI, CDPE, CNE

I don't have the educational credentials that you have, but I think I've earned my 'street' degree working in real estate for the last 27 years.....I do consider myself a 'counselor'....a good listener and a good problem solver....

Though I don't 'solve' all of my clients problems, I' m willing to listen and see if there is something in my power to help....the key is 'in my power'...as I get older I understand what that really means!

Apr 04, 2013 11:52 AM
Helen and Larry Prier- Re-Max Gateway - Residential Real Estate
RE-MAX Gateway- Residential Real Estate Sales - Anacortes, WA
Anacortes & surrounding Skagit & Island Counties

I have always said that real Estate professionals need to be part Psychologist, Social Worker,etc. Love the picture of the Beagle with the ears. Yes, it is hard to control yourself to be a good listener but it is SOOO important.

Good info

Apr 04, 2013 11:53 AM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Larry: I could not have said it better! It is an art, you know, to hear what people are saying to you...listening is the act that makes the hearing possible and many people go through the motions claiming that they are listening when they have no idea what it really is, to listen. I love what you say here: "Having the ability to meet your client where they are in life is critical to success of your business."...That says it all! Suggested!

Apr 04, 2013 11:59 AM
Fred Griffin Florida Real Estate
Fred Griffin Real Estate - Tallahassee, FL
Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker

Well said, Larry.  So many Realtors are born Motor-mouths; they can't stand more than 2 seconds of silence before they start blabbering!   "Be slow to speak and quick to listen."

Apr 04, 2013 12:19 PM
Larry Bettag
Cherry Creek Mortgage Illinois Residential Mortgage License LMB #0005759 Cherry Creek Mortgage NMLS #: 3001 - Saint Charles, IL
Vice-President of National Production

Love the comments.  Shar....my credentials are such that I was such a big mouth...I had to pay someone for 2 years to teach me to keep my mouth shut.

All good comments...thanks!

Apr 04, 2013 12:24 PM
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services Inc - Gulf Breeze, FL
Buyers Agent 800-309-3414 Pace and Gulf Breeze,Fl.

We do wear many hats for sure I think we as Realtor have to set and plan a schedule and follow though to get more done

Apr 04, 2013 01:06 PM