I think it is part of the way the human brain is wired that we always wonder what we would have done different along the path that got us to where we are now.
What would we like to have known way back when, that had we known, we might be at a different or “better” place than where we ended up? It is almost as though if we had the answer to this question, our lives might have been easier or that we would have had to have fought fewer of the battles that were, to us now, obviously of useless value.
Many of these “wrong” choices or diversions along the way that I personally took, were not without the little pain-in-the-ass-voice sitting on my shoulder interjecting advice to the contrary.
Regret is useless.
Going back is not possible.
But sharing our stories may be helpful to others wrestling with the niggling voices on their own shoulders.
We can never get back the thousands of hours of watching mindless TV, living with the wrong person, or for that matter the thousands of hours watching great TV or living with the right person.
We are in a way more like the sleeping dog on the porch than we like to admit.
No matter how many hours the dog wiles away the days of his or her life, lifting an eyebrow now and then, the dog seems to be OK with it. Only human beings somehow seem to think they are above lying on the porch without feeling guilty.
Lying on the porch has to “mean” something.
We can actually think about how the way we laid on the porch yesterday was not good and maybe we will lie on it differently today.
This wisdom is neither good nor bad; it is just the way it is.
When the “job” of the dog is called for, the dog becomes fully focused in a heartbeat---and will catch that squirrel or mailman eventually---and if it doesn’t, that is apparently OK with the dog as well.
I think that everything we do in our lives is our own personal version of lying on the porch and in the end, our lives have simply been whatever they have been---regret is merely an illusion we entertain ourselves with. Now self-reflection will get us off the porch and after the next squirrel or the "hot" neighbor dog that crosses our path---and we won’t even think about the past or the voice on our shoulder. We might tomorrow though.
We have had the great opportunity and privilege to lie on the porch of life---and at the same time to be aware of it---now doesn’t that beat all?
It sure would have been nice to have known this 50 years ago. I am willing to bet that a part of me did.
Charles Buell, Real Estate Inspections in Seattle
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